Sitting across the table, I peer into the soul of another version of myself. I look into the deep blue eyes and I can see another world, a world I get lost in. A world that calls out to me for someone to fill the void. And my heart runs to the lonely soul who is calling, and I throw myself into this existence. I swim through the rivers and search through the forests, fly overhead, and dig beneath looking for this being that needs me.

And just when I am ready to give up, I come to a gentle meadow, a surreal mist covers the ground and the colors seem to blend together, and the trees make beautiful music. And right in the center is the being, floating slightly above the ground, and I rush forward to this vision of sheer perfection and I can feel my heart melt and I can taste everything that I ever wanted and I reach out to him.

As my fingers touch his body, waves of ecstasy flow through me and I can feel my heart begin to warm up and my pulse begins to race. And the being turns to face me and my eyes meet with his for the first time and the being smiles and says, "Who the fuck are you? I was calling that red-headed chick standing behind you with the cute ass."

And so I reach across the table and light another cigarette.

2/14/99