"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...." -Dennis Miller
Here is my Rant and Roar page. My rants vary in length depending on how I feel and how much I have to say about each issue. Once again, I'd like to point out that I am not trying to offend anyone in particular. This is just me blowing off some steam.
If you find the following rant offensive, then try reading the Jesusified version!
Here's a neat trick! Follow the instructions bellow carefully. Be sure to follow them in order or it won't work! Ready?
Take the year you were born...
Divide that number by the last two digits of the year... (ex: if you were born in 1978, then take 1978 and divide it by 78)
Add that number to the current year...
Subtract your age...
Now add 3...
And finally, multiply that number by 0...
Notice anything interesting about that number? That's right! It's the amount of tolerance I have for these kinds of stupid e-mails! I find it rather surprising how many of these e-mails actually exist. Some involve math, others word association, but all are completely useless. The fact is, I really don't care if I'm in that 3% of population who didn't think "PIG" when asked what farm animal comes to mind when I think of the phrase "uncontrollable urination". I call these kinds of e-mails "Who-Gives-a-Crap" E-mails because, frankly, who gives a crap? I mean, does ANYBODY care? Does anybody actually read these things and go "Sweat merciful Lord!!! When I divide the current year by Pi and then multiply that number by my age plus 36.472847, it equals the date I was born! It's a miracle of science!"
I would like to both applaud and kill the people who discover these things. I mean, it IS impressive that some people figure these things out. I have the utmost respect for these people. HOWEVER, if you didn't invent the trick, then don't send it to every person on your damn e-mail list! Odds are, they won't care.
I can't understand why people send these kinds of e-mails around. I mean, you send jokes because they're funny, you send poems and meaningful messages to uplift the spirit and you send chain e-mails because you're stupid, but why would people send THESE kinds of e-mails. They don't claim to be funny, uplifting or even entertaining! All they do is take up e-mail space. It's like an old trinket that you never throw out because you figure SOMEONE might want it, but no one ever does.
So, the next time you get one of these e-mails, help to stop pollution by deleting the damn thing!
Check out some of my previous rants
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