Love is this black void that I keep falling into, over and over. I don't understand why this need consumes me. Why must I fall in love with the one person who can never return my feelings.
I would give anything to have him. To have him love me the way I love him. To have his arms wrapped around me, and his lips pressed to mine.
But his love is something I will never possess, no matter now hard I try, no matter what I do. No spell can aid me, I can not enchant his heart. He does not look upon me.
Why do I do this to myself, why do I torture myself in this way? I have this knife pressed against my wrist, why do I not pull the jagged blade across my flesh and cure my sorrows? What do I have to live for? Why should I go on when the one thing I want in life I will never have?
Why do I dream, why do I wish, why do I breathe?
puppy - 7/28/98