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© 1998

Xena: Closed Captioned for the Humor Impaired

  • 03-31-98

    Xena's not the only one who's crazy. Apparently, I was crazy enough to save & watch The Furies more times than I can count. You know, I didn't think it possible I could get tired of it, but alas I have, which is why it's shorter than the others even though it wasn't that bad of an ep. But here's the commentary anyway.



    Quotes Worthy of Bardliness

    Trivial Pursuits:
    "I've cut off the flow of blood to your brain and other pertinent body parts. So tell me, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"
    --Xena (The Furies)

    It's My Round Spinning Thing:
    "This thing is great! And to think I've only been using it all these years as a weapon."
    --Xena (The Furies)

    It's Not the Journey, But the Trip That's Important:
    "Hey, I like this. I can see where I've been! "
    --Xena (The Furies)

    Xena: Practical Joker:
    "Xena, pull yourself together. "
    "Pull my finger. "
    --Gabrielle & Xena (The Furies)

    I Can't Take You Anywhere:
    "Will you behave yourself. I'm rather ashamed of ya! You behave or you don't get to go. "
    --Xena (The Furies)

    Miscellany:

    Gabrielle: Amazon Chef
    Wonder what those lil dumplings with the red stuff inside are? Must be really delicious if the thought of them makes Xena look giddier than an ingenue on Oscar night. Well maybe not that giddy, but considering her usual straight faced self, she was a lot happier.

    Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard
    This episode's guest choreographers will be Moe, Larry, & Curly, AKA the Three Stooges. Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.

    Casual Sex?
    Xena speaks so casually about her birth. Well, considering she was crazy at the time it's only natural, but still, interesting way of describing it.

    Warrior Demigod?
    Is she or isn't she Ares daughter? Maybe back in The Ties That Bind Ares was really her father & not just acting the part to get her back.

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