First of all a very big TYK to GypsyDee for her support and encouragement. She also helped me with a research question, but I fear I still may have taken a liberty. Any errors are mine and not hers.
This story is rated PG for an implied but not graphic at all m/m relationship and a couple of bad words.
Oh, and the sap content in this one is exceedingly high. If either of these things are icky to you, turn back now.
These characters do not belong to me, they belong to Alliance. No copyright infringement or harm intended; and no money will be made from this story.
This story is dedicated to my Mom, the single most amazing person I have ever known in my life.
MOTHER'S DAY
Ray Vecchio awoke with a start. He rolled over and looked at his lover. Fraser was moving restlessly and mumbling in his sleep. Ray sighed, worried.
Benny had not been sleeping well for about a week. He woke up from dreams almost every night, and although he told Ray that he fell back asleep quickly, Ray doubted it. Ben had seemed drained the past few days, and he had developed dark circles under his eyes. And he had slept through the alarm that morning, something he had never done in all the time that Ray had known him.
Ray shook Ben gently, and Ben awoke with a slight gasp. Ray tightened his grip on Ben's shoulder. "You OK, Benny?" He asked quietly.
"Yes."
"You were having another dream."
"I know." Ben sighed and ran his hand over his face. Ray wrapped his arms around Ben, and Ben rolled over and rested his head on Ray's chest.
"Was it a nightmare, Benny?"
"No; it was a good dream."
"The same one you've been having all week?"
Ben nodded against Ray's chest.
"Benny, why would a good dream make you loose so much sleep?"
Ben sighed but didn't answer.
"Benny?"
Finally, Ben answered quietly. "It was about my Mom."
"Oh, Benny..."
"She's been on my mind a lot lately, Ray."
"Yeah, Benny, I guess she would be." Silently, Ray cursed himself. Mother's Day was less than a week away, and he hadn't even made the connection.
"Tell me about her, Benny."
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything."
Ben raised himself up onto one elbow and smiled down into his lover's face, barely visible in the dim light. He trailed a finger lightly over Ray's cheek.
"She really would have liked you, do you know that?"
Ray felt a smile cross his face. "Really?"
"Absolutely." Ben leaned down for a quick kiss, then moved to lay next to Ray. "Mom was... smart. And caring; and strong. And very loving." Ray took Ben's hand into his own and squeezed it gently.
"She was also pretty protective of me. That really used to bug Dad." Ben laughed softly, and Ray bit back the comment that rose to his lips.
"I remember one time," Ben continued "I was probably five years old. I fell and cut my knee open. I ran back to the cabin, crying. Mom cleaned up and bandaged my knee, then she was holding me on her lap and comforting me. It was summer, so Dad was there; and I remember he told her that she was treating me like a baby. Mom just looked at him and said 'He is a baby, Robert.'"
Ray laughed. "Good for her! Your Mom was great, Benny."
"Yes, she was." Ben agreed quietly. Ray brought Ben's hand up to his lips for a brief kiss.
"And after she died..." Ben drew a deep breath. "Everything got... confusing and scary. We moved to my Grandparents' cabin, and then Dad went away. And my Grandparents... They loved me Ray. They did."
"I know they did, Benny." Ray said softly.
"They just... they weren't physical or affectionate people. They thought their job was to raise me right; show me right from wrong, educate me. And it was."
"Yeah, but Benny, they should have balanced that out a little. God, would it have killed them to give you a hug once in a while?"
Ben shifted uncomfortably. "Ray..."
Ray sighed. "What about your Dad?"
Ben actually laughed. "No, Dad wasn't very big on hugging. He was raised by the same people, you know." His voice had taken on a teasing note.
"Jesus." Ray said. He pulled Ben into his arms and hugged him fiercely.
"Ray..."
"Benny, just shut up and let me hug you."
"All right." Ben snuggled happily against Ray's chest.
Ray ran his fingers lightly up and down Ben's back. "You still miss her, don't you?"
Ben nodded. "She was the most important person in my life, Ray. Most of the time it was just the two of us. I remember the last Mother's Day that she was alive. I wanted to get her something nice, but we were miles from any town and I didn't have any money anyway. So I went for a walk on Mother's Day, and I picked her some flowers. Heather, which grows wild in the Yukon in the spring. I snuck into the cabin and got some leftover Christmas ribbon from the box in the bedroom. Mom saved everything." Ben laughed again. "So I tied the flowers up with a green Christmas ribbon and gave them to her." Ben's voice trailed off.
"And?" Ray prompted.
"And she loved them." Even though Ray couldn't see him, he could hear the smile in Fraser's voice. "We didn't have a vase, so she put the flowers in a mason jar and tied the ribbon around it. She told me it was the best Mother's Day present she had ever received."
"That's wonderful, Benny."
"Yes. It was just a few months after that that she died. All of a sudden, she was gone. I felt so alone. I know I wasn't, not really, but... I was lonely."
"Oh, Benny." Ray whispered, his throat tightening.
"It seems so unfair sometimes, Ray. There is so much of my life she should have been there for, but wasn't."
"I know, baby."
"Usually it's easy not to think about it; but lately... It seems every TV commercial, every newspaper ad, every sign in every store window is talking about Mother's Day, and it's hard. Sometimes it hurts just as much as it did back then. It's stupid, I know. I mean, it's been thirty years, I should be over it by now."
"Benny, stop it!" Ray spoke more harshly than he had intended. "She was your Mother, for God's sake! And you were practically still a baby when she died. I don't think you ever completely get over something like that."
There was a harsh sigh from Ben. "No. I guess you don't." He sounded near tears.
Ray began gently stroking Ben's hair, wishing there was something he could do or say to make Benny feel better. He could think of nothing, though, so he just lay there, holding Ben and feeling completely helpless. He felt Benny slowly relax in his arms, and figured he had fallen asleep.
Ray shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position, and Benny started. "Ssssh, it's OK, baby. Go back to sleep." Ray whispered, stroking Ben's back.
Ben snuggled closer. "I love you, Ray." He mumbled sleepily against his chest.
"I love you too, Benny. And I'm here. I'm here with you Benny, and I'm not going anywhere."
Ben tightened his arms around Ray's waist, and soon Ray could tell from his deep, even breathing that Ben was asleep.
Ray, however, was wide awake. His heart was aching at the thought of all the hurt and unhappiness Benny had gone through as a young boy. He also felt more than a little anger towards Benny's Grandparents and his Father.
Ray briefly wished that he had a time machine so that he could go back and give them a good shaking or knock some sense into them. A lonely, vulnerable six year old boy, who had just lost his Mother, had been turned over to their care. How could they not have known that he needed extra attention and love? How could they not see what they were doing to him? Benny had learned at a very young age to hide his emotions, to bury them deep inside.
It was a lesson he had learned very well, to the extent that even with Ray, his lover, he was unable to open up completely. God, he'd been having dreams about his Mother for almost a week, and he had been afraid to tell Ray because he thought it was a sign of weakness.
Ray sighed, his anger giving way to sadness. He lay there for a long time, softly stroking Benny's face. Suddenly, Ray grinned. Fraser had fallen in with the Vecchio family now. If that didn't teach him how to deal with emotions, nothing would. Ray closed his eyes and fell asleep, smiling.
The next evening, Ray and Fraser went to the Vecchio home for dinner. Ray headed towards the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway, watching his Mother prepare the meal. Rosa looked up and saw him and smiled.
"Hello, Caro."
"Hi, Ma." Ray crossed the room and enveloped his Mother in a long, warm hug. He pulled away and smiled at her. "I love you, Ma. Very much."
"I love you too, Raimondo." She looked at him closely. "Is everything OK?"
Ray smiled. "Of course it is, Ma. Does something have to be wrong for me to tell you I love you?"
"No. And don't you forget it."
Ray grinned at her, and then his expression softened. "It's just sometimes I'm reminded of how lucky I am." He hugged her again.
This time it was Rosa who broke the embrace. "Where is Benton?"
Ray grinned again. "He's involved in an unfortunate hostage situation in the living room."
Rosa laughed. "Oh, yes. The children were very excited that their Uncle Benton was coming to dinner."
"Uncle Benton?"
"Well, it seems that he is better at playing horsey than you are, Caro Mia."
"Geez! Even my own nieces and nephews like Mounties better!"
"Don't worry, Ray. You're still better at telling bedtime stories."
"Really?"
"So I hear."
"Cool!"
Just then Ben walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Benny. You managed to escape?"
"Yes. I promised the children that their Uncle Ray would wrestle with them after dinner."
"You what?"
Ben just gave him his best innocent smile.
Rosa laughed. "Hello, Benton Caro."
"Hello, Rosa."
Ben gave her the obligatory kiss on the cheek, and Rosa hugged him. She pulled away and looked carefully into his face. "Benton, are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Fraser said in some surprise.
Rosa reached up to caress his cheek. "You look so tired. You're so pale. Are you getting enough sleep? Raimondo, aren't you taking care of him?"
"Ma!" Ray was indignant.
Ben smiled. "It's not Ray's fault. I'm OK. I haven't been sleeping that well lately, but I'm fine."
"No you're not." Rosa declared.
Ben looked at Ray for help, but his lover looked suddenly amused.
"I think you should take a nap before dinner." Rosa told Ben.
"Oh, I don't think..." Ben started, but Rosa cut him off.
"Nonsense! Dinner won't be ready for almost two hours. There's plenty of time for you to have a nice nap."
"But really, I'm..." Ben broke off as he felt a sudden yawn coming on; and he tried desperately to fight it back; to no avail.
Rosa just looked at him for a long moment, then took his hand. "Come, Caro."
As she led him from the kitchen, Ben gave a last pleading look at Ray, but his lover just stood there grinning at him. Ben threw a glare over his shoulder before following Rosa from the room.
Rosa led Ben into the guest bedroom and over to the bed. She turned down the covers and then looked at Fraser. "Are you going to sleep in your clothes?" She asked, smiling.
Ben looked down at himself.
"You should take off your pants and shirt, Caro." Ben blushed furiously, and Rosa laughed. "Relax, I am leaving."
She smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Pleasant dreams, Benton."
Rosa left, and Ben stripped down to his boxer shorts and t-shirt, then slipped into bed. He sighed as he pulled up the covers. He had to admit that he was feeling very tired, and the bed felt good.
He closed his eyes and relaxed into the pillows. From downstairs he could hear the muted sound of voices and the occasional burst of laughter, and the clink of dishes and pots and pans as Rosa continued with her dinner preparations. Ben smiled. He felt... comfortable. Safe. At home. He closed his eyes and drifted towards sleep.
From far away, Ben heard the sound of the bedroom door opening, and he drifted a little towards wakefulness. He heard someone crossing the room; and at first he thought it was Ray. But the steps were heavier than his lover's. Then he smelled a familiar perfume. Rosa.
She stopped next to the bed, and Ben thought vaguely about opening his eyes or saying something to Rosa, but it was too difficult to fight through the thick haze of sleep.
He felt the covers lifted and re-arranged, then tucked more securely around him. There was a brief pause, and then he felt a strong, gentle hand brushing his hair back from his face; then the hand moved to his face and began stroking it softly. This touch was different than Ray's. Ben realized that he hadn't been touched like this in... a very long time.
Rosa spoke softly. "Li amo, il mio Figlio." A soft kiss was placed on his cheek, and then he heard footsteps move quietly back across the bedroom; and the door open and close.
Ben felt tears stinging the back of his eyelids, but for once he did not consider it a sign of weakness at all.
It was Mother's Day morning, and the Vecchio house was even busier than on a usual Sunday morning. Rosa's children and grandchildren had served her breakfast in bed, and the kitchen showed it.
The children had absolutely refused to let Rosa do any housework, and she was currently in a very unaccustomed position for her- relaxing on a Sunday morning.
Ray stood in the kitchen watching the barely controlled chaos, and grinned to himself. Maybe it was fortunate for Benny that he wasn't here to see this. Fraser had been invited to spend Saturday night and have breakfast with the family this morning, but he had declined, not wanting to impose on such a personal family event. Ben was, however, going to Mass with the family, and would be arriving at the house soon.
Ray went to the living room to check on his Mother, and he found her straightening knick-knacks on a shelf. "Ma!"
Rosa jumped. "Raimondo! Don't scare your Mama like that!"
Ray grinned at her. "Guilty conscience?"
Rosa let the remark slide. "How is the kitchen looking?"
"It looks like all the damage is repairable."
Rosa sighed and raised her eyes heavenward in a brief prayer.
Ray held up a florist's box. "Here, Ma, let me help you with your corsage." He pinned the bouquet to her dress, then stepped back to admire her. "I have the prettiest Ma in the world."
"Oh, Raimondo."
"Well, at least you'll be the prettiest one in the congregation." He kissed her on the cheek.
Before Rosa could reply the doorbell rang, and Ray went to answer it. It was a deliveryman with another box from the florist, and Ray took the box to his Mother.
"More flowers? You children spoil me."
Ray shook his head. "They're not from me, Ma."
Rosa opened the box and lifted out the blossoms inside. She gasped slightly. "Heather! How lovely!"
Ray turned sharply to look at the flowers, knowing suddenly who had sent them. He noticed that they were tied with a green ribbon, and his eyes filled with tears.
Rosa opened the card and read it, and suddenly she had tears in her eyes, too. Wordlessly, she handed the card to Ray. He looked at it and read the words "Happy Mother's Day. Love, your son Benton." Ray cleared his throat vigorously and looked at his Mother, at a loss for words.
Just then Maria entered the room, but she paused in the doorway, eyeing her Mother and Ray. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes, Cara. Everything is wonderful. Could you get me a vase, please?"
Maria glanced at the flowers and smiled. "Sure, Ma."
Rosa was just finishing arranging the flowers in the vase when the doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it." Ray said. He opened the door to find his lover standing there. He pulled Benny into an embrace and kissed him deeply.
"Ray!" Ben said, starting to blush.
Ray took his hand. "Get in here." He smiled. He led Ben into the living room.
When he saw the vase of flowers, Ben hesitated, feeling suddenly shy and uncertain. Rosa beamed a smile at him and held out her arms. "Come here, Benton."
He crossed to her, and they hugged for a long time, Rosa whispering in Ben's ear. Ben nodded and finally broke away. Both Ben and Rosa had tears in their eyes, and Ray was suddenly fighting back his own emotions.
Frannie came into the room. "Are you guys ready? It's time to leave for..." She broke off, looking between her Mother, Ben and Ray. Frannie rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, this family is so emotional."
Ray grinned at her and grabbed her and hugged her. "You've got that right, baby sister!" He planted a noisy kiss on the top of her head.
"God, Ray! Cut it out!" Frannie pushed him away, but she was laughing, and secretly she felt pleased.
"Are we all ready to go?" Asked Rosa.
"Yes, Ma." Answered Fran.
Rosa looked at Ben, and he smiled at her. "Yes, Ma." he said.
"OK, then." Rosa smiled back, and Ben headed off to church with his family.
The End
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