RATED PG
Alliance legally owns these characters, and I make no claim to them by writing this story. The story is for entertainment purposes only, and no profit will be made.
I MADE IT THROUGH THE RAIN
It was raining in the city of Chicago, a cold, fierce, pouring rain that soaked though your clothes in mere seconds; but Ray Vecchio barely noticed it as he walked numbly through the streets of the city.
He was too busy cursing himself, and wondering how he had managed to so completely screw up his life in such a short amount of time. He loved Benny, and had for a long time. For months now had been trying to gather the courage to tell him, hoping that maybe by some small miracle Benny felt the same way about him.
Then tonight, they had been in Benny's apartment, and Benny had sat Ray down, saying he had something important to tell him. And Ray had sat there in utter astonishment as Benny had stammered out his own confession of love. For him. Benton Fraser actually loved Ray Vecchio.
When his most cherished dream came true any normal man would give thanks, be overjoyed, and embrace the miracle. But Ray had done none of those things. He had frozen. He had freaked. Jumping to his feet, he had blurted out "Benny, I've gotta go," and rushed from the apartment, ignoring Benny's pleas for him to stay and talk about it.
Ray walked along the nearly-deserted streets wondering what the Hell was wrong with him. He had dreamed, literally dreamed, about Benny telling him he loved him; he wanted Benny more than he had ever wanted anyone or anything in his life.
And when that opportunity had presented itself, he had turned and run. Just what was he so afraid of, anyway? Before, he had been afraid that Benny would reject him, that things wouldn't work out. And now- now he was afraid that things would work out. The reality, the possibility that things could work out for him and Benny scared him. There was so much that could happen, so much he could lose. Being with Benny would change his life completely. Did he really want that? Was it worth the risk?
Oh, God... Ray stopped and leaned back against the brick front of a store. It was worth it. It was. He wanted a life with Benny. He wanted to spend every day and every night with him, share his life, the highs and lows, to revel in the good times, and triumph in overcoming the bad times. He wanted to sit with Benny when they were both old and gray and look back on a lifetime of memories shared together.
But he had blown it. He had screwed things up completely. Benny had opened up his heart, his life, to him, and he had run out on him, without explanation or apology. What was he supposed to do now? Go back and tell Benny "I'm sorry. I screwed up. I got scared and ran."
Yes, Ray realized, that is exactly what he was supposed to do. Pushing himself away from the wall, Ray headed back towards Racine Street at a run.
Ray walked down the third floor hallway of Benny's apartment building trying to get his breathing- and his emotions- under control. He opened the door of 3J and stepped inside, nervous as to the reception he would receive.
Benny was sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at his folded hands, in almost the exact position he had been in when Ray left.
Benny looked up at the sound of the quiet footsteps, and Ray caught his breath. Ben was too surprised to have his guard up, and Ray caught a brief glimpse of the pain on his face before the blank mask fell into place. Ray also noted that Benny's eyes were reddened. Oh, God, had Benny been crying? He had made Benny cry? Ray felt his heart fall to his feet.
"Benny," he said quietly, breaking the incredibly tense silence, "I'm sorry."
"Don't, Ray." Ben's voice was so low that Ray had to strain to hear it. "You don't have to apologize. You can't help how you feel."
"You're right," Ray agreed, "I can't help how I feel. And Benny, the truth of it is- I love you."
Ben looked down at his lap, shaking his head. "Ray, don't. You don't have to say that just to try to make me feel better."
"What?" Ray said in disbelief. "You think I'm telling you I love you to make you feel better? Come on, Benny. I'm your best friend, but I'm not that good a friend."
Benny looked back up at him, confusion and hope both showing on his face. "Then why..."
"Why did I run like Hell when you told me you loved me?"
Ben nodded silently.
"Because, I'm the world's biggest coward."
"Ray, that's not true," Ben defended him automatically.
Ray smiled and knelt in front of Benny. "Well, I sure as Hell was a little while ago. I don't know, you told me you loved me, and I panicked. Every fear and insecurity I have suddenly rose to the surface.
"But Benny, I do love you. I am in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you still want me."
"If I still-" Ben whispered, and then his voice broke. He reached out to hold Ray's face between his hands. "Ray, I have been in love with you for years. Do you really think that would change in less than two hours?"
Ray just stared up at him wordlessly, and Ben stood up, drawing Ray to his feet. "I love you, Ray," he whispered, then kissed him.
Ray leaned into Benny, wrapping his arms around him and enjoying the kiss. Benny's lips felt so warm, so good, so right against his. He moaned softly in frustration as Benny pulled away.
"Ray," Ben said, frowning, "you're shivering."
"What?" Ray blinked, confused at the sudden change in mood. "It's okay Benny, it's just-"
"Come here," Ben said, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.
Benny was in his stubborn, not-going-to-take-no for an answer mode now, and Ray sighed and followed him.
"Take those wet clothes off," Ben said, then headed into the bathroom.
Ray peeled his sopping wet clothes off and let them drop to the floor, shivering in earnest now. Ben came back into the room and handed him a large towel, and Ray rubbed the towel over himself briskly, trying to dry off and warm up.
When he was done, Benny handed him a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Ray saw the logo on the sweatshirt, and looked up at Benny with a grin. "RCMP?"
"It's all I have," Ben answered with a shrug and a smile.
Ray quickly slipped into the sweatpants, then moved to pull on the sweatshirt. When he had the sweatshirt about halfway over his head, he stopped for a moment, breathing deeply. The shirt smelled of laundry soap, and a faint scent that was unmistakably Benny.
Ray smiled and pulled the shirt on the rest of the way, and turned to see Benny smiling at him. "Better?" Ben asked.
"A little better," Ray said. He drew Benny into his arms. "A lot better," he said. He tilted his head so his lips were mere centimeters from Benny's. "Perfect," he whispered, then kissed Benny.
He parted Benny's lips and slipped his tongue inside, and a tremor ran through Ben's body. Ray pulled away with a smile. "Benny, you're shivering."
"So it would appear," Ben said. "Do you have any suggestions for stopping it?"
Ray laughed out loud. Benny was teasing him! The uptight, upright Mountie was teasing him, and flirting with him. He could definitely get used to this. "I once heard that shared body heat is the way to go."
"That sounds like an excellent plan," Ben nodded. His face was solemn, but his eyes were twinkling.
Ray sat down on the bed, pulling Benny down alongside him, then laid them both down on their sides so they were face to face. "Now let's see if I can help your shivers," he said; and pulled Benny into a kiss.
THE END
I Made It Through The Rain - Barry Manilow
We dreamers have our ways, of facing rainy days, and somehow we survive.
We keep the feelings warm; protect them from the storm, until our time arrives.
Then one day the sun appears, and we come shining through those lonely years.
I made it through the rain. I kept my world protected.
I made it through the rain. I kept my point of view.
I made it through the rain And found myself respected by the others who got rained on too, And made it through.
When friends are hard to find, and life seems so unkind, sometimes you feel afraid.
Just aim beyond the clouds and rise above the crowds, and start your own parade.
'Cause when I chased my fears away that's when I knew that I could finally say-
I made it through the rain I kept my world protected
I made it through the rain I kept my point of view I made it through the rain And found myself respected by the others who Got rained on too
And made it through