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The Funnies! - http://geocities.datacellar.net/Hollywood/Hills/9159/index.html
- Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American ad campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
- The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
- In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
- Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
- The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."
- When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
- Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.
- When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
- An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."
- Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," got terribly mangled in yet another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."
- Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales.
- Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno mag.
- In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
- Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.
- In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.
- On a movie theater: Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child.
- In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
- In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
- In a toy department: Five santa clauses, no waiting.
- On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
- On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
- On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
- In a laundry room: Do not put wet clothes in dryers, as this can cause irreparable damage.
- On a display of "You're my one and only" valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
- In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
- In a clothing store: Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
- In a men's clothing store: 15 mens' wool suits -- $10.00. They won't last an hour!
- On an Indiana shopping mall marquee: Archery tournament. Ears pierced.
- In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel/No End.
- In the window of a general store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come right here?
- In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.
- In a New Jersey restaurant: Open 11 AM to 11 PM Midnight.
- In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
- On the grounds of a private school: No trespassing without permission.
- In a library: Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops taking it away.
- In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.
- On a Pacific Coast Highway, somewhere in South California: "No motorized bicycles, horses, or dogs allowed on pier."
Signs Spotted Overseas
- In a Tokyo Hotel: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels. If you are not person to do such a thing, please do not read this notice.
- In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
- In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
- In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.
- In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
- In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
- In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
- On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
- In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
- Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
- In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.
- Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
- In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
- A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
- In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
- In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
- On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
- Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop; Drive Sideways.
- In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
- In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
- In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
- French Restaurant Menu: Extract of fowl, peached or sunnyside up.
- On a Chinese Menu: Special cocktails for women with nuts.
- On a Greek Menu: Spleen omelet, fisherman's crap soup, calf pluck, bowels.
- Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
- Somewhere in England in an open field otherwise untouched by human presence, there is a sign that says "Do not throw stones at this sign."
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