"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...." -Dennis Miller
Like everybody, there are quite a few things in this world which just annoy the hell out of me. I try not to voice these opinions for various reasons. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, I appear bitter when I do, etc. Unfortunately, unless I voice my frustrations, they don't go away. The solution I've come up with, is this Rant & Roar section of my website. Every so often, I plan to vent my frustration, go on a rant and just plain roar about a certain topic that annoys me. I mean absolutely no offense to anyone in particular. This section is not an excuse for me to attack anyone. It's just me letting off some steam.
You can also check out my previous rants.
You know those nasty wrinkles you've been dying to get rid of? Well, if you've got some extra cash lying around and you're not afraid of dangerous and unnecessary surgery, then get ready for Botox injections! Botox injections are able to visibly reduce the wrinkles on a person's face by affecting certain facial nerves. The procedure is a rather simple one actually. Just take the most deadly poison ever known, and inject it directly into your face!
Yup, that's right, Botox injections involve injecting yourself with small doses of botulism in order to relax and/or paralyze certain nerves in your face. Now medically speaking, this is extremely useful for people with serious facial nerve damage or other similar problems. The only problem is, that many people are not using it for medical reasons. You see, the thing about Botox injections is that if certain nerves in the face are paralyzed, it can reduce the amount of visible wrinkles on a person's face. To me, that sounds kinda like smashing yourself over the head really hard with a blunt object to help you sleep. I mean sure, it'll get the job done, but there are less damaging methods out there.
So, basically, there are people out there who are WILLINGLY injecting botulism directly into your head just to look slightly younger. Since the stuff only works for a limited time, people have to keep coming back for more injections. Now, as you might imagine, if the procedure is done wrong, there are some pretty nasty side effect. Apparently, severe facial paralysis and deformity are possible side effects if the injections are not done properly. Also, the stuff is lethal if too much is used. Gee, you think this might be because YOU'RE INJECTING DEADLY POISON INTO YOUR FACE?! You think maybe THAT has something to do with it? Let me tell you something, if you inject botulism into yourself, then I just can't feel sorry for you if things go wrong. Just like I can't feel sorry for a cliff jumper who smashes his head open. Hey, if you didn't want that to happen, then DON'T JUMP OFF CLIFFS! This isn't brain surgery we're talking about. These are not hard concepts to grasp here people!
Now, I know that our society puts enormous pressure on people to be young and beautiful, especially women, but don't you think Botox injections are going just a wee bit too far? I mean, even those who are insanely obsessed about their looks need to be able to draw the line at SOME point. If you're the type of person who absolutely refuses to look old, then for the love of God, try using a method that DOESN'T involve injecting a deadly toxin between your eyes!
You know, after this stuff seeps into the brains of a few of these people, I bet they start forgetting how to pronounce the word "wrinkle" and end up going for Botox injections to help reduces their "facie-liny-things". And I can only imagine what these people are teaching their children... "Remember Billy, there's no problem that can't be solved by injecting yourself with poison!" Of course, I bet their face is wrinkle free when they say this, so who am I argue?
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