Cancer: My Illness; My Battle; My Defeat

For those of you interested in my story, I will try and make it as brief and to the point as possible. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease on May 19th, 1993. I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school. I seemed to have everything going for me, good grades, starting Varsity short-stop... but my freshman year came to a sudden halt on that day. My father (who is a doctor) found swollen lymph nodes the size of golfballs, in my neck. He immediately ordered tests for what we initially thought was mono. It turned out to be cancer. I was unable to finish my softball season or the rest of my freshman year, academically-- I was devastated.

After my diagnosis things seemed to go pretty fast and a lot of it is a blur. I was immediately went to the hospital for biopsy's and tests. My port-a-cath surgery and first chemotherapy treatment took place all within the same week. The chemotherapy throughout the entire 18 months of what I like to call "hell", really weakened my immune system. I had a lot of visits to the hospital for days at a time. Blood transfusions were constantly given to me since my blood counts were constantly low. You are not supposed to get treatment when your counts are so low, so this prolonged the treatment... something that I did not want. Chemotherapy really messed my body up. I hated every treatment and sometimes felt like I was going to die from it.

One day in September of 1993, I had a horrible reaction to the chemotherapy I had received the day before. My temperature was up to 104.7 and I could hardly stand up. I was brought into the hospital to be treated. My fever did not go down for days and I think that was the first time I actually felt that I was going to die. I had lost hope for awhile and was sick of the pain and suffering. I was in the hospital for 7 days and found out that I had some kind of viral infection. When I first became ill, a friend of the family had called "Make a Wish Foundation" for me. For those of you who don't know about "Make a Wish", they grant, or try their hardest to grant wishes for kids with serious illnesses. All of my life, the only person I have ever wanted to meet was Olivia Newton-John. She has always been someone I have idolized since a VERY young age and her music had brought me so much happiness over the years. I knew that she had recently gotten over breast cancer, so when I was asked what my wish was, I asked to meet Olivia. I had gotten several phone calls from "Make a Wish" prior to the September hospital stay, telling me that Olivia was unavailable and very hard to contact. I would NOT change my wish, though. This is something I've always wanted and I was not going to give up on Olivia. I am lucky that I didn't. While I was in the hospital, I received a phone call from my father, the night of September 8, telling me that I was going to meet Olivia tomorrow in NYC. I was ectatic and extremely nervous. I had one obstacle to get over though, my doctor. She was apprehensive about me leaving the hospital because I was so sick. I assured her that I would be ok and if I was not feeling well after meeting Olivia, that I would go back into the hospital that night. My doctor agreed and home I went! The next morning, "Make a Wish" showed up at my door at 5am... I was going to meet Olivia before her appearance on the Regis & Kathie Lee show. I wound up meeting her 10 minutes before the show started. She talked to me and signed autographs for me. The thing that she did the most for me was give me hope, something I did not have at that time. I just looked at her and realized that she had cancer and look terrific, so why couldn't I? Her "pep talk" really helped me and I will never forget how she affected my life and continues to on a daily basis. The last thing Olivia said to me on September 9, 1993 was "...I'll pray for you...". I was completely amazed at what a beautiful, caring person she was. I was flying high that entire day, but was still not well enough. I had to check myself back into the hospital that night. After one day, my condition changed dramatically. I owe it all to Olivia. The doctor's were amazed at my progress and my new POSITIVE attitude. It is definitely true that your mind is half of the battle. So for all of you out there who are suffering from any disease, keep that positive attitude, it could make all the difference in your battle!

Me, Olivia, Mom 9/9/93 Regis & Kathie Lee Show
My chemotherapy treatments were prolonged a few months because of my weakened immune system, but I stayed in good spirits, looking forward to the end of treatment. When chemotherapy was over, I had a month "off" to recover and get my counts back up. Then I was to start radiation treatment. Radiation was not as bad as the chemotherapy, but once again was a long, drawn out process due to my weakened condition.

I got through all the treatments, however and today as I sit and write this, I am pretty darn healthy. I have been in remission for 6 years and counting. The cancer is GONE and I don't expect it to come back. My doctor's are very optimistic and believe that I will live a normal, HEALTHY life.

For those of you who are suffering with an illness or who have family or friends suffering from an illness... the most important thing is to STAY POSITIVE. Listen to your body and take care of your body. For those of you witnessing someone experience this horrible disease, be there for that person as much as you can. We all get moody and depressed sometimes and we might push you away... but we DO want you there. Sometimes we don't know how to say "Thank you" or tell you that we are human and we do need you. Bare with your loved ones, they are going through their own private hell right now. It's important that you stick by them through their ENTIRE ordeal. They may not say it, but it truly does make a difference.

GOOD LUCK to all those afflicted and affected... you are in my prayers. CONGRATULATIONS to all of you "SURVIVORS"... may you live a long and HEALTHY life...

**Help make the special dreams of children facing life-threatening illnesses come true by supporting The Make-A-Wish Foundation. For more information, Please call 1-800-722-9474.**
http://www.wish.org/

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