You wanted me mad, You wanted me angry. You wanted me violent. You didn't want me. You wanted me to be you. I am not you nor do I want to be. I may envy you at times, I may wish I had what you have, but I am happy being me. I don't need rage to make me feel complete. I don't need to hate. I can be at peace with myself and that pisses you off. That's your problem, not mine. Quit trying to fix me, I'm not broken. I can handle my own problems. I am a big boy, I can take care of myself. I don't need a guardian, I need a friend.
Always an arms length away. Don't let anyone in. Let them see a fantasy, then rip them apart. Slash my throat just to watch me bleed. Hurt me. You only hurt the ones you love. Tease them with affection, let them see the mirage of a good friend. Pretend to understand, Pretend to care. Give me warmth, then watch me freeze. Push me away. Knock me down. Help me up so you can knock me down again. Put me in a cage and observe me. Watch me. Experiment on me. Hate me, Hurt me. Beat me. Abuse me. Torture me. Tell me to fight back. NO. I don't wanna live that way. I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, unless it makes me happy too.
I have claws. I have fangs. I can hurt.
I can kill. I choose not to.
I don't like to hurt others.
I don't like others to hurt me.
Stranger and Stranger. My life is spinning out of control. Desire and hate mixed into a bloody pulp I just can't handle. I want you to be happy, but it seems to only way I can make you happy is to let you piss me off. I don't like living in anger. I don't understand.
If someone told me that just being around me made them happy, I would be ecstatic. If someone needed me, I'd love it. If someone loved me, I wouldn't push them away.
puppy - 5/18/97