Succession: enh this was an okay ep. Seems Gab still has those insecurities and Xena's doesn't think she can handle fighting. *rolls eyes* Mavican was a little dense. Like you can replace Xena. HA! Interesting to know that Ares has his eyes on Gab's abilities now. And the whole body switching was kinda cool. Anyone see Ladyhawke? (ed. note not like I've seen the whole thing) All in all not a horrible ep.

Animal Attraction: The title just wards you off. Oddly set in a western town ala spaghetti westerns. I did have this awful urge to sing the Bonanza theme song. But Alison Bruce!! Alright! Not in her Melosa role but hey, she got to do more. But did they really need Armand? Whatever. Amarice's scenes were funny with him though. And Xena and her mood swings, especially smelling flowers and with the teddy bear.. LOL. And looks like Gab gets a horse (til the next ep that is).

Them Bones, Them Bones: Well you know, when you get a whole bunch of Amazons together it should be interesting. Yakut used to be cool but now she's annoying me. First she brings back Alti's body. hello? Then when Gab fails in her lil drug trance she seems condenscending. Hey! She wouldn't even had to have been under if you didn't do some mystical stuff to Alti's bones. And we learn that Amarice isn't really an Amazon. That was interesting. I do have to say that I've grown to like Amarice since her first ep. Too bad she decided to stay with the Northern Amazons.

Purity and Back in the Bottle: I decided to group these two together since they're both the China eps. I kinda liked the bad twin. At least it looked like she washed her hair.. Yes, proper grooming is important. Plus better outfit. :) Let's see.. nothing really stands out in this episode. I'm not sure if this is the one or BitB was the one where Xena did her Jean Grey imitation. There was a big whatever. On a side note, I can't wait for the X-men movie to come out.. now if I ever find time to see it in the theatre. I hate when I'm going to see things and never do. Anyway... Looks like Ming Tien's back along with his sister. That turning around thing was kinda lame. Ming Tien seemed to be for looks and no real purpose. Oh and look! People are still falling for Gabrielle!

Little Problems: LOL This has to be one of the highlight episodes so far. I loved it!!! Pair up Dite and Gab any day, they're a hoot!!! I could watch the Brun and Hilde scene over and over. And the Junior Amazon cookie scene. heehee. I totally love Alexandra Tydings!! She's hilarious! Daphne did freak me out a bit in her Xena voice. It was a little too Exorcist for me, but I did get used to it. She's pretty good. But Tharon is an idiot. I couldn't tell what his deformity was that he had to do the whole Man in the Iron Mask bit. What was it anyway,a scratch? Sheesh. But this is my fave ep this season and maybe even beats last season. :)

Seeds of Faith: YES!!! They finally killed off Eli. That man ANNOYED ME TO DEATH!!! Um.. can't think of anything else significant in this ep. Yeah yeah.. sugary, sweet Callisto gets reincarnated as Xena's kid. Big deal.

Lyre, Lyre Hearts on Fire: WHOA someone went off their medication when they wrote this one... or they had the bad sluvaki (sp?) Whatever the case, this was one weird ep. But it wasn't terrible. It was nice to use already written songs but I was a little disappointed Joseph LoDuca didn't write anything original. Unless the song after the first commercial break was his. But for some reason that sounded familiar too. The best song though was Draco's Always Something There To Remind Me. Hey, I loved the 80's! And a rockin' version too. LOLOLOL At least this time they got a good stunt voice for ROC. As for Amoria, she wasn't too bad. They had someone who liked Joxer but wasn't an idiot and actually seemed to give him some pointers, like how he was trying too hard. Plus, she was coordinated, which I couldn't say for her Amazon sisters ;) But what is up with Gab and the whole Go-Go thing? In Quill, it was 3 naked Gabs dancing to Go Go music, now she's actually in a cage and dressed horribly. thank god she turned down Draco.. he has no fashion sense and she'd be stuck in some horrid lingerie probably. :) What I don't understand was why Xena had to still wear that coat? She's indoors for crying out loud. Sure she's pregnant but everyone knows that so trying to hide it is stupid. And the designer went through the trouble of making a warrior maternity outfit. The least they could do was show it off once in a while. Plus, LL was probably super hot in that thing. I did not get that. Jace was pretty good too. Ted Raimi is a pretty good actor and singer. Draco's ok seeing he mostly yelled but LL... a previous opera singer (or something) doing rap... I think not.

Punch Lines: Dr Aphrodite is in. LOL At least she gives more attention to Gabrielle than Artemis. What's up with that? And look! Gabrielle got her horse back! So is Argo dry clean only? Everyone knows you don't wash shrinkables with warm water. But that Lachrymose needs to take a chill pill and lighten up. That story about the rabid rabbit had my LMAO all over again, even more so this time. God of Despair sure but he's just a grouch. He also seems so out of the loop... for a god of despair, he's never heard of Xena? I'm sure she caused much despair in her warlord days. Now why Gab used the Indrajit flying carpet scene to make him laugh is beyond me. But enough of point by point comments. Gotta love the slumber party Dite poofed up. She's actually helpful, yet fun! I love it! Glad to show Aphrodite as a god with a brain. Oh man... the supermarket scene.... MUZAK!!!!! And then mini helium Gab.. oh man. But one of the best lines... "Excuse me. First you buy it, then you eat it. Oh that's pretty." And the look Xena gives.. Priceless. (I feel like a MasterCard commercial) LOL and the Shriners were around in ancient Greece. No comment on the pie fight. It's a pie fight... what else is there to say. But liked the bit of Wagner. Gotta love the Valkyries. Interestingly, Gotterdamerung means Twilight of the Gods, which is the big deal in the next ep of Xena.

God Fearing Child: Ok a bit scattered commentary on this one since I basically forgot what happened anyway. Herc pops up sporting a new hairdo. Ooookay. Can we say, "Waiting for space show to be picked up so figured I'd mooch off my Herc appeal"? So that's what our hair will look like in the future. Oh yeah, I skipped some Zeus and the Fates stuff. Apparently, we have another mysteriously conceived child bringing the end of the world. But this child is GOOD... as Xena keeps saying. At least I think she said that or Xena said that about someone. Ok now for some gripes... they got a new Hades. That was a bad move right there. Plus it's that annoying Phalanges or whoever from A Good Day. Man, does he suck! And not too bright. Just keep the freakin' helmet on your head seeing your bait and lure technique isn't working esp with those henchmen. Ok, I have to admit I'm skipping tons of stuff cuz I just can't remember it. Moving right along, let's see.. new Solan.. enh.. but what's up with that cocoon thing? Since when was Tartarus like that?! Ho hum zzzip fast forward.... birthing scene... call me crazy, but I'd think Xena would have a easier time giving birth if you weren't sitting on her Gab. Definitely pre-Lamaze classes. But LOL when Gab tried to tell her a story to get her mind off things. It was like a lil 1st season flashback of Gab there or something. Oh yeah! What happened to Hera anyway? Did she get sucked into Hurricane Zeus? Is she dead or just out of the way for a while? What in the world was that about?!? I really wish I had done this commentary sooner cuz that's basically all I can remember about this episode. Oh yeah.. and Ares was in it too. The End.:)

Eternal Bonds: Joxer gets sliced by poisoned sword... death is immediate. Oh sorry, this isn't a Borg synopsis. But well, that's the plot. Go on mission to find cure, Xena does some stuff, uh.. Gab admits to being a bitch. What more do you really need to know? Ok ok, I'll give you more.... There's these magi, see? But this isn't Gift of the Magi. Um.. drat, that's all I can remember of this ep too. As you can see, this season was quite memorable.

Amphipolis Under Seige: Just as it says...Xena's hometown is under attack since the gods are still after Xena and Eve, who, in case you haven't figured it out, is going to bring about the Twilight of the gods. This time Athena is hopping mad. Could be because she no longer is the bookworm from Herc, but now some horribly dressed chick. I'd be mad too if I had that outfit. Her head mortal is someone named Alanis or something. Elanis... Alanis.. whatever. Makes me think of Alanis Morissette, which is a BAD thing. So, anyway, fighting ensues, Cyrene is there and I don't remember if they made her act stupid or not, but she does some singing of Glede ma Glede (I think) and stands her ground so I guess she's not acting all goofy. There's an elaborate plot of Xena getting in the sack with Ares so he'll protect Eve but it turns out to be a doll. And yes, this isn't a commentary but well, nothing memorable here except Athena's bad outfit. For a goddess who's supposed to be a master weaver, it's no wonder Arachne beat her if she chooses outfits like that.

Married with Fishsticks: Good gravy! Why won't they lay off the drugs already?! Let's see, suddenly Lil Ms Sensitive,Gab can't take care of a kid for the life of her. LOL about the "watch out for that tree" AFTER Joxer hits it. Ok.. high point, Aphrodite. She's just a hoot!!! Discord was enh but hey if she wasn't there then Aphrodite wouldn't have been able to have some great lines. DUH! gotta love the 40-love (or whatever the number was) line. New outfit for Dite though. Then Gab gets knocked in the water and ACK!! Illusia music. EESH! Then we go on our drug trip of the month AKA, plagiarism of the month (ie Overboard). Anyway, it's some really trippy resort living or something and Gab...er whatever her name was and Hagar have these mutant kids... Sealboy, Urchin (who oddly enough looks like a sea urchin *wink wink*) and Squid Kid. Having to interact with that must've been weird. But I have to give kudos to Meighan Desmond and Alexandra Tydings for their Joisey accents.. or was it New York? Wherever. It's somewhere on the east coast. Anyone notice at the end when Gab is being resucitated you can see the ring on her finger.. well more like when she's kissing Joxer you can see the ring on her finger? Was this a mistake or planned? What bothered me was Xena's "Gabrielle, is there someone you want to tell me?" "Uh, no Xena, I just fell into the water after getting konked on the head by a pulley and had the most trippy experience since Illusia, but other than that I was fine while you seemed to be missing and Joxer was giving me mouth to mouth which I rudely took for taking advantage of me AFTER I kissed him, but since we want to maintain some sort of subtext or some plot where I really don't like him, I had to punch him. And I'm sure you can see the two goddesses over there so you're a smart cookie, put two and two together. I dunno, that scene just really bothered me. What kind of question was that? Why even bother putting it into the script anyway? I give this ep a big WHATEVER!

Lifeblood Alright, now here's a fun one. I'm speaking facetiously of course. But it was good to see Danielle Cormack again though she was pissy during the whole show. Then again, if some upstart from the 20th century popped in and took over my tribe with peace, love, and the macarena, I'd be a bit pissed too. Anyone else notice Karl Urban as primitive boy.. er Kor? hehe I still laugh at the "good body" line. Oh wait, this show is called Xena right? Better talk about that. More killing off the Amazons. Steve Sears must be fuming, but then again these are like "based on" now since SS is gone. Makes me think of Gene Roddenberry's Earth Final Conflict... there was a reason it was hidden in a shoebox.. it SUCKED! Anyway... seeing in Cleo 2525 Kate Elliot (Yakut) is Rose's.. er Sarge's spaced out sister, Lily, she'll be on that show more often so no more Yakut. And Amarice is obviously Cleo so it gives them the right to kill off these characters. Though they could've just left them alone and had these Amazons as a different group. Cuz 1) where's Chalupa? 2) oh wait.. it's the Northern Amazons, or is it? They're not clothed anymore than Gab's group. 3) maybe it's the Southern Amazons instead to cover this plot snafu. 4) no guesting roles except dead spirit people for Jennifer Sky and Kate Elliot, unless they too can play pissed off dead Amazons who eat the swift ones. ("I see dead people") So glad the peeps at Renpics get to recycle wasted film. Amazon High turns into Amazon Origins. It took me awhile til someone pointed this out since I was wondering why the Utma was speaking in modern English without any of the dramatic pauses the Amazons seem to have. I do have to say I loved that top! And the jacket too. Too bad in the ceremony they had to slice thru it. I'd have been pissed if I was Cyane (the first one that is). But she sure seemed to adapt to the whole primitive women tribe well, but I guess this is cuz they only used clips. Okay I've got some gripes... weird ceremonies... bad dancing... and well... retarded plots. Gab needs to assert her queenly power more. That weak, "no." isn't going to cut it, but it is called Xena for a reason. They have a new chakram so why not save the horse with it. I don't know about anyone else, but Eve is really getting on my nerves. We still have no clue what her purpose is. No one seems to be concerned about it either and the gods stopped going after them. Riiight. Anyway, then there's the KISS fans chasing after the soon to be Amazons. I wonder where Cyane got that name if they weren't that before and she hadn't gone back to name them that? EEP It's one of those timeline things... To paraphrase Capt Janeway on her thoughts on temporal mechanics, "The past is our future. The future is our past. Quite frankly it all gives me a headache." I guess if you don't have the paint, you're not initiated yet. I do have to say, my mom and I aren't peaceful people I guess and would side with Samsara anyday. We were totally rooting her on to kill that guy who killed her father. We'll spit and ride the swift one off into the sunset with you, Samsara! And last but not least.. they were most definitely doing the macarena or something close to it. That's just WRONG! And I thought Gab was the one to do the bad dancing first.

A little off the Xena topic
Cleopatra 2525: not too bad. Jennifer Sky did scream a bit much so I'm hoping next ep she gets to do more. Opening song is yet again, someone else's but I kinda liked it, despite the fact that to some it didn't seem futuristic enough *wink wink*. This show has some promise, but too short to really get any intricate plots going.

Jack of All Trades: uh.. whatever. Theme song was cute but more of an enh. I'm not that huge of a fan of Bruce Campbell. And the woman who plays Emilia does a better job in this role than in her role on Tsunami (thanks to a friend for pointing out who she was when she seemed so familiar). The whole French treatment I thought was dumb. And the Dragoon with an American accent and Jack is the only American there. Hmm... (glad to know I'm not the only one who noticed this ;) ) I wasn't going to watch this anymore but in the opening credits I did notice Jodie Dorday and on Whoosh she's mentioned in an upcoming ep... sooo... hehe. Damn the writers for killing off all the good Amazons!