A Suitable Gift By Jill Weber Part 1 of 3 Disney characters copyrighted by the Walt Disney Corp. and used without permission. The villains are mine and not to be confused with any other person, living dead or fictional. In spite of, or perhaps because of, the bitter cold, there was a small crowd around the steps. The building the steps lead to was nothing much to look at, its walls were crumbling and the roof was half gone. A casual observer might not have understood the reason for the crowd's interest. The man in the shadows was not a casual observer. He knew what was going on: Princess Jasmine was giving clothing and blankets to the poor of Agrabah. However, he did not understand why she was doing it, it seemed like a waste of time and money. So he watched to see if he could figure her out, after all, she was going to be his bride someday. This doesn't make sense, Princess," the bright red parrot squawked from the girl's brown clad shoulder. "Even you can't afford to clothe everybody in Agrabah! Why even try?" "Iago, I have to do something!" exclaimed Jasmine as she handed a coat to a thin, shivering girl. "I have so much, and they have so little." She handed a cloak to a stooped woman holding a squalling baby. "Besides, it's a fair trade-- they get a warm feeling outside, and I get a warm feeling inside!" The parrot flapped his wings and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right, get philosophical, it's easy for you... your warm! And I suppose it's a coincidence that this gets you away from that Prince Wazzoo," he sniggered. "Iago, the scarves?" Jasmine reminded him pointedly. "And why would I want to get away from Prince Wasim? The trade agreements he's come to talk to Father about will bring more jobs to Agrabah." "But more jobs means less poor people, and less poor means less warm fuzzies for you," Iago mocked. Then he added: "Besides, he keeps drooling on your feet." Jasmine looked at her new green boots. "That's why I bought some waterproof boots," she giggled. Then she shook a finger at the parrot. "Now, stop trying to get out of work, Lazy-Feathers." "Yeah, yeah," Iago muttered. He flapped over to a basket and snagged a bright red and yellow scarf and handed it to a street urchin. "Here ya go, kid. Who cares if its ugly? Beggars can't be fashion critics." The boy took the scarf with a shy smile, then ran off to rejoin his mother, who was waiting to get shoes. "Here you go, ma'm," Aladdin said in a subdued voice, handing her a pair of soft boots. "I think these should fit." He smiled tiredly at the boy with the new scarf and handed him a pair of shoes. "I don't think we have any more boots your size," he said. "But these should keep your feet warm." The boy eyed the shoes dubiously. "I know," Aladdin said. "I prefer to go barefoot myself, except in weather like this!" he looked at the sky and shuddered. Then he coughed. "'Scuse me," he said to the boy. After a few minutes thought, the boy took the shoes. Aladdin spent a few moments wondering if he'd actually wear them, or if he'd sell them. Then he forced himself to pay attention to the task at hand. Iago gave Aladdin a sharp look, then went back to handing out scarves. It was late afternoon when, after many glances around, Iago handed out the last scarf from his basket. But he hesitated before getting another basket, then he flapped over to Jasmine's shoulder. "You ever hear the saying "Charity begins at home?" he said in a quieter tone than normal. Jasmine chuckled, looking at him sideways. "Really, Iago, you can't tell me you're cold under all those feathers!" "I'm not talkin' about me, kiddo, I'm talkin' 'bout blue boy over there," Iago's voice went even lower, as if showing concern was something he was ashamed of. Jasmine looked around and frowned. "Don't be silly, Iago, Genie's not here. He's gone to visit Eden, the Genie of the bottle. Eden's little mistress has started school, you know." "Yeah, yea, I know," Iago snapped. "Genie and Aladdin have been bragging about that street mouse's... er... Dondi's getting that scholarship so much you'd think they were her uncles or something. But Genie isn't the blue boy I'm talkin' about, I meant uh-LAD-din, you know, your boyfriend?" Jasmine frowned at him. "Don't be silly, if Aladdin was cold, he'd tell... me..." her voice trailed off uncertainly as she really looked at Aladdin for the first time that day. He really wasn't blue... he was more greyish-brown, almost the same shade as his disreputable coat. He looked as cold as the people he was handing shoes to. But while the beggars also looked excited, Aladdin just looked...cold. "Yeah, su-u-ure he'd mention it," Iago sniped. "Aladdin, are you all right?" Jasmine asked, half expecting the answer she got. "S-sure, I'm f-fine," Aladdin insisted, pretending to be very interested in the basket of shoes. Abu, who had been handing out warm hats from his perch on the magic carpet, bounded over to Aladdin and clambered onto his master's shoulders, scolding at Aladdin and shaking his clenched paw. Jasmine put her hands on her hips, cocked her head, and gave him an "Oh, really?" look. "Abu, Jasmine, I-am-perfectly-all-right," Aladdin tried to look indignant, but only managed to look cold. "Now, will you stop fooling around? It's getting late and we have all this clothing to give out." Jasmine looked at the baskets of clothing and frowned. She estimated that it would take a couple more hours to hand all this out. Much as she wanted to help the poor, she didn't want Aladdin to kill himself. "I wish Genie were here," she muttered. "He'd get this stuff distributed in a wink." In response to her wish, Carpet swooped down, scooped up all the baskets, then flew down the line of paupers, tossing clothing out with all four tassels. It wasn't quite a blink, but the clothing was distributed much faster than it would have using the old method. "Geez, why didn't you do that sooner?" said Iago, wrapping his wings around him and shivering. "Nobody asked him," Aladdin defended his Magic Carpet. Jasmine took hold of his arm, cursing herself for not noticing sooner how weary he looked or how threadbare his coat was."You're freezing," she said. "Why didn't you say anything? We could have given you one of the coats." Carpet floated up, dusting off his tassels. "Good work, pal," Aladdin said. To Jasmine he added: "There are so many other people who need those coats. Besides, I'm fine. All I need is something to eat." Jasmine cupped her free hand around Aladdin's chin. "Don't be like this, why won't you let me give you a coat?" She pulled at his chin so he'd have to meet her eyes. Aladdin resisted, looking at the ground instead. "I... you've already given me plenty of clothes," he protested weakly. "I don't like accepting gifts from you when I have so little to give you in return." (He also hated her taste in clothing, but didn't think it was advisable to say so.) "Aladdin!" Jasmine said in fond exasperation. "Gift giving isn't a contest, and it's not a business transaction. I don't give you things because I want you to give me things back! I give them to you because I want you to have them! You should just accept them graciously." Aladdin snorted. "Like the way you accept Wazzoo's gifts?" he asked with a sardonic smile. The man in the shadows hissed angrily. "How dare that street rat take my name in vain!" Prince Wasim growled under his breath. He moved closer, so as to record any further insults for future reference. He didn't notice that he was no longer alone in the alley. "That's different!" protested Jasmine, thumping Aladdin on the chest with her fist. "If I accepted any of Wasim's gifts, he might get the impression that I liked him... the way I like you. Giving him false hope would be rude wouldn't it?" "Well..." Aladdin said. "On the other hand, if you continue to refuse to accept my gifts, I might decide that you aren't really interested in me!" Aladdin's eyes went wide and his voice went up. "Jasmine, you know I... mrrph..." It was impossible to finish his sentence with Jasmine's mouth pressed against his, so he gave up and leaned into the kiss, shifting his arms to encircle Jasmine's waist. Carpet folded his tassels underneath him so his 'chin' was resting on his 'hands'. He loved mushy stuff. Carpet was the only member of the audience who did. Abu made a 'eeeewww, yuck, cooties!" face and Iago flapped around the young lovers, fussing: "Oh, for crying out loud! Why does it always come down to the lip-wrestling? Don't you two have any sense of decorum?" Reluctantly, Aladdin pulled away from Jasmine enough to hiss out of the corner of his mouth: "Shut up, Iago, this is the first time all day that I've been warm." "Ah-HA! I knew it! You are cold!" Jasmine said triumphantly. She yanked on his arm and hauled him onto the carpet (in both senses of the phrase). "I'll bet you don't even have a shirt on under that flimsy excuse of a coat! If you won't have any consideration for yourself, think about me! What would I do if you caught your death of pneumonia?" "Jasmine, I..." "Home, Carpet!" she ordered imperiously. "Aladdin has an appointment with the royal tailor." Carpet gave her a thumbs (tassel?) up sign and 'ffwwwiiished' off in the desired direction. "But Jasmine..." protested Aladdin, who had visions of another sissy suit like the last one she'd given him. Prince Wasim didn't hear the rest of the protest. He came out from the alley where he'd been lurking and scowled after the magic carpet and its passengers. "How dare that... street rat bandy my name about is such a familiar fashion!" he snorted indignantly. "OOoooo, if that Princess Jasmine wasn't so beautiful... or her father so rich... I'd just... take my trade agreement elsewhere. Gah! I have to get rid of that Aladdin, somehow." "Do you wish Aladdin dead, your highness?" a voice cackled from behind him. Prince Wasim whirled and found himself confronting a withered old hag, dressed in the tattered remains of clothing that looked older than Agrabah and she smelled like she hadn't bathed since the city had been founded. "I what's it to you, witch?" he demanded, (she had to be a witch, no one else could smell like THAT!). "I have something in common with you," the Hag hissed. "A desire to see Aladdin suffer. The street rat once stole some fruit from me... rare fruit that I needed for a spell, fruit that I risked my life for... and he fed it to his MONKEY! I want revenge!" "Then why don't you get it for yourself?" Prince Wasim asked snidely. "I lack opportunity!" the Hag said. "I cannot get near him without his Genie sniffing me out." ('Who needs a Genie to sniff you out?' wondered Wasim, but, in an uncharacteristic fit of self-preservation, he said nothing. Not even princes can insult witches with impudence.) "So you need me to approach Aladdin... and take the blame," Wasim sniffed. "Blame? For what? All you need to do is give the lad a present. Where's the blame if something you buy in the market is... dangerous?" "The blame is with the merchant," Wasim smiled. He didn't trust this hag, but he figured if push came to shove, his word would be taken over hers. "It's agreed then," he said. "Not yet! You haven't said if you want Aladdin dead or not," the Hag said. Wasim rubbed his neatly trimmed beard and thought it over. "No, I don't want him dead. I just want him out of the way for a long time, so I can win the Princess. I want to see the expression on that street rat's face when Jasmine marries me! " The Hag smiled, showing green fuzzy teeth. "Exc...ssss...ellent," she hissed. "That is so much worse than anything I could think of. Besides, I can't kill anybody." "Why not?" "It's a witch thing. Now come along and I'll tell you what you need to do." Aladdin managed to convince Jasmine that he really needed a good meal. But all during the meal, Jasmine kept talking about clothing. She'd even emphasized her point by going off for a few minutes and changing into a warmer pair of pants and a long sleeved, off the shoulder top. (Aladdin couldn't figure out how that top would keep her warm. Not that he was going to complain, it sure kept him warm!) As soon as Aladdin finished eating, Jasmine grabbed him by the arm and began hauling him (with Carpet's assistance, Carpet had liked that last outfit) down the hall towards the Palace Tailor. "Jasmine, really, I'm fine now!" Aladdin protested, still trying to avoid another overly pretty, sissy suit. He had a vivid memory of how Abu, Iago, Genie had laughed at him. Even the sand monster that had kidnapped Jasmine had laughed at it. "I don't need you to buy me a suit! I can have Genie make one for me when he gets back from his vacation!!" "No you won't," Jasmine said. "You don't like accepting presents from Genie, either. Every time he offers you something nice, you start with the 'I promised myself I would never misuse your powers' routine." "I just don't like to misuse his powers," Aladdin explained. "I'd rather take care of myself. But I promise, I'll get some new clothes as soon as he gets back." Jasmine and Carpet exchanged considering looks, then decided 'Nah!' at the same time and began hauling on his arms again. "You might catch pneumonia before then!" Jasmine said. Carpet liked Genie, but had little faith in the rambunctious blue one's taste. So he kept pushing for the Palace Tailor. Aladdin looked around for help, only to see Abu, his faithful sidekick of many adventures, laughing himself sick. Iago was turning blue under the feathers from laughing so hard. Obviously, both of his 'faithful sidekicks' remembered the last suit. For a brief moment, Aladdin considered rubbing the lamp... but interrupting the Genie's romance to get out of getting a new suit didn't seem fair... or safe. Besides, Genie would probably just laugh at him, too. Aladdin tried digging his heels in, but Carpet, tired of the struggle, swept him off his feet and wafted him off to The Tailor of Doom. Jasmine gracefully hopped onto Carpet and silenced Aladdin's protests by the simple expediency of sitting on his chest. Abu jumped onto Carpet to laugh in Aladdin's ear. Aladdin gave him a 'and who's side are you on, furball' glare and squirmed, but it looked like he was really going to get that new suit. "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Jasmine said. "You need to learn to accept gifts graciously. Besides, you'll look so..." Carpet jolted to a halt, knocking Jasmine from her perch. Aladdin took advantage of the distraction to roll off Carpet. Once on his feet, he whirled to see what had stopped Carpet and found himself facing Prince Wasim. "Oh, hi," Aladdin said, pushing his hair out of his eyes nervously. Wasim staggered back a step, frantically trying to keep his pile of packages from falling out of his arms. Aladdin jumped forward and helped steady the stack. "Princess Jasmine! How good to see you again!" Wasim said. "And Aladdin, my young friend, how are you doing?" Aladdin and Jasmine exchanged glances. For some reason, Wasim's effusiveness struck them as being forced. Almost like he was covering up something... probably the fact that he really didn't like Aladdin, they decided. "Um, I'm okay," Aladdin said, scuffling his boot like a schoolboy. He really hated it. Every time one of Jasmine's rich and cultured suitors showed up, he felt unclean and uncouth and began to wonder what Jasmine saw in him. (A question that puzzled many other people, as he well knew.) "How are you?" he added, somewhat belatedly. "I'm quite well," Wasim said. "I was visiting your charming market place and picked up a few gifts." Carpet made stairs so Jasmine could step gracefully to the floor. "Prince Wasim, I appreciate your kindness, but I've already told you..." Jasmine stopped when Wasim held up his hand. "Now, Princess, you are jumping to conclusions, these presents aren't for you, they're for your friends!" "For us?" Aladdin and Iago chorused. Abu squeaked out something that sounded like 'for us?' Carpet pointed to himself, though he was sure he wouldn't get any presents. (What do you give a carpet, anyway?) "Certainly, let's find a place to sit down and I'll show you," Wasim smirked. For a moment, Jasmine and Aladdin felt queasy, as though one of the villains they had fought was setting them up for something. Then both decided that they were letting their imaginations run away with them. The five adventurers exchanged looks and shrugs, then Jasmine led the way back to where they'd been eating. Everyone except Jasmine and Carpet took advantage of their surroundings to start snacking. Jasmine's appetite was not as large as Aladdin's, much less as large as Abu and Iago's. "So, what did you get?" she prodded curiously when it looked like eating was going to shove thoughts of presents out of everybody's mind. "Oh, right, the presents," Wasim said, as if they'd been pushed from his mind by the food. He started digging through various baskets and bags and handing wrapped boxes out to the others. Iago was given a pair of red and blue booties designed to keep avian feet warm. "Hey, these are nice," he said, looking at his feet with admiration. "And they go so well with my feathers!" Abu received a hooded jacket embroidered with bananas. He squeaked out a thank you and tipped his hat to Wasim. Carpet got a lint brush. "It isn't much," Wasim apologized. "But I couldn't think of what else to give you." Carpet gave a few experimental brushes, then bowed his thanks. "And for you... Aladdin, my friend..." (Wasim almost blew by choking on his words. He covered by pretending to choke on a date.) After swallowing half a glass of water, Wasim continued. "I have a very special gift for you." And he pulled out a suit. It was nothing spectacularly fancy, just a wool, medium green tunic and pants, with some sort of design in black at the hems. Carpet was heartbroken. It was looked like Aladdin wasn't going to get that suit from the royal tailor. Aladdin wouldn't have normally accepted a gift from a rival, but this beat a sissy suit from the royal tailor! "Thank you, Wasim!" he said with genuine gratitude. "It's just what the princess ordered." "Mine would have been nicer," Jasmine muttered sotto voce to Carpet, who 'nodded'. "Oh, good," Wasim said. "I do so hope you'll wear it soon." This was the first sincere thing he'd ever said to Aladdin. "Good idea," Aladdin said. "I think I'll go change now." Aladdin spoke with enthusiasm. Not even the Royal Palace had what Genie called 'central heating', and though it was warm in this room, bundling up seemed like a good idea. "And Princess, if you will please allow me to give you a token of my affection...?" Wasim asked. Jasmine thought she had Wasim's motives figured out now. If she didn't accept the 'small token' of his esteem, Aladdin might feel obliged to refuse his present. And, though she wanted to see him dressed up fancy, it was more important to her that he dress warmly. And if Aladdin liked this plain suit more than one of the royal tailor's lovely suits... she finished the thought with a mental shrug. Who could figure men out anyway? "Why, thank you, Prince Wasim," she said graciously. She opened the package. "Oh, Wasim! This is no 'small token'! You shouldn't have!" And she meant it. The diamond set in the gold pendant was as big as a walnut. Dazzled, she picked up the gold chain and held the diamond up to the light, making it glow like a miniature sun. "Please, Princess," Wasim said. "It was the only thing I could find in your market that even came close to matching your beauty." Jasmine blushed. "I... it's the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen," she said. "Thank you, Wasim." And she immediately began planning on what to give Wasim. It had to be worthy of the diamond, without being something... romantic. She didn't want to lead him on. Then, a little nervously, Jasmine shot a glance at Aladdin, wondering if he would be jealous that Wasim gave her such a fabulous gift, or if he'd be embarrassed that he could not match it. She needn't have worried, Aladdin was too busy gawking at the gem to feel either emotion. Aladdin's spellbound expression was mirrored by Abu and Iago, reminding Jasmine her friends were reformed thieves (well, Iago and Abu were semi-reformed). She could just see little abacus disks shuttling in their minds as they calculated how much they could fence it for. Except Carpet, who was neither an ex-thief nor calculating rates. Instead, he swooped around the room agitatedly. 'Perhaps he was still upset about the suit,' speculated Jasmine, with a mental apology for lumping Carpet amongst the 'thieves'. Her gaze returned to the diamond, so she didn't notice Iago whisper something into Abu's ear. "Allow me," Wasim said, apparently not noticing how the others had been turned into drooling idiots. All attention was glued to the diamond . "Why, thank you," Jasmine said. She knew she shouldn't accept such an expensive gift, but she just couldn't resist. (Ex-thieves weren't the only ones who could be enchanted by beautiful jewels.) Aladdin's gaze followed every movement of the diamond until it came to a rest against Jasmine's warm brown skin. Then he realized exactly what part of Jasmine's anatomy he was starting at. He 'eeped', jerked upright, stepped back a pace, and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Um, Jasmine..." his voice trailed off as his brain refused to supply any more words. Jasmine folded her arms, tapped a foot and glowered. "So, what, exactly, are you dazzled by?" she asked in a "come up with the right answer fast, boy, it's almost Rajah's dinner time" tone of voice. "Uh," Aladdin hesitated. 'What would Genie do in a situation like this?' he wondered. Something dazzling, he decided. Not being able to do any of Genie's magic tricks, Aladdin decided to try another way of dazzling. He bowed low and said passionately: "The combined beauty of you and the diamond completely overwhelmed my senses, My Princess." Then he straightened and his big brown eyes met her big brown eyes in a look that would have melted a polar ice cap. Jasmine, not being anywhere near as cold as a polar ice cap, melted into his arms. "Nice save," Iago said, then squawked and fluttered his wings in disgust. "Aw, geez, do we have to make with the tongue tussling!? We got company you know!" He flew around the room, molting copiously on the happy couple. "Oh!" Jasmine said, breaking away and blushing. She'd completely forgotten about Prince Wasim, which really isn't any way to treat the man who just gave her a diamond worth enough drachma to clothe... half of Agrabah? She looked at it speculatively. Well, maybe not half, but the right buyer would certainly give enough money to clothe a lot... Oh, no! Now she was thinking of fences! "Um, sorry, Wasim," Aladdin was saying. "I guess we got carried away." Wasim waved his hand as if it were of no importance. "Not at all, I don't blame you a bit. Though I must admit I wish I were in your place, young man." 'Young man!' thought Aladdin with a mental snort. 'Oh, well, it's better than the perpetual 'BOY' everybody keeps calling me.' "Do try on the suit. I so want to see how it looks on you," Wasim urged, as if the only thing on his mind was seeing his friends enjoy their new gifts. "Oh, right, good idea," Aladdin said. "You can change in the guest room," Jasmine said, taking him by the arm. "Excuse me, Prince Wasim, but it's much too cold for Aladdin to go back to his quarters tonight. So he's staying over in his usual guest room." "I am?" Aladdin asked bemusedly, only to get a royal elbow in the ribs. "You are," Jasmine informed him, twisting his arm behind his back. "Of course, my princess, I will see you later," Wasim bowed gracefully and laughed to himself. "We'll be right back, Prince Wasim, and thank you again for the lovely necklace," Jasmine said, muscling Aladdin out of the room, followed by avid monkey, a greedy parrot and an anxious Carpet. Part 2 of 3 Aladdin changed quickly and dutifully displayed how well the new suit fit. (Well, it was a little large, but that just gave the Palace Taylor a chance to show off his skills.) After the suit was fitted properly, it was time to eat again. The Sultan dutifully admired the suit, though privately he thought the Palace Taylor could have come up with something nicer. The discussion turned from suits to shopping, which turned to a spirited discussion of trade possibilities between Wasim's homeland and Agrabah. This discussion lasted well into the night and only broke up when the Sultan pleaded his age and went off to bed. Jasmine excused herself as well, so the younger men also went to their assigned rooms. Jasmine felt guilty about sleeping in the diamond necklace, but she couldn't resist. It was so beautiful that she wanted it to be the first thing she saw in the morning. But when she woke up, it was gone. "You're sure you had it on last night?" Rasoul, the Captain of the Palace Guards asked. Jasmine folder her arms and gave him such a LOOK. "Eh, of course," said the oversized, over muscled guard, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, much as Aladdin had done the previous day . "And you searched your entire room." Jasmine nodded. Rasoul's right hand man, Fazal, eyed the breakfast on the Sultan's table wistfully. "Maybe it's stuck in your hair?" he asked, thinking if he figured out where the bauble was, he might get something to eat! "I thought of that," Jasmine said. "So I combed my hair out... twice." "Did you look in the Street Rat's room?" Rasoul asked snidely. Jasmine's eyes widened and she straightened up and gave Rasoul a 'Off With His Head' glare. (And when a princess gets THAT look in her eye, it's time to start worrying.) "Now, Rasoul!" the Sultan scolded, pushing away from table. "I know you don't like Aladdin, but there is no need to blame him without cause!" "Without cause!" Rasoul exclaimed. "He's a thief!" "He's reformed!" protested Jasmine. "But, Princess, only a few people knew you had the necklace, and the only way into your room is through the corridors, past the guards... or through the window. Not many people can sneak into a window at the top of a tower! Besides, if he isn't guilty, why hasn't he come down to breakfast yet? He has almost as big an appetite as Fazal here." "Ra-soul," the Sultan said, acquiring the same 'Off With His Head' glare that Jasmine was wearing. (When a sultan gets THAT look in his eye, it's time do more than worry, it's time to change your tune... at least, within the Sultan's hearing.) "Well, you know what that monkey of his is like," Rasoul said, making placating gestures. "And that parrot! Perhaps one of them took the gem and Aladdin is trying to figure out how to return it without getting them into trouble. Perhaps I should ask... politely... for his help, then if one of his pets did take it, he can give it back and we'll all pretend it didn't happen." "What if neither Abu nor Iago took it?" Jasmine asked. Rasoul shrugged. "Then perhaps his genie could help us find a flying thief." Rasoul and Fazal went to Aladdin's room to 'ask politely'. They burst into the guest room and found Aladdin still in bed. So they turned the room upside down, searching his clothes, the furniture and even tore through the bed with Aladdin still in it. They ignored the screeching monkey and the cursing parrot and the fluttering Magic Carpet. But they didn't find the diamond. "He could have flown it somewhere last night," complained Fazal. "We're just wasting our time." He didn't add 'when we could be eating', that went without saying as far as he was concerned. "So, boy, what do you have to say for yourself?" Rasoul demanded. Aladdin didn't answer and Rasoul finally looked at him. The Street Rat was sprawled limply across the ravaged bed like a discarded toy. Nobody could have slept through that search! Nobody could have even pretended to sleep through that search! It finally dawned on them that something was amiss. "There's something strange going on," Rasoul said. "What gave you your first clue, Rocket Scientist?" barked Iago. "The fact that not even you imbeciles could wake the kid up? Or the fact we've been trying to tell you that something's wrong since you got here!? Get the royal physician! Move it!" Rasoul scowled. "I have to recover the Princessess' diamond first. If either of you have it, turn it over now and I'll forget where I found it." The 'if' was a concession that he may have been out of line. "DIAMOND!!" squalled Iago at the top of his not inconsiderable lungs. "The kid is DYING and you're worried about a stupid DIAMOND?" "Dying?" Jasmine cried from behind the guards. "What... get out of my way!" she demanded, plowing into the room. Normally she did not throw her weight around with the guards, but right now she was glad that she had that weight to throw around. "Out! Both of you! Rasoul, summon the royal physician!" Rasoul, who had a feeling he was treading between the bread line and the royal executioner, decided that this was not the time to argue. He waved Fazal back to his regular duties and rushed off to fetch the royal physician. A few minutes later, he heard a ' ffwwwiiishing' sound and saw the magic carpet pace him. Carpet gestured him to get on with a clenched tassel. Rasoul wondered why Carpet needed him... then realized the voiceless Carpet couldn't explain to the doctor what was wrong. Rasoul had never ridden on the magic carpet before, but this was no time to be squeamish. He jumped on and Carpet hustled him to the royal physician's. "Aladdin? Aladdin!? Wake up!" Jasmine sobbed, shaking Aladdin by the shoulders. Aladdin made no response, not even a groan. "Easy dear, you may injure him," the Sultan soothed. "Lay him down and let's get a look at him." Aladdin did not look asleep, though he didn't look dead, either. When the breathless physician arrived on Carpet a few minutes later, he was able to eliminate some possibilities. "Skin clammy. Breathing steady, but shallow. Pulse slow and steady. Pupils contracting evenly. He doesn't appear to be poisoned, or to have a concussion. It almost looks like internal bleeding, but not quite." Jasmine backed up a few steps and sat down on Carpet, who was hovering a few feet above the ground. "Oh, Carpet, what are we going to do?" Carpet rapped on the back of her hand with a clenched tassel and floated her over to the couch where Aladdin's new suit was lying. (Aladdin was sleeping in his old clothes. Sorry, ladies.) "What do you mean, Carpet ?" Jasmine said. Abu scrambled over her lap and yanked the Genie's lamp from under the tunic. "Oh, of course!" Jasmine said, snatching the lamp and rubbing it vigorously. There was a puff of air, accompanied by a blare of raucous music and a hail of confetti. "Hey, you interrupted Dondi's party! Somebody had better be dying..." Then Genie saw the too limp form on the wrecked bed. He swooped over and gathered Aladdin into his arms "Al! Little Buddy! I didn't mean it! Speak to me!" A few hectic moments later, all was explained. Genie augmented the royal physicians findings with a bunch of beeping, whirring, blinking gadgets Jasmine couldn't make heads nor tails of. "No head trauma, no internal bleeding, no poison, no allergic reactions..." was the comprehensible part of Genie's report. "Someone must have cast an evil spell on him," decided the physician. "You're right," Genie said, soberly for once. He one-finger zapped the bed back into order, then laid Aladdin down tenderly on the ultra clean, April fresh linen. "But who? And how?" The physician straightened up. "I'm going to look in my library to see if there are any useful spells." He looked at the Genie apologetically. "I know you probably have more knowledge on curses than my entire library, but I can't just sit around and do nothing." He scurried off before Carpet could offer him another ride. One lost meal was enough, thank you very much. The Sultan wrung his hands. "Jasmine, my dear," he said. Jasmine nodded. "I know, you have to run the kingdom," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "That's all right, I understand. I'll let you know if there's any change... or any way you can help." "Um, yes," the Sultan patted his daughter's hand and looked at Genie with tearful eyes. "Do you suppose it would help if I offered a reward for information regarding the curse? Or perhaps I should offer a reward for anybody who can cure Aladdin?" "It couldn't hurt," Genie said. "I think I can take care of it, but if I can't, we'd better start investigating other avenues right away." "Yes, very well, I'll post the rewards as soon as possible. And I'll be back as soon as I've dealt with Prince Wazzoo's er, Prince Wasim's trade delegation." He hurried off, determined to finish his foolish royal duties and get back to his important job... being his daughter's father... as quickly as possible. Genie took his head off and began to pace while scratching his top knot the way he'd pet a cat. "I think I'll start with Jafar's library." He said, screwing his head back on tightly. "That snake knew every curse ever uttered." He zapped himself into a hundred little genies (all wearing sweaters with patched elbows and bifocals) and dashed off to Jafar's hidden tower. (Still known as Jafar's tower, because nobody wanted to go near the place.) He came back within minutes shaking his heads. Then he poofed into one blue lug. "Sorry, I found too many sleeping curses, I don't know which cure to use. We need more information." Genie turned to Abu and Iago. "So, what happened last night?" "Nothing," Iago said. "We said good night to the Princess and Wazzoo, came to our room, cheated each other at Chinese checkers 'til bedtime. Then it was morning and Aladdin wouldn't wake up." "I guess I'll have to do some detective work." Suddenly, the big blue lug was wearing deerstalker cap, an Inverness cape, and had a chocolate meershum pipe clenched in his mouth. "It could be a verbal curse... but that would leave a trace." A large magnifying glass appeared in his hand and he peered about as if he'd lost something. Then he took the pipe from his mouth. "Nope, no curse traces. So, did you smell anything unusual last night?" he asked Abu and Iago. Abu and Iago shook their heads. Genie cupped his chin in a third hand that appeared from his chest (so he wouldn't have to put down the pipe or the magnifying glass). "Figures, if it were some sort of scent, it would have gotten you two, too. What did Al eat? Drink? Anything unusual? Take any medicine? Chew on a pencil? Get bitten? Bite anybody? Prick his finger on a spindle?" Abu shook his head again. Iago said: "He didn't put anything in his mouth the rest of us didn't eat." Genie curled his smoke under him and scratched his head with a fourth hand that appeared from his back. "Hmm," he said, chewing on his pipestem, then blowing a large bubble that transformed into a question mark. "What else could curses be transmitted through... words, incense, drugs, gems..." "Gems!" exclaimed Jasmine. "My diamond!" Genie jerked around. "What diamond?" he demanded, waving both extra arms plus two new arms around. "The one that Prince Wazzoo gave her," Iago explained. "He said he bought it in the market." "Diamond could be it, they're notorious for carrying curses, take the Hope Diamond for example, no, it hasn't been discovered yet, never mind, let's see this thing," Genie said, holding out a seventh hand that extended from his side. "It's gone, it disappeared from my room last night," Jasmine said forlornly. "I see, from a tower room," Genie said. He looked sternly at Iago and held out a eighth hand that appeared from the other side. "Come on, feathers, let's have the gem." "ME!" shrieked Iago. "Why am I always the main suspect! I'm the only shady character in Agrabah?" "No," Jasmine said. "But you are the only shady character who knew about the diamond and who could have flown into my bedroom. Please, Iago, this is important." "I'm tellin' you, I don't have it!" wailed Iago. "Don't you think I'd hand it over to you if I did? You think I want my friend... er... meal ticket... to DIE!" "Iago, who else knew about the diamond and could have flown into my room?" Jasmine asked. "I doubt Carpet would have stolen..." Carpet reached over her shoulder and dangled the missing diamond in front of her face. "CARPET?!?!" exclaimed the other four, loud enough to wake the dead, but still not loud enough to get a response from Aladdin. The Genie was so surprised that he poofed, making all his extra arms, and his Sherlock Holmes outfit disappear. "Carpet, why...?" asked a hurt and bewildered Jasmine, reaching for the gem. Carpet moved it out of reach just as Genie exclaimed "Don't touch that!" Jasmine's eyes went wide as she connected Genie's information that gems could carry curses to the uncharacteristic behaviour of the magic carpet. "Is this what cursed Aladdin?" she asked. "No," Genie said. "THAT is a Love Locket Number Nine!! A nasty little dickens with enough glamour on it to look like a gem, but it really looks like this." He poofed the magnifying glass back into existence and held it between Jasmine and the 'diamond'. Jasmine recoiled from the arthropodous locket. "Ycchh! I was wearing THAT?" she yelped. "Why didn't it do something to me..." her eyes went wide and her hand went to her throat. "Or did it?" Genie turned the magnifying glass on her. "Nope, you didn't have it on long enough. Good thing Carpet recognized it for what it was!" "Yes, thank you, Carpet!" Jasmine said, bending over and kissing the rug. Carpet did some 'aw, shucks,' gyrations and dusted the floor with one tassel. 'I don't believe it, if I'd'a done it, they'd all yell at me,' Iago griped. Then he yelled: "Could we get back to the business at hand? Unless you want to dump the kid for the rug." Jasmine blushed. "But if the diamond was a love spell, then what..." Jasmine and Iago both whirled. Abu jumped onto the couch. "The SUIT!" they all exclaimed. Genie swooped past them, to examine Aladdin's suit with the magnifying glass, then a microscope. "This is it. That thing's loaded with some sort of sleepy juice. Those runes on the hems are obviously a powerful sleep spell, one that's keyed to Aladdin so the juice won't affect anybody else. It's a good thing he didn't have it on for long!" "Then he isn't dying?" whispered Jasmine tearfully. "You can break the curse, can't you, Genie?" "Well, my powers aren't what they used to be, but I'll give it the old college try." The old college try didn't work, neither did the old university try, the old grad school try, or even the old trade school try. "I'm sorry, Jazz, but mixing magics doesn't always work," said Genie, between pants. "Our best bet is to find whoever cursed the suit and force him (or her) to cough up the anecdote, I mean, antidote." "But who...? Never mind," Jasmine said, replacing her 'poor helpless princess' tears with the 'Off With His Head' glare that had so disturbed Rasoul. "I guess we all know who it HAS to be. Carpet, Abu, take care of Aladdin. I have to see a man about a rat." "More like seeing a rat about A-lad-din," Iago muttered. Part 3 of 3 The doors of the audience chamber were thrown violently open, one of them half falling off its hinges in the process. Denizens of the twentieth century would have been strongly reminded of a wild west showdown. Jasmine stood at the front of a rough 'v' of grim looking characters, Iago rode on her shoulder. Genie was to her right and back a step and Rajah was to her left, also back a step. "Wasim!" Jasmine snarled. "What have you done to Aladdin?" "I don't know what you're talking about!" declared Prince Wasim. "Jasmine, what are you talking about," the Sultan asked in shock. "Prince Wasim is our guest!" "He poisoned Aladdin, and he tried to poison me!" Jasmine accused. "Don't be ridiculous!" Wasim blustered, pulling himself to his full height. "I had no idea that the necklace or the suit were anything other than what they seemed!" Rajah paced forward, snarling and slavering. Genie sprouted a scholar's gown and mortarboard (complete with tassel). He waved a scroll under Wasim's nose and said: "Now, in case you're so uneducated that you don't understand Basic Tiger, allow me to translate." He unrolled the scroll, and a picture of a tiger (who strongly resembled Genie) said: "If you're innocent, then how did you know it was the necklace and the suit that were the culprits and not, say, the food you ate last night?" "I... I..." Wasim sputtered, backing away. Jasmine did some snarling of her own, with some fist shaking for emphasis. "You take that spell off Aladdin or I will cut your heart out and feed it to Rajah... with a spoon!!" Her allies all looked at Jasmine in shock. "Why a spoon?" Iago asked, scratching his head. "Because it will hurt more!" Jasmine snarled. Genie *plinked* back into his normal er usual form and curled around Jasmine's shoulders. "Um, Jazz, leave the anachronistic references to me, okay?" Jasmine had no idea what Genie was talking about, but she didn't have the time or inclination to become enlightened. She advanced after Rajah, hands clenched at her sides and THAT look in her eyes. Wasim backed up until he was literally cornered and dropped to his knees. Rajah stuck his muzzle into the quivering Prince's face and made with his best 'Off With His Head' glare. (When a tiger gives you THAT look, don't bother worrying, just prepare to meet you doom.) "I... I don't know how!" wailed Wasim. "It was the old hag's fault! She made me do it! Oh, please don't let your tiger eat me! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!!" "Where is this 'old hag'?" Jasmine out-growled Rajah. "In the market," whimpered Wasim. "WHERE in the market?" Genie demanded. He wasn't fooling around now, he merely loomed. (Though admittedly, he added to the impressiveness of the Loom with a few discreet lighting effects.) "I'm not sure," quavered Wasim. "Where did you meet her?" Genie growled, out-growling both Rajah and Jasmine. (Face it, he's had several millennia to perfect his ominous growl. He had to do something to while away the time while trapped in the Cave of Wonders.) "Near that decrepit old building where Jasmine was handing out clothing to the poor." "That's PRINCESS Jasmine, to you, Wazzoo! Come on, guys, let's find this old hag," Genie snapped. "Sorry about the trade agreements, Father, but this slug just got onto my persona non grata list," Jasmine said. She grabbed Wasim by the collar and hauled him along like he was an especially annoying toddler. Iago tumbled off her shoulder and had to flap frantically to catch up. "Your father will be very disappointed in you, Wasim," the Sultan called after them. A few minutes ago, his father's displeasure would have been the most frightening thing in Wasim's life. Now that honor went to Princess Jasmine. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or a princess robbed," said Genie. He turned into a fiery steed (in tasteful shades of blue and lavender) and galloped after his party. Rajah started to follow, but the Sultan restrained him with a hand on his neck. "I'm sorry, Rajah, but you can't go with them. You'd likely start a riot in the marketplace. I'm sure they can handled this." Rajah gave a deep "I never get to have any fun" sigh and stalked out to the garden to sulk. The hunters made their way to the alley, where Genie turned into a giant (blue)bloodhound. "How can you sniff out anything in this crowd?" demanded Iago. "Not to worry," Genie said with great confidence. "Evil magic smell isn't easy to drown out, even in a crowd like this!" After an hour or so of sniffing (complete with several sidetracks to various butchers stalls and one hair raising cat chase), Genie stopped outside a dilapidated shack and turned into a giant arrow. The (flashing neon red) writing on the side of the arrow said: "This Way to the Evil Hag's Lair. No One Under Thirteen Admitted Without Parent." Jasmine was over thirteen, so she didn't fetch her father. She just kicked the door down and strode into the shack, absently hauling Prince Wasim behind her. "How dare you enter my home without knocking?" a wheezy, onion laden voice demanded. "How DARE you curse my boyfriend!!" demanded Jasmine in return. The Princess didn't flinch from the Hag's ugliness, or her smell. Wasim, however, began to look a little green around the gills. "You must be Princess Jasmine," snarled the Hag, shaking a fist at her. "That street rat of yours stole something from me, and he must be punished!" "Stole what from you?" Jasmine asked. She put her hands on her hips and tried her best/worst 'off-with her head glare', but it made no impression at all on the Hag. "He stole some magical fruit from me, Your Highness!" The Hag snarled, saliva dripping from the corner of her mouth. "Magical fruit that I risked my life for! And when I tried to get it back, I saw it get eaten... by his MONKEY!!" "Oh? What kind of fruit? And where did you get it?" Iago asked. "Maybe we can get some more for you." The parrot's tone of voice was politely curious and amicably helpful. In Iago, this usually meant that the parrot was feeling especially snide and obnoxious. "I... Never mind, it is not important now," the Hag backed away from Jasmine, and suddenly would not meet the girl's gaze. "What is important is Aladdin's being punished!" "I don't understand, if we replace the fruit, why would you need to punish Aladdin?" Jasmine was momentarily puzzled out of her hostility. She let got of Wasim's shirt. The prince staggered back against a wall and sat down. "Oh, I understand perfectly, Princess," Iago snarled, settling on the least unsound piece of furniture in the shack. He pointed a flight feather at the hag. "She doesn't want you to know that she stole the fruit in the first place!" "I did not steal it!" the Hag protested overmuch. "Then how exactly did you risk your life to obtain it?" Iago asked sarcastically. "And why did you never go back for more?" When the Hag was silent, Iago supplied his own answers. "You risked your life getting around the some guardian, didn't you? And now that the guardian knows you for a thief, you won't ever be able to get near him again." "How do you know all this stuff?" Jasmine asked, looking at Iago over her shoulder. "Hey, Jafar dragged me on zillions of stupid quests after some magic thingie or other. Trust me, nobody gives out or sells magic fruit. And you never find the stuff lying around, either. The only way to get it is to earn it or steal it. If she'd earned it, she could always go back and get more." Jasmine placed her hands on her hips and glared at the Hag. "So, you were going to kill Aladdin for doing the same thing you had done?" The Hag looked horrified. "I cannot kill! I'd lose my magic! I only put him into an enchanted sleep." Jasmine looked at Genie. "Is this true?" Genie turned into a giant contraption with flashing lights and a dial that said TRUE/FALSE. A little blue hand swung to the TRUE side, bells went off and the lights did a can-can. "Yes, she is telling the truth. Aladdin is only sleeping." Abruptly, the Genie poofed out of sight and a blue man clad in a blue trench coat appeared. "Awright, shweet-heart!" Genie drawled in what later generations would know was a credible imitation of Humphrey Bogart. "How can we remove this curse you've laid on our buddy?" "It cannot be removed by any means at my disposal, or that I have knowledge of," smirked the Hag. She waved to her herb laden shelves. "I have spent a lifetime acquiring these precious magical herbs and those priceless scrolls of spells. I was very careful to pick a curse that has no known antidote, so you can't force it out of me!" "Why don't we just have a look see for ourselves?" Genie suggested. There was a poof of smoke and Genie was wearing scarlet long johns with a gold lightning bolt symbol on his chest. He flashed around the room, peering into scrolls and bottles and cupboards. Finally he came over to Jasmine, poofed back into his usual self and shrugged. "Sorry, Princess, but she's telling the truth. There's nothing here to break that spell." Iago slapped his forehead. "Oh, great, so Aladdin gets to spend the rest of his life in La-La Land!" "Don't be silly, Iago, Los Angeles won't be founded until 1781." Genie, ignoring Iago's "I knew that" glare, pulled a blindingly fierce light from somewhere, holding the light so it shown in the Hag's face. "Spill the beans, shweet-heart," he demanded as a deluge of kidney, navy, coffee and jelly beans rained on the Hag's head. "Just how BIG is this Big Sleep you've zapped the kid with? For your sake, it had better not be one of those hundred year thingies!" "No!" Wasim cried. "I wanted Aladdin at my wedding, so I could gloat at him!" "That is right," the Hag said. "The sleep spell is only for as long as it would take Princess Jasmine to get over her heartbreak enough for the prince, aided by the Love Locket No. 9, to win her over." "And that was?" Genie prompted. "Thirty-three years." "Thirty-three years!" yelped Wasim. "She'd be OLD by that time!" "And you'll still be a fool," snapped the Hag. "Now be off! I'm a busy witch!" "I should have you arrested and thrown in the dungeon," sputtered Jasmine. "You can't, I've done nothing illegal," smirked the Hag. "There is no law against impregnating a suit with sleep magic." Jasmine hesitated, then realized the Hag was right. (Jasmine had been studying the laws of Agrabah back when she had been trying to get out of the 'must be married by her next birthday' thing.) There were no laws against dousing anything with sleep magic, or even any against giving sleep doused suits to people. There were laws against poisoning people, but she couldn't figure out how to make them apply to this case. Aladdin hadn't really been poisoned, after all. She decided that she and her father had better have a talk about laws pertaining to magic. "Come on, let's go," she said growled. She turned her back on Wasim and the Hag and stalked out of the shack with as much dignity as she could muster. "Whew!" said Wasim. "Don't look so relieved, Wazzoo," Genie said, getting a firm grip on the miscreant's collar. "There's still a matter of that "Anything" you would do to avoid getting eaten by Rajah. Genie hauled the perfidious prince after Jasmine. As he left, he pointed a finger over his shoulder and zapped the Hag's lifetime accumulation of rare herbs and scrolls into Hostess Fruit Pies and Betty Crocker cook books. (Written in English, an as yet Unborn Language.) "You thief!" screamed the Hag, shaking her fist in helpless fury. "But I didn't take a thing," Genie returned. "And there's no law against turning nasty magic herbs and spices into tasty, yet healthful, snacks. And these have real fruit filling!" He ignored the Hag's sputtering. None of her spells were strong enough to hurt even a merely semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic powered Genie. An hour later, Genie joined the others in Aladdin's room. "We have Wazzoo out there giving away large quantities of his trade goods to the poor of Agrabah," he reported. "The Sultan is sending a delegation to the Prince's father to complain about his behavior and explain what his punishment was. I don't think Wazzoo will get much in the way of a warm welcome when he gets home." "Thanks, Genie," sighed Jasmine. She was perched on the side of Aladdin's bed, holding his hand. Carpet was hovering at her side, alternately stroking Aladdin's cheek and wiping away Jasmine's tears. Abu was sitting on Aladdin's pillow, stroking the youth's hair. There were big tears dripping unheeded down the monkey's face. Iago was moving restlessly from perch to perch. "Come ON, are we going to spend the next thirty years like this?" he groused. "Is this what HE would do? NO! If YOU were the one in the enchanted sleep, he'd be out lookin' for a cure!" Iago fluttered to the bed and started pacing. "He'd be checking out every magic gizmortifrack this side of the Cave of Wonders! He'd at least try the (gag) True Love's Kiss routine!" Jasmine had been rubbing her eyes when Iago said this last sentence. She jerked upright, eyes going wide. "True Love's Kiss?" she repeated. "Of course, that's what breaks the enchanted sleep in all the fairy tales!" She stood up, bent over Aladdin and kissed him tenderly. Nothing happened. The others looked from Jasmine to Aladdin then back again in shock. "Humph," Iago said, disappointment lending a sharper-than-normal edge to his snideness. He snapped his wings shut and said: "So maybe it isn't true love, after all?" Carpet smacked him off the bed and into the wall. "It was just a suggestion!" Iago sputtered indignantly, prying himself out of the wall. Jasmine tried a more lingering kiss, with the same lack of result. She burst into tears again, grabbed Aladdin's shoulders and shook him. "Aladdin, wake up! Oh, PLEASE wake up!" She felt Aladdin jerk under her hands, then, blessedly, the next words she heard were his: "Huh? Whazzut? Jasmine?" She drew back and met Aladdin's blinking, befuddled gaze. "Jazz! You did it! You broke the spell!! You said the magic word!!!" Genie gave her a big hug, then disappeared into a puff of smoke. A large blue duck with a funny black moustache with a cigar in its mouth dropped from the ceiling and triumphantly held a HUGE sign that said: "PLEASE!" Then a funny little blue man with the same moustache duck walked across the bed saying: "Say the magic woid and the duck will drop down and spell will be broken!" "What?" Aladdin propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs from his brain. "What's going on? Why are you all in my room?" he asked. He didn't get an explanation, because everyone was too busy trying to hug him at the same time. It wasn't until much later, when the excitement had finally died down, that Aladdin got his explanation. They were sitting around the dinner table (Aladdin dressed in his new, not-too-fancy blue pants and white tunic from the Palace Tailor). The others were relating what had happened since Aladdin went to bed the night before. "...and it makes sense that the old hag wouldn't know THAT cure," said Genie. "I'll bet she never said 'please' or 'thank you' in her life." "I was in an enchanted sleep, again?" Aladdin said, again. He shook his head in wonder. Then he snorted and added. "Well, that will teach me to accept gifts from strangers." He grinned at Abu. "Stealing was much safer, right?" "Uh-ha!" agreed Abu, nodding his head so vigorously that his whole body vibrated, and a few spoons fell from his vest. Aladdin smiled and removed the rest of the stolen tableware from various hiding places. "No it isn't! Stealing is what got you into this mess in the first place," Jasmine said firmly. "Promise me, no more stealing!" Aladdin flashed her a grin. "I wasn't planning to steal anything anyways... except your heart," he added, giving her a melting look. Jasmine obligingly melted. "You don't need to steal THAT," she purred, snuggling up to him. "My heart is already yours... forever." She brought her face close to his as she spoke. "As mine is yours," Aladdin murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning forward. "Oh, for cryin' out loud! We're back to the do-it-yourself tonsillectomies again!!" squawked Iago. "Don't you two ever think of anything..." Iago's complaints were abruptly cut off as Carpet flick-kicked him out the nearest window. Then Carpet turned to watch dreamily as the young lovers kissed. Carpet just loved mushy endings.