Residue

As time has passed I have come to realize that he fucked me up far more that I thought. Apparently I never resolved my issues, I only put them away, hid them in the back of my mind.

Now that I have found somone new and have allowed the walls that I built to protect me to crumble, I realize that my demons are still there.

I barely know you and I already feel that I am incomplete when you are not with me. I am already so needy of your love and attention.

I have to get over this - I have to face my demons once and for all - I can not continue to exist in this co-dependent hell.

I have to let go.

If I ever want this to work, I have to understand that you have a life to lead and so do I. Time does not stop for us to be together.

And what's even worse, I have already hurt myself so badly, and in my mind I try to blame you. You are not the fucked up one here - I am.

I have to let you into my life and into my heart - Not pull you in and lock you in here with me.

I want you to want me ~ I need to not need you.

puppy
02/27/02
7:40 pm