RATED PG
Alliance owns these characters, and I make no legal claim to them by writing this story. The story is written for entertainment purposes only, and no profit will be made.
GOING HOME
Ben sighed and turned off the small television set hanging above his bed. No matter how much Ray tried explaining it to him, he could never fully understand the game of baseball. Although the fact that he had to watch through so much interference didn't help matters much.
He picked up a book and read a few pages before closing it and putting it back on the nightstand. He was bored, and restless, and he wanted to get out of the hospital. After more than a month as a patient, it was getting harder and harder to find diversions with which to distract himself.
He sighed and leaned back against his pillows, checking his watch. Ray should be here soon, and his visits always made the time go by faster. To his and Ray's mutual happiness, Ray had been released from the hospital three days ago. Despite Ben's protests that Ray needed to rest and recuperate, he still visited Ben faithfully every day, staying for hours.
Just then, Ray entered the room, and Ben smiled happily. Ray was wearing jeans and a white cotton shirt, and his sling seemed to be hanging over his shoulder at a jaunty angle. Ben shook his head. Ray was the only person he knew who could make a bandage and sling seem stylish.
"Hey, Benny!" Ray exclaimed, hurrying into the room. He had more spring than usual in his step, and his eyes were sparkling.
"Hello, Ray. You seem to be in a very good mood today."
"I am," Ray grinned. "I just talked to your doctor. He said that your therapy sessions are going so well, and your health is so good that you can go home in two or three days!"
"I know," Ben nodded and looked away.
"Benny?" Ray asked, a puzzled frown taking the place of his happy smile. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be excited at the news."
"Well, I would be, Ray; except the doctor told me I can't be on my own yet. There are still some things I can't be doing for myself quite yet. Until I progress to that point, I won't be able to go home."
"What 'be on your own?' You'll come and stay at the house."
Ben turned back to look at him, an expression of horror on his face. "No, Ray. I couldn't possibly do that."
"Why not?"
"You know why. The last time I was there, I destroyed the place. How can I return now as a guest?"
"Come on, Benny. It's not like you tore the place apart for the hell of it. You were trying to help me."
"That's not the only reason, and you know it. Your family almost lost that house because of me and my stupidity and selfish actions. How can I return there now as if nothing had happened?"
Ray shifted uncomfortably. "Benny, come on. You-"
"You haven't told your Mother everything that happened, have you?"
"No. I haven't."
"How much have you told her, Ray?"
"As much as she needs to know."
"Ray..."
"Benny, it's between you and me, okay? Nobody else needs to know what happened."
"Ray, that's not true."
"We're not going to argue about this, Benny," Ray snapped. "I've made my decision, and that's it."
"There is no way I can stay there, Ray. I can't be taken into your home, into your family and treated as an honored guest. I couldn't take it, Ray- having your mother fussing over me and worrying about me; cooking me special dishes and making sure I was comfortable. How could I do that, knowing that I almost cost her- almost cost your whole family- their home? Because of me, everything your mother worked so hard for all her life was nearly wiped out in an instant."
"Benny, look..."
Ben gave Ray a smile as he parroted his words back to him. "I've made my decision, and that's it."
The look of happiness was completely gone from Ray's face now, replaced by one of anger and sorrow and guilt. He turned away from Benny and turned on the TV, then cursed violently, hitting the side of the television. "You're paying $500 a night to stay in this damn place, you'd think they could at least get you a television that worked."
Two days later Ben was lying in bed, leafing through one of the magazines Ray had brought him. He looked up at the sound of footsteps entering his room; and he smiled happily. "Mrs. Vecchio!"
"Hello, Benton," Rosa walked over to bed and dropped a kiss on his forehead. "How are you feeling today?"
"Quite well, thank you."
"You look very well," she smiled. "Much better than you did even last week." She looked at him thoughtfully for a minute, then smiled again. "It's such a nice day that I thought we might go down to the sun room."
"That sounds like a very good idea," Ben agreed.
Rosa helped him into his wheelchair, and they went to the room at the end of the hall. They went through the sun room and out to the patio. It was indeed a warm day, with the sunlight shining down on them, and the colors and scents of the blooming flowers all around them.
Rosa got Ben's wheelchair settled, then sat down on a bench next to him. "I want to talk to you about something, Benton," she said, a serious expression on her face.
"All right," Ben nodded. "Is everything okay?"
"That's what I want to ask you."
"What do you mean?" Ben asked, puzzled.
"Well, as I said, you seem to be doing much better; and I know that your physical therapy is going very well. It seems like you should be ready to be released from the hospital, but whenever I bring up the subject with Ray; when I ask about getting the guest room ready for you, he looks uncomfortable and unhappy; and he changes the subject."
"Oh," Ben said, looking down at his lap.
"There is something going on, Caro. What is it?" Rosa asked gently.
Ben took a slow, deep breath, then looked up at her. "The doctors say that I can be released soon, but I can't be on my own. And I can't bring myself to stay at your home."
"Why not?" Rosa asked.
Benny bit his lip and looked away, then forced himself to look back at her. "There is a lot that happened while you were away that you don't know about."
"Yes, that much at least I know," Rosa said wryly.
"It's because of what happened that I can't be a guest in your home."
"I don't understand," Rosa said quietly.
Ben took another deep breath. "How much has Ray told you, exactly?" He asked.
"Not much, I suspect. I try to get him talk about it, but he has made it clear that he doesn't wish to discuss it. He just told me that a woman with whom you used to be involved- with whom you used to be in love- came to Chicago.
"He mentioned that you had arrested her, and she was looking for revenge. He told me that she was trying to escape, and while you were attempting to arrest her, Raimondo accidentally shot you, and that's how you ended up in the hospital."
"That's all he told you?" Ben whispered hoarsely.
"Yes."
Ben squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of pain washed over him. Oh, Ray... "There is more to the story, Mrs. Vecchio. So much more. And I think you have a right to know."
"All right, Benton. Tell me."
He looked into her face, soaking up the look of love and concern. It was probably the last time he would ever see that expression on her face. "After I tell you what happened, you won't want me to stay in your home anymore. You probably won't want me in your life anymore. I just want you to know that I understand that reaction."
"Tell me, Benton," Rosa repeated quietly.
Ben nodded and took a shaky breath. "Her name was Victoria..."
Forty-five minutes later, he was still talking. "Victoria had headed to the train platform. Ray stayed behind to guard the money; and I went after Victoria. I found her on the train platform, and I took the gun away from her. She jumped onto a train that was just departing the platform, and I just stood there, watching her pull away. The she asked me to come with her.
"She was asking me to escape with her, run away with her. She told me 'you'll regret it if you don't.' And I allowed myself to listen to those words, to believe them. In that instant, I knew she was right. If I let her get away from me again, my chance at love would be gone, and I would live with that regret for the rest of my life. So I started running after her. I was going to go with her.
"As I was running down the platform, Ray and the rest of the officers arrived. Ray saw me running after Victoria, and he saw her reach her hand out to me. When she left the station, she had a gun; and Ray thought she still had it. He saw a gun in her hand. He thought she was going to shoot me; to kill me. So he took a shot at her. Just as he pulled the trigger, I jumped onto the train, and the bullet hit me instead. I fell off the train and onto the platform, and that is the only reason I'm still here today. If Ray hadn't accidentally shot me, I would have gotten away with Victoria, and..."
His voice trailed off, and Ben sat in silence, staring down at his hands, which were clenched into fists in his lap. He sat waiting for Rosa's reaction; whether it was silent disappointment, or explosive anger. He wasn't sure which he feared more.
But the silence dragged on and on, and Ben finally forced himself to look at Rosa. What he saw stunned him. Instead of the anger or shock or hurt he had been expecting, there was a look of compassion and love and even understanding on her face. "My poor Benton," she whispered softly.
"What?" He said in disbelief. "Mrs. Vecchio, didn't you hear what I said? Didn't you understand what I told you?"
"Of course I did," she replied calmly. "I listened to every word you said, and I understood what you were telling me. I know what you did, and I know what would have happened if you had been successful in your attempt to run away."
"How can you be sitting there so calmly?" Ben asked. "I almost cost you everything."
"I'm not saying that you didn't make a huge, horrible mistake, Benton. We both know that you did. But I forgive you."
"How can you?" Ben blurted. "How can you forgive me, or ever trust me again?"
"Because I know you, Caro. I know who you really are. You didn't set out to hurt me or my family, you didn't purposely try to cause us harm. You just had a moment of weakness, of terrible misjudgment.
"But I am not going to judge you by that one moment. I am going to go by the man you really are. The man I have known since the first time my son brought him home to dinner. That man is a caring, giving, wise man, who always tries to do his best, and to help other people. That is who you are, Benton. You are not a perfect man, but you are not a villain, either. You are a human being, with flaws as well as strengths, and I accept this person, and I love him. And I want you to know that you are still welcome in my home."
Ben just stared at Rosa in wordless disbelief. Then, for the first time in far too long, he was taken into a mother's arms, and he cried against her shoulder.
Ray tapped his toes against the floor impatiently, and looked at his watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. He had thought that Benny didn't have a therapy session this afternoon. And even if he had, he should have been back by now. Maybe he should go find out where he was, make sure nothing was wrong.
He was about halfway to the door when Benny entered, escorted by Rosa. "Hi, Ma," he said in surprise. "I didn't know you were coming. I would have given you a ride." He moved to help Benny into bed.
"Don't worry about it, Caro. Benton and I were just having a little talk. We were making plans for when he comes to stay with us after he is released from the hospital. Isn't that right, Benton?"
There was a brief pause before Ben answered. "Yes," he said with a small nod.
Ray grinned in delight. "Well, that's great! What made you-" He broke off, looking from Benny to his mother.
"I'll get going now," Rosa said. "Give you boys a chance to have a visit." She crossed over to the bed and gave Ben a kiss on the cheek. "I'll come back tomorrow if you'd like, Caro."
"I would like that," Ben smiled.
"All right." Rosa turned to Ray and drew him into a fierce hug. "You are a good man, Caro," she whispered, "and I am very proud to be your mother."
"Thank you, Ma," he said, pleased but puzzled. He watched her walk from the room, then turned to Benny. He saw that Ben's eyes were red-rimmed, and his suspicions hardened into a certainty. "You told her, didn't you? You told Ma what happened."
"Yes, Ray, I did." Benny said quietly.
Ray sank into the chair next to the bed. "Why?"
"I had to, Ray. Not only was it the only way I'd ever be able to look her in the face again; but she had the right to know."
"Benny..."
"For your sake as well as hers," Ben added.
"What?"
"Ray, you need someone to talk to about this. Someone other than the police psychologist you were ordered to go see. Someone who loves you and truly knows you. It's not right that you should carry all the anger and pain and guilt- misplaced guilt, I might add- all by yourself."
"Benny, I..." Ray looked down at the floor and cleared his throat. He looked back at Benny, and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "You need to let go of some guilt yourself, Benny."
Ben looked into Ray's expression of concern and compassion and love, and he smiled. He knew now where Ray got those traits. "I'll try," he said quietly.
"You'd better." Ray smiled at him and squeezed his arm, then briskly turned towards the TV set, flicking it on. "And now, it's time to further your education. We're going to watch the Cubs whomp the Giants."
"All right." He squinted at the screen. "Ray?"
"Yes, Benny?"
"Which ones are the Cubs?"
"They're the ones who are a little less blurry."
"Ah. Thank you."
"No problem." Ray finished adjusting the picture, then leaned back in his chair to watch the baseball game with his friend.
THE END
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