RATED PG
Ray and Benny sat at the window of Benny's hospital room. They were sharing a pair of binoculars and "observing" the activity in various windows in the surrounding buildings. Ray was peering intently at a couple whiling away the lunch hour in a most creative fashion. He was so absorbed that he didn't notice that Benny had become pensive, staring into space, lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly,Ray broke into a grin.
"Holy cow, Benny! I think that woman just broke one of the laws of physics!"
Fraser didn't answer. He did not even appear to have heard. He continued staring straight ahead.
"Benny?" questioned Ray.
Fraser turned to him, looking very troubled. "Ray..." he paused. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
The look on Ben's face turned to one of incredulity. "For what?!? For almost ruining your life!"
"Oh... look, Benny..."
"No, Ray, please just let me say this, okay?" Ray looked uncomfortable, but he nodded. Benny obviously needed to say this, and truth be told, Ray needed to hear it.
Benny took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Ray."
Benny broke into a smile, but there was no humor behind it."I've got a hell of a way of showing it, don't I?"
Ray opened his mouth, then closed it again. He wanted to tell Benny that everything was all right. But it wasn't. Not yet.
"I've never had anyone stand up for me the way you did. You put everything on the line for me: your job, your house, your family. And how do I repay you? By kicking you in the face."
"Benny, no."
"What? My God, Ray! I was leaving! Don't you get that?"
"Yeah, well, I found a way to stop you, didn't I?" Ray asked, the pain and bitterness clear in his voice.
"Ray! that was an accident! But what I did to you..."
"Look, Benny, it may not have been an accident, but it wasn't entirely your fault, either."
"Excuse me?!?"
"No, I mean it."
"Exactly how strong are those pain killers they're giving you?"
Ray grinned. "Unfortunately, Benny, I'm stone cold sober."
Benny smiled slightly.
"Come on, Benny, she had you twisted up into all kinds of knots. You weren't exactly thinking clearly the last few days."
Benny snorted. "You have a way with an understatement, Ray."
"She knew how to push all your buttons, Benny."
Fraser looked at him, and Ray winced inwardly at the pain in his friend's eyes.
"Yeah, she knew how to play me. Probably better than even she had anticipated. She actually had me thinking that she loved me."
Benny stared out the window again. Just as Ray was wondering if he would continue, Benny turned back to face him.
"I would have come back, you know. It would have been far too late, but I would have come back. You would have gotten your house back. Maybe even your job. But what would have happened to your career? The whole ugly mess would have followed you forever.
"As for me? Well, I would have lost everything. My career. My freedom. But more than that, I would have lost you, Ray. I would have lost the most important person in my life.
"And I think that's what Victoria wanted all along. She wanted to destroy me. If she couldn't do it one way, she would do it another."
"But she didn't," Ray said firmly.
"No." But Benny did not sound convinced. He took another deep breath and looked at Ray.
"She never loved me." It was a statement, but Ray could hear the question behind it.
Ray looked back at Benny, holding his gaze firmly. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his friend any more than he already had been. But thinking that things could ever have turned out any differently with Victoria would probably end up hurting him more than anything.
"No, Benny, she didn't love you. I don't think she even knows what love is."
"I don't think I do either. Up until the end, I thought she might actually love me. But if she did, she would have gotten off the train." Benny's voice broke and he looked down at his lap.
Ray felt his throat tighten. He wanted to tell Benny everything was going to be okay. He wanted to hug him. But most of all, he wanted to track down Victoria and kill her with his bare hands.
"Benny... I'm so sorry..."
Benny didn't look up. "You did me a favor by shooting me, Ray."
"Jesus!" Ray exclaimed. "Are you thanking me?!?!"
"No, of course not. I'm just saying that things worked out for the best."
Ray felt a sudden odd combination of overwhelming rage and a strong desire to burst into tears. So he did the only thing that he could. He started to laugh.
Benny looked up sharply.
"Oh, man," Ray gasped out. "Aren't we the pair. Maybe that's why we're best friends, Benny. Who the hell else would put up with either one of us?"
Fraser grinned.
Ray's laughter tapered off to a few giggles. Fraser looked over at him, his smile gone.
"I am sorry, Ray. I am so profoundly sorry."
"Benny," Ray said, laying his hand on Fraser's arm and giving it a firm squeeze. "I forgive you."
"God, Ray, how can you?" Benny looked back out the window. Ray noticed with some alarm that Benny's eyes were filled with tears.
"I can because I'm your friend, Benny. Sometimes friends make mistakes, and when they do, their friends forgive them."
"Mistakes?"
"Okay, really stupid mistakes. But you know, Benny, you've never been one to do things in a small way."
To Ray's relief, Fraser laughed.
Ray tightend his grip on Ben's arm. "Fraser." Ray waited until his friend had met his eyes, then he spoke very clearly and firmly. "I forgive you."
Fraser looked at him. Ray really meant it. Benny felt a huge wave of relief wash over him. "Thank you," he said simply. Ray nodded.
Both men looked away and took deep breaths, needing to release some of the very heavy emotion that had built up in the room.
Ray glanced over at Benny, and a wicked grin spread across his face. He handed Fraser the binoculars.
"You really wanna thank me? Fifth floor, third window from the left."
Benny looked where directed. "Great Scott!" he said, turning bright red.
Ray burst out laughing. "Yeah, I bet you never saw anything like that up in the Great White North, huh, Benny?'
"Well, actually, Ray, the Inuit have a fertility cermony that is rather close..."
"Fraser."
"Yes, Ray?"
"Shut up and hand me the binoculars."
"Understood."
The End
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