Okay okay, I've never heard that before in my life, I just made it up right now. It sounded really old and wise, didn't it?

But anyway, let's get to the point of this little editorial that's supposed to bring some sunshine in your life, shall we?

Let's face it, today in the world of soap operas, everything is well...make-believe. You know that, I know that, freakin' Rosie O'Donnell knows it, too.There's something about soap operas that isn't ridiculous, though at times it can be. They're enchanting, they're intriguing, and they're just damn cool. Just damn...cool. That my friends, is what I used to think of General Hospital.

You heard me....used to.

Allow me to explain.

I started watching General Hospital at the peak of my teen years...13 years old. Fresh faced and soooo very gullible. Exposed, practically naked to the thought of soap operas. What the hell do I mean, you ask? Well...in other words, I mean open-minded to the soaps. Soaps quickly became my life. Sure, I grew up around them, my grandma watching the Young and the Restless, me pretending to sleep, one eye open, one closed so it looked like I was sleeping (I was naughty). My aunts loved the ABC soaps. My dad was a Santa Barbara freak. My sister and I loved All My Children. The soaps were a part of my life, is what I mean.

I remember the early days of watching. I didn't care about any of the other storylines, but I did later. I know all I wanted was some Lucky Spencer. Hoo boy, if you didn't watch back then...you missed a LOT. Lucky, a.k.a. Jonathan Jackson, would bring the freakin house down. That boy....oooh, that boy, well, he did wonders on me. I was 13, ready to hump my TV (I am soooooooooo not kidding). All I wanted was to watch GH, forever and ever. Just as long as he was there. And I knew that would be forever.

Yeah....right.

Enough sadness for a second, though. I did, however, eventually, get emotionally attached to other storylines...Sonny and Brenda, Luke and Laura, Kevin and Lucy, Ned and Lois, those cooky Quartermaines. Also known as: The Good Ol' Days, where everything was peachy-keen, and there were no Cassadine renegades and steel rooms to keep my baby captive, and really STUPID ASS break ups (*cough*Luke and Laura*cough*). Those were so....so. You just don't know. Those were so cool, so....magical, in a way. Magical realism, as my teacher would say. Pretend situations happening in real life, to real people. Sha? Ya! As you can tell...I LOVED it. I loved those days. I loved EVERYTHING about GH back then, and it made me tingle at night (not in that way). It made me want tomorrow to come for a change. I basically lived for GH, but mostly for Jonathan Jackson. (I was 13, remember?)

Okay, so here we go. To the sadness. First of all, lemme tell you that I cannot be held responsible for what I say. You read the disclaimer before you started this, and there's absolutely NO turning back. You're not on a damn rollercoaster ride...you're on the internet, about to enter freakin' warp speed. There's no running from the line, screaming like there's no tomorrow. Time to face the music. So come on, feel the flow, and here we gooooo (NSYNC fans would know the plug :)).

Here it is....*deep breaths now*...General Hospital is the crappiest show on freakin Daytime Television. Emmy-shmemmy, I hate it now. Jyeah, it's won every damn award on this Earth, but what does that prove? No, seriously. Maybe this is just the alcohol talking (it's not), but, when I watch the show, it's seriously like..."What the f--- is this sh--?" No, really, I'm not trying to be funny, and I'm not even trying to be sarcastic. I just, can't sit still and watch the show anymore.

I guess it first started with knowing that Jonathan Jackson was leaving. I knew it would happen, because his talent is endless, and his career shouldn't be limited to just one thing. He is one of the most talented people I have ever witnessed, ever seen, ever been able to acknowledge. I'm in awe of his poise, his promise for the future. He is just amazingly gifted, and talented, and smart that I'm left speechless. Words cannot fully explain how much he has touched my life, and how he lives his life makes me look at my own and wonder where I've gone wrong.

Enough of my drooling, I sound like an idiot. Anyway, when I found out he was leaving, I couldn't help but think about it at night. I'm not kidding. I wouldn't be able to sleep. The night before his last episode, I couldn't sleep. No, really. I wouldn't lie about this. I would try to close my eyes, but all I could see was something hapening to Lucky. I couldn't help but wonder *what* would happen. Oooh boy, did I get a surprise...I thought Lucky died, damnit! I was SO angry that he got killed in the fire the night before. Then I find out, what, he's in some steel room trying to break out? Yes!!!!!!!!!!! I was glad about that one. Jonathan could come back if he wanted to, and that was ALL that mattered. (So I thought. We'll touch on that later)

During that time, I was debating on whether or not I should keep on watching the show. After all, I did start because of Jonathan....why not stop because of him too, just to balance things out? Well, guess what *I* decided...I would watch, still, because, there was Nikolas, naturally. I do have a Lucky AND Nikolas homepage. So, that was all good, right?

Wrong. Tyler Christopher decides it's time to leave, too. I don't blame him, though, he is equally as talented as Jonathan, though, I'm not that much in awe of him. He needs to spread his wings and prepare to fly, and he did. He flew right out of GH, and hey, whatever floats your boat...floats your boat.

So yeah, that kind of left me in a big ass rut. Jonathan was gone, Tyler was gone, and now there's this...dude in his place. I swear to God, whenever I see Coltin Scott, I keep going, "Who the hell is that?" Then they call him Nikolas and I'm like, "Oh yeah, sure." Nothing against Coltin, he is cool, I think, but....let's face it, he's no Nikolas....true dat, yo. Basically...the magic I saw in GH before was now disintegrating. I didn't feel that "tingle" any longer. I was pretty much...blah for a while. Until...

Jason and Carly. Now, I know some people didn't really like them together (for SHAME they are SO cool!), but I was one of the people who did. I remember being like...in LOVE with them. How they looked at each other. How he always stroked her cheek, pushed her hair behind her ear....ooh, girl, CHILLS. And Jason...hot freakin damn, he is FINE. Not fine...FINE. He was suddenly a replacement for Lucky and Nik. Sure, my page was a bust, but Jason was just....oooh, can he be any more sexy? Sweet Jesus...anyways. To make a long story short, everything got messed up. People slept with people, things got said, blah blah blah, now my favorite character, Lizzie, isn't really a favorite anymore, to my sadness.

I will now be blunt. I warned you, I WILL get nasty, because, well, GH has been nothing but naughty. Here I go.
1. Lizzie is getting on my nerves. I cannot stand her. I wish she would go away, before the Lucky recast comes. I wish she would stop bad mouthing Carly because she doesn't know jack spit about nothing. "Jason this" "Jason that..." damnit woman, shut your hole. And stop pushing that guy. "Nikolas" or whatever. He can't help it, he gets led around by his nipples...hehe. 2. I'm sick of Felicia and Faison and Luke. I mean, Luke's cool, but damnit, Felicia...stick a cork in it. Tell Mac you love Luke, and divorce him or something. DO something, just stop whining. Oh yeah, you shoulda killed Faison when you had the chance. Like THAT was a good time for yourconscience to set it. Sheesh.
3. Hannah. I've kept quiet about her because I know people are "sensitive with this." Well, tough noogies, because she irks me to no end. Clones are not cool, and you know it. I do, however, love how Sonny is just plain MEAN to her. Carly mean. "Merry Christmas," she says. "Not this year," Sonny says. Mobster comedy, at its best. I will not comment on her acting, because, in reality, I STINK myself, so why even try to comment on it? Thank you.
4. A.J. is a stinky butt kissing loser. Why is he so mean to Carly? "I'll send you back to Ferncliff.." yadda yadda yadda. Shut up, please, AJ, like you're any better, ya damn drunk. Oh sorry, you're "sober." Waa waaa, waaa. Don't even TRY to threaten to take Michael away, you know Carly's gonna kick your ass. Hello, she was a VR Trooper. You don't mess with saturday morning kung foo shit.
5. Juan and Emily. I know Al will be mad at me for badmouthing her couple, but I'm kinda annoyed. Girlfriend! Boyfriend! Gag me! I mean, it was cute the first time. now I'm just annoyed. I LOVE Juan, though. Boy you knock me out. Ooh, don't get me started on Emily. Why does she act like her shit don't stink? She was all yelling at my girl Lizzie. Please. Someone take out the trash.
6. The writing. The stories. I effin HATE the stories. For real, though. I'm sorry, what happened to the Guza come back or whatever. That stupid ass black curtain, and Luke says, "Things are gonna be different around here from now on" at his damn club. Guza is just fudgin up EVERYTHING. He messed up my Jason and Carly, my last hope for GH. Now I'm just mad. Ticked, mad.

And that's basically it. With the Lucky recast coming (which is a whole other story. More on that later), I really don't know what to do. Sure, I still watch GH, that's a fact. But you know I be workin the fast foward button. Frankly, it's not cool. I feel sorry for myself sometimes. I mean, GH was my life. I Loved it to no end. Now I can't WAIT until it ends. I mean, there are days where it's cool, and very entertaining. That's why I'm still watching. But man...the quality. Where did it all go?

Nobody knows. Nobody...knows. But hey, if you hate it...dump it, right?

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