Scene Ten
We hear a train whistle. In one, MOLLY enters wearing black
ostrich feathers and toting the precious briefcase. ANNIE MAY follows with
two valises. THEY hurry across the stage.
ANNIE MAY
Lawsy me, Miz Molly. I never thoughts we'd make it.
MOLLY
Five days on a junk is hardly a trip on the Ile de France. Especially
with a Chinaman with one long pigtail, one long fingernail and a short
everything else.
(THEY exit. Curtains part, and we are on the Shanghai Express,
looking at it from the outside. There are three compartments, all behind
a scrim, but only the center one is lighted so that we can see inside.
MOLLY and ANNIE MAY open the door and enter. ANNIE MAY begins unpacking
the suitcases as MOLLY slumps into a seat and pulls out a nail file.)
ANNIE MAY
Miz Molly, didn't that Mistuh Duval, didn't he say we wuz to takes a
roomette.
MOLLY
He's French, what did you expect?
ANNIE MAY
But, Miz Molly, this here's a drawing room, ain't it?
MOLLY
In the first place, he didn't know you were coming with me. I can hardly
see the two of us in a roomette. In the second place, I wouldn't be caught
dead in a roomette. And in the third, they don't have roomettes on the
Shanghai Express. Roomettes are like men, Annie May. They're comfortable
only when the bed is down.
ANNIE MAY
Oh, Miz Molly! But where'd you get the money to change da reservation…an'
buy us all dese scrumptious clothes?
MOLLY
The King of Hearts.
ANNIE MAY
He done gives you da money?
MOLLY
No, Annie May, I done took it.
ANNIE MAY
You done stole it?
MOLLY
Why not? That money was given to him to do away with the real pilot
and lead us straight into the hands of the enemy.
ANNIE MAY
That there's a cryin' shame, Miz Molly. That Mistuh Johnny, he some
hunka man.
MOLLY
Too bad I'm on a diet.
ANNIE MAY
Well, I sho' misses Samoan Sam. And I bets in yo' heart o' hearts you
misses Mistuh Johnny.
MOLLY
I detest him. I never want to see him again as long as I live.
(Lights dim in their compartment, come up in the compartment
on the right. JOHNNY is staring face front out of an imaginary window.
SAMOAN SAM is behind him.)
SAM
See her yet, bossman?
JOHNNY
Yup. Just went into the next compartment.
SAM
She come with my China doll?
JOHNNY
Yup.
SAM
That some woman that China doll.
JOHNNY
You dumb palooka. That ain't no China doll. That's a negro maid from
Papeete.
SAM
You kiddin', bossman.
JOHNNY
Bossman ain't kiddin'. They're two phony baloneys if I ever seen two
phony baloneys.
SAM
But you likea her. I seen it in your eyes.
JOHNNY
That tramp? Who stole my smackeroonies?
SAM
But you was gonna do her in.
JOHNNY
I wasn't never gonna do her in.
SAM
But that part of bargain with Mister War Lord.
JOHNNY
Yeah, that's what I said. But I wasn't gonna harm her. I was just gonna
take the briefcase and set her down in Taichung. But now that she stole
my smackeroonies…
SAM
What you plannin' do, bossman?
JOHNNY
(clenching his fists)
You jus' wait and see, Sammy boy. Jus' wait and see.
(Lights dim in that compartment, come up in Molly's.)
MOLLY
Why are they taking so long to start the train?
ANNIE MAY
I hear da porter he say dat some bigwig comin' aboard.
MOLLY
Trains are like men, Annie May. Sometimes you gotta stoke them to get
'em going.
ANNIE MAY
Oh, Miz Molly!
(Lights dim in Molly's compartment, come up in the one on the
left. BARON is at the window, smoking a cigarette. CLARISSE comes through
the door, dressed in exactly the same outfit as Molly.)
BARON
She's here at last. In the next compartment…
(HE turns, sees Clarisse's outfit)
What is that?
CLARISSE
What is what?
BARON
You know blasted well!
CLARISSE
Yes, darling, but I think it suits me better.
BARON
If I wanted Mandalay Molly, I would have stayed with Mandalay
Molly.
CLARISSE
You couldn't very well, could you, if she kept pushing you overboard?
BARON
You forget the most important point, my dear. I was the only love of
her life.
CLARISSE
Really, darling, let's not talk of the past. Let's talk of the present…and
money.
BARON
What do you mean?
CLARISSE
Daddy won't send me another shilling.
BARON
WHAT?!
CLARISSE
He doesn't think I'm the real Clarisse Forbes-Franchon. You see, that
bore Colin cabled him that I was dead. And that fool Esme confirmed it.
Now he thinks I'm an imposter and wants his money back.
BARON
Gottinhimmel!
CLARISSE
And he won't believe me unless I return to London immediately and he
sees for himself that I am really his daughter. And of course, I can't
go back to England and leave you, my lover…
BARON
Go! Go!
CLARISSE
What did you say?
BARON
Oh! Oh!
CLARISSE
That's why, darling, it's so imperative for both our sakes to get those
documents.
(BARON moves behind her and pantomimes strangling her, as the
lights dim in their compartment and come up in Johnny's.)
JOHNNY
Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You won't be so jolly
The moment you see
You darn well will be
A dame in distress.
(Lights return in Baron's compartment.)
BARON
Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You've pulled your last folly---
See how it feels
When you're under the wheels
Of the Shanghai Express.
(From stage right, in a business suit, WAR LORD hurries on followed
by CHANG and WANG, who are loaded down with suitcases.)
CLARISSE
As twilight lingers,
She'll be tied to the rails.
WAR LORD
I'll kiss her fingers,
But there'll be no fingernails.
WAR LORD, CLARISSE, JOHNNY, BARON, CHANG & WANG
Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You'll be one dead dolly!
What do we care
While lucking out
Plucking out
Each platinum hair?
That is the end,
And what a finale!
Dismembered and bald,
Miss Mandalay Molly!
Miss Mandalay Moll!
(Now lights rise in Molly's compartment. SHE is still filing
her nails.)
ANNIE MAY
I hears singin', Miz Molly.
MOLLY
Happy peasants always sing, Annie May.
ANNIE MAY
Dese don' sound like no peasants, Miz Molly. It sound like yo' song.
MOLLY
Which one?
ANNIE MAY
"Mandalay Molly".
MOLLY
Probably some poor homesick sailors.
WAR LORD, CLARISSE, JOHNNY, BARON, CHANG & WANG
That is the end
And what a finale!
Dismembered and bald---
Miss Mandalay Molly!
Miss Mandalay Moll!
CURTAIN
