"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...." -Dennis Miller
Here is my Rant and Roar page. My rants vary in length depending on how I feel and how much I have to say about each issue. Once again, I'd like to point out that I am not trying to offend anyone in particular. This is just me blowing off some steam.
In one way or another, we're all film critics. I mean, my claiming that "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the worst thing to ever be made by the human race" makes me a film critic on one level or another. We all have our own opinions about different movies, and lots of us aren't afraid to voice these opinions to any person, animal or inanimate object that will listen (wait... you mean no one ELSE does that... oops.... Never mind then.). There are those who actually do this for a LIVING however, and while it's a job I wouldn't mind having myself, I don't really have much respect for the film critic.
Let's start by seeing what the purpose of the film critic is. I think we have film critics for 2 main reasons. First, many people in today's society just don't have the time to actually SEE movies that they don't know anything about. It's too much of a gamble. People want to know what they can expect from a movie and if they are going to like it. Is a movie going to shock and surprise them? Well, then people want to know that before they walk into the film (I don't think they realize the irony of that). This is where the film critic steps in. It's the critic's job to watch the movies which are currently in theatres and to rate them. Many also like to give away major plot points (I guess for those people who don't have time to waste watching the ENTIRE movie). The other reason for having film critics, is for parents to judge whether a movie is appropriate for their children or not. I find this reason to be much more important. The movie "Child's Play" is a horror movie about a doll that comes alive and starts killing people. Parents may want to know this before they bring in their 3 year old to see it. I think this can be solved by having the company which produced the film write a warning to parents. We don't really need film critics for that.
So, how does one review a movie? Well, it is possible to objectively analyze different aspects of a film. Things like setting, cinematography, script and others can be judged and reviewed, but beyond that, things really become a matter of personal taste. I mean, some might claim that acting ability can be objectively reviewed, but I'm not so sure of that. That's not to say that we can't objectively tell a horrible actor from a decent one. To quote Mike Nelson concerning Keanu Reeves: "This is a man you rent skis from, not someone you point a camera at for the purpose of entertaining the masses." Other than that though, things become largely a matter of taste. After all, even if an actor is really good, he or she might be in a role that doesn't require a lot of depth or acting talent. Also, mediocre actors could be put in fabulous roles which improves our view of them. Then, there are the average actors. Some think they are fabulous, others think they are horrible, some think they are aliens, etc. The point is, even something like acting, which we think should be reviewed objectively, is usually a matter of taste. This is my problem with film critics.
Most if not all film critics, despite what they might say, review movies based almost entirely on their personal opinions. Now, I can't really say I blame them. After all, a movie could have very nice scenery, great cinematography, and character development up the yin yang, but it still might suck. Most people really just want to know if a movie is enjoyable or not. Film Critics try to tell people this, but all they can really base this on is their own opinion. And, as we all know, tastes differ dramatically from person to person. That means most of what a film critic talks about is really irrelevant to whether people should see a movie or not. Now, it really pisses me off when these critics try to pass of their opinion off as if it were some kind of objective truth. They then seem to think that this 'objective truth' is reason enough to avoid a movie or to see a movie. They seem to think that just because they are PAID to review movies, that their opinions suddenly becomes more relevant than our own. Also, I can't stand this need most movie reviewers have to ruin all the surprises in a movie. I want to actually SEE the movie. If you're just gonna tell me what happens, then I might as well just stay home.
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