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© 1998

Xena: Closed Captioned for the Humor Impaired

  • 04-01-98

    Ho ho ho! It's the commentary on the now traditional Christmas fare, A Solstice Carol. A Dickensian romp through the Xenaverse with a bit of Santa Claus lore to fill in the gaps of unhistorical history.



    Quotes Worthy of Bardliness

    Let's Get Physical:
    "She's a very physical person. I completely agree with you. If the plan fails, we punch faces."
    --Gabrielle (A Solstice Carol)

    Busier Than Grand Central Station:
    "What is this, the town square?"
    --Silvus (A Solstice Carol)

    Metaphor or Simile?:
    "I was speaking metaphorically. We shadows from the past tend to do that."
    "Yeah."
    --Gabrielle & Xena (A Solstice Carol)

    You Want the Window at the End For Gift Wrap:
    "I didn't know you did giftwrapping."
    --Gabrielle (A Solstice Carol)

    More Than Just a Weapon:
    "Funny how the ribbons bring out it's shine."
    "It's not an ornament."
    "Flashy thing like that, what else could it be?"
    --Gabrielle, Xena, & Lionel (A Solstice Carol)

    Miscellany:

    Bah Humbug!
    Silvus is a regular Scrooge, as if we couldn't tell. I'm just trying to figure out if Senticles is more of a Santa Claus or Bob Cratchit.

    Christmas Sales in the Marketplace
    Xena's not much of a shopper. She's probably the type you want to avoid when fighting for a parking space. But she's sure polite while running through the marketplace to get her chakram back. Unlike some shoppers we encounter.

    And They Lived Unhappily Ever After
    Nice little story Gab told. Notice the looks, it's like "Uh that's not a very happy story.

    Chi Chi Chi Chia!
    Just what Gabrielle wanted--a Chia pet.

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