"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...." -Dennis Miller
Like everybody, there are quite a few things in this world which just annoy the hell out of me. I try not to voice these opinions for various reasons. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, I appear bitter when I do, etc. Unfortunately, unless I voice my frustrations, they don't go away. The solution I've come up with, is this Rant & Roar section of my website. Every so often, I plan to vent my frustration, go on a rant and just plain roar about a certain topic that annoys me. I mean absolutely no offense to anyone in particular. This section is not an excuse for me to attack anyone. It's just me letting off some steam.
You can also check out my previous rants.
If you find the following rant offensive, then you can read the Jesusified version of it.
I'm not sure how many of you out there have seen the commercial I'm talking about. I think it's just a Canadian ad, since I only remember seeing it on Canadian channels. Those who have been following the current season of Buffy on YTV should know exactly what commercial I'm talking about though. The commercial is for a moisturizing cream which "feels like gentle summer rain." The commercial is really just shots of a pretty teenage girl dancing in 'gentle summer rain' cut with shots of her putting on the moisturizing cream.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure I understand the slogan. How can a cream feel like gentle summer rain? One is in cream form and applied in small quantities. The other is in liquid form and applied in large quantities. In what way are these comparable? The texture alone is radically different. Is there anyone out there who has actually stood in gentle summer rain and said "you know what this reminds me of? That damn Nivea Soft Cream!"
Am I the only one who seems to notice that people don't like being outside when it rains? Usually, when it rains (even the gentle summer kind), people try to get out of the rain. I had to walk to work the other day in the rain, and let me tell you, I was cold, wet, annoyed, frustrated and unhappy. Why would I buy a product that's compared to something unpleasant? Why not go all the way and compare it to the really unpleasant stuff?
"Nivea Soft: it feels like your nostrils are being violated."
If people buying Nivea Soft really want their skin to feel like it's being exposed to "gentle summer rain", why don't they just leave a bucket outside when it rains? Whenever they want to feel that feeling of Nivea Soft, they can just dunk their heads in the bucket. That way, they aren't using some imitation. They're using the real thing!
I mean, it sounds like they're just making up something they hope will be deep or meaningful, when it's painfully obviously that they're making up something that sounds deep and meaningful. I can't imagine people are buying this product because of the slogan, and if they are, then they really don't deserve to have money to begin with. What they should have done, is try to list some sort of ingredient or pseudo-medical information to at least make people think there is a scientific reason this stuff works. That way, even if it's total crap, people will at least think there's legitimate science behind it.
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