Part Two 

Marita slept that night by her father’s side.  He often opened his eyes to look at his daughter, to make sure that she was still there.  He thanked God that she had not been here when the men had come.  He could only imagine what they would have done to her.  His mind flashed back to her mother.  She is so like her mother.  He remembered the first time he saw her mother.  She had this sparkle in her eyes; she was strong and yet so gentle at the same time.  The night that Marita was born, she had this other-worldliness about her.  She was ethereal he thought.   He promised not to let her death erase the image of her beauty.  He had gone to meet Ned in Kentucky and had come back to get Marita and her mother.  When he came to the house, all he could hear was Marita’s crying.  When he came into the house, he saw his little girl crouched next to this body.  When he came closer, he realized that it was his wife.  There was so much blood; Marita kept crying "mama" for her mother to wake up.
 
He instantly knew who had killed her and had gone off to get revenge. Luckily, Ned had found him in time before he could actually carry out his thoughts.  Ned simply told him that Marita couldn’t afford to lose two parents.  Images flashed of his wife’s face in his mind. It took him many years to sleep at night after that.  He used to go in and stare at his little girl in wonder.  They had let her live.  He never understood why they would take her mother and not her also.  He didn’t want to understand, but he thanked God that they didn’t.  She always seemed to be protected from these things.  That night and then tonight, some force protects her.

Isaac remembers a scare when Sean, who was ten at the time, was carrying his seven-year-old daughter into the Logan house.  She had fallen off her horse and broken a leg.  Both Sean and her were scared that either she wouldn’t walk again or that they would shoot her.  He remembers Sean’s young face looking up at him and saying, "Please don’t shoot her."  Sean said it with so much honesty and innocence.  For a minute, Isaac couldn’t understand why they could’ve thought such a thought.  Then he realized that their only experience with a broken bone was with horses, which are usually shot when they break a leg.  The relief in Sean’s face when Isaac explained that they don’t shoot people for broken legs was enormous.  The young boy gave him a hug and then went over to Marita and held her hand while they set her leg.

They had always been together. The two of them.  Perhaps, he should have seen it sooner that they would become romantic.  He remembered one time when Sean came home with a black eye from fighting with some other boys.  When Ned asked what the fight was about Sean said simply that they were saying mean things about Marita and he was defending her honor.  Sean had always protected Marita. Perhaps that was why he hadn’t noticed when their feelings had grown more serious.  He had always trusted Sean with his daughter.  He instinctively knew that Sean would never let anyone hurt his baby.  For whatever reason Marita left to see Sean tonight, he had again managed to protect her. Isaac just prayed that this fate would continue and the two would remain safe.
Isaac heard Sean crept in to check on the two of them.  He saw Sean come around the bed and look at Marita and then himself.

"Sean," Isaac whispered.

"Yes sir."

"Come here."  The older man ordered.  Sean obeyed.  "I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Keep her safe.  Whatever happens, promise."

"I would never let anything happen to her."

"I know, I just wanted to hear it from you."  Isaac smiled.  "Son, I approve.  I may not always act
like it.  It’s just, she’s my baby, and I don’t want anything to happen to her.  But I approve, I approve of you."

Sean just stood there motionless; he didn’t quite know what to say.  Finally, he nodded and simply said "Thank you."

Ned came up a few seconds later.  "Good morning Isaac.  How are you feeling?"

"Felt better."  He answered laughing at his old friend.  "Honey time to get up."  Isaac said to his
daughter who was slowly opening her eyes.

"Well, we are going to move you to our place in a little while.  Do you think you can stand it."

"Sure."  Isaac answered.

"It might hurt a little, the doc gave you some morphine.  Maybe you should take some."

"No."

Marita stretched as she heard their conversation.  "Pa maybe you should take some."  Isaac shook his head and Marita laughed at her father’s stubbornness.  She started to stand up.  It was only then that she realized the ramifications of the night before.  She actually hurt.  She cringed as she tried to stand straight up.  Sean saw her cringe and immediately tried to help her by placing his hands on her back.   Marita took a deep breath as she noticed that her father and Ned were both watching.  She would take the pain and act normal, she decided.  "I don’t think that I have slept in a chair like that for awhile now.  I must be getting old."  She laughed, attempting to cover up the true reason for her soreness.

Clay had brought the carriage to the house to bring Isaac to the house.  They had laid him delicately on his stomach.  Ned went with them to the house.  Leaving Marita and Sean to pack up some stuff.  When they were out of sight, Marita walked back into the house and sat down in a chair.  The tears started flowing.  Sean came over and knelt down beside her.

"It’s okay.  He’s going to be okay."  These were the only words that Sean knew could possibly help.

Marita looked up and smiled at his concern.  All of these emotions were flowing through her body and she didn’t know how to distinguish one from the other.  Until they came together in one fit of nausea.  Marita quickly got up and ran outside.  She threw up in the flower garden.  Sean stood behind her and rubbed her back trying to soothe her.  She stood up and walked quietly inside and got a glass of water.  She rinsed her mouth with the cool water and spit it out.  She looked at the glass in her hand.  The anger started to grow.  She looked at the glass and then threw it against the wall, shattering it into pieces that covered the floor.  She then fell against the cupboard and held her knees.  She started rocking back and forth crying.

Sean just watched as she crumbled.  He went to her and sat in front of her, so that she was between his legs.  He slowly moved forward holding her arms and calmly saying, "shh, shh, it’s okay." Marita finally looked up at him.  Her eyes met his and they stared at each other.  She then crumbled into his arms.  He held her tightly.  They rocked back and forth together.  He just let her cry in his arms.  Finally, her crying slowed and she looked up at him with her now swollen eyes.

"I hate them."  She whispered.

"I know, I do too."  Sean answered.

"How dare they?  What gives them the right?"

"I don’t know, honey.  I don’t know.  But they will pay.  I promise you that."

"Sean, don’t ever leave me, okay."

"Okay.  I promise.  Till death do us part."

"In sickness and in health."

"For richer and for poorer."  They quoted the sacred vows to each other, making a silent promise.  In their eyes they were man and wife.  "I love you Marita, always." Sean concluded.

"I love you too."  Marita said as she squeezed Sean tightly.  She didn’t want to let him go.

Sean kissed the top of her head and started to help her up on her feet.  "We need to get some stuff and go up."  Marita nodded her head.  He helped walk upstairs into her father’s room. Sean took a suitcase down, Marita added some clothes.  They then went into Marita’s room and added her clothes to the suitcase.  "We can come back and get more stuff later."

"Okay."  Marita answered as she walked down the stairs.  She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at the shattered glass.  "I should clean that up."

"No leave it.  I’ll come back later and clean it up."

The two walked out of the house.  Sean’s arm was wrapped around Marita.  She leaned on him for support.  The other arm held the suitcase.  They walked slowly down the road to Sean’s house.  Marita looked at the path with new eyes. It had always seemed such a safe road.  In her childhood, she used to run between the two houses with no cares in the world.  This was her world.  Now her innocent childhood had be smashed, no longer would she look at people the same way.

As they walked into the Logan house, the activity was a jolt to their senses.  Marita could hear voices. Sean led her upstairs into the guestroom.  He sat her suitcase down.

"Okay, we’re here."  Sean said, not knowing what to do next.

"Sean, I think that it would probably be best if we tried to umm.. If we didn’t . . ." Marita didn’t know how to finish her statement.  She looked up at Sean hoping that her eyes would describe her meaning.

Sean understood.  "Okay, no hand touching or anything, Got it."  He winked at her.  They had this understanding that was beyond the two of them.  "But if and when you need me I am here and no matter who or where we are, you can come to me. Okay?"

"Okay."  Marita smiled and kissed his check.  Sean wrapped her up in his arms, for one more hug.

Both tried to rejuvenate their strength from each other. Marita was the first to break the hug.  She stepped back and smiled up at Sean, he smiled back.  She then walked out of the room and down the steps.  She walked into the study.  Ned was talking to the sheriff.

"Morning, Ma’am."  The sheriff greeted Marita as she entered the room.

"Marita, have you gotten anything to eat?"  Ned asked.

"No."

"Why don’t you go and get something to eat.  I think Alice had the cook leave keep some food warm for you."

"Thanks."  Marita smiled and walked into the kitchen to get some food.  She knew that they didn’t
want to hear the conversation.  And actually that was fine with her.  She was tired.  Her head had been swarming all night.  The peace and quiet were comforting.

"Marita." Lexie said quietly.  She was standing at the doorframe, not knowing whether to come in or
not.

Marita just looked and smiled at the little girl.  She remembers the day that Lexie was born.  It was such a sad in the Logan house, she always wondered if that affected Lexie.  Lexie had always seemed to be the most caring and sensitive child in the world.

"Marita, Are you okay?"  Lexie walked in the kitchen a little bit more.

Marita just smiled at her and said, "Yes I’m fine.  Come here."  She beckoned and the girl followed.  Lexie put her arms around Marita’s neck and hugged her.  "Are you okay?"

The little girl just looked up and smiled, "I am glad that you weren’t hurt.  Do you think that your Pa is going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think he’s going to be fine."

"Why did those men hurt him?"

"I don’t know for sure, honey.  Some people are just mean and do mean things."

"Is it cause your colored?"

The innocence of her question amazed Marita.  With all the violence and speculations that had been going on, Lexie’s question seemed so honest. "Probably, some people don’t like colored people."

"Why?"

"Well, that’s a hard one.  I think some people are still bitter about the war and everything that came from it."

"But the war wasn’t your fault?"

"No, but when people are hurt they look for somebody to blame and a lot of people blame us for their losses in the war.  Do you understand?"

"Kind of.  I still don’t understand why they would hurt you.  But I am glad that they didn’t hurt you too.  I overheard Alice talking to Jeremy and they were saying that you could have been hurt a lot worse than Isaac was.  I am glad that you weren’t."

"Lexie, I don’t want you to worry about me.  My Pa is going to be fine and we are going to get the people who did this.  Nothing happened to me."

Lexie hugged Marita and said very quietly in her ear, "I love you."  Marita squeezed her even harder.

"Now do you want to eat with me?"

"I’m full.  But can I sit with you?"

"Yes, you may." Marita smiled.

The two of them sat there together.  Marita ate and Lexie told her about her lessons.  Ned had been standing in the hallway during the whole conversation.  He didn’t want to interrupt.  He smiled.  He peaked in the doorway and saw a scene that could make a father’s heart break.  He had always thought of Marita as part of the family.  He used to say that she was his niece.  Now she was sitting at the kitchen table with his, safe, while her father lay upstairs in pain.  His heart ached for the girl cause he could only imagine what was going on in her head.

Weeks passed and the Logan house slowly started returning to normal.   Marita kept to herself mostly.  She was either with her father keeping him company or she was downstairs working or reading.  She had tried to detach from everything that was happening.  She tried to keep her emotions in order.  Her father was slowly getting better.  He was now walking; he still needed help though.   They hadn’t caught the men, and her father wasn’t talking much about it.  Marita knew that Ned had gone into the Jockey Club and subtly talked about the incident.  He had told her about it. He said something in respect that he was angry because Isaac’s injury had cost him a lot of money.  He now had to use a man who had less experience to work for him.  Ned’s point was to try to show the distance between Isaac and him and to show the men that he had been financially hurt from the incident.  In hopes, that the men who did it would feel guilty or maybe start talking.  Nothing happened though.

"What are reading?"  Ned said as he came into the study.

"Just some book."  Was Marita’s answer.

Ned smiled at her answer and sat down in the couch opposite of Marita and took a book out and began reading.  She was distancing herself from everything, he thought.  She hardly ever leaves the house.  He knew that she was creating a wall for her protection.  But it was sad to see.  She doesn’t talk very much to anyone.  At dinner, she sits there politely and calmly.  But the second, the dinner ends she is the first to leave.  He was worried about her.  He knew that Sean was too.  He keeps seeing Sean trying to touch her on the hand or something and Marita shrugs him off.  He didn’t know what was going through her head.

Marita noticed that Ned was staring at her.  They were always staring at her, she thought.  Everyone was walking around on eggshells not saying anything.  The silence was making her crazy.  She tried as hard as she could to maintain her composure but she knew that she couldn’t keep it up long.  She was constantly afraid that she was going to snap.  She felt like a prisoner trapped in this house.  Yet she knew that she was the one who was creating the prison.  Every time she stepped outside, a wave of terror shot through her body.  At night, she dreamt of her father screaming in pain.  Last night she had dreamt that she was at their house and the men came.  They took Marita and her father out and starting torturing her father.  She escaped though and ran to the Logan house for help.  When she got there, Sean opened the door.  But he didn’t know her. He acted like she was this stranger; the distance in his eyes was petrifying.  Marita woke up nauseated.

I can’t stay here like this.  I can’t allow this fear to take hold of me, she thought.  She looked up at Ned and put her book down and walked out of the room.  She opened the front door and saw that nobody was out there.  So she carefully walked out of the house.  She started to walk down the lane to her house.  She walked by the fence like she had always done. She kept walking.  It was like she was in this dreamlike state.  She was outlining the fence of the Logan property.  Soon it became dark.  She didn’t know how long she had been walking.  She thought of turning back but she couldn’t.  She had to finish her walk.  She had to outline the Logan property.

Sean came back from town, a little later than normal.  When he came in everything in the house seemed normal. Something didn’t feel right though. Ned was sitting in the study writing something.  Lexie and Clay were setting the table for dinner.  Alice was in the kitchen helping the cook.  Jeremy and Isaac were sitting in the living room talking.  He didn’t see Marita though.

"Isaac, have you seen Marita?"  Sean asked.

 Isaac looked up and thought for a moment. "I think that she is in with Ned."

"Okay thanks."  Sean said as he walked back to the study.  "Pa, have you seen Marita?"

"No, not since this afternoon.  I think that she went up to her room."  Ned answered curiously.  Where was she?  He remembered her getting up earlier, but he didn’t remember where she had gone.

Sean ran up to Marita’s room but there was no sign of her.  He started to panic.  He ran to the kitchen and asked Alice.  She had no idea where Marita was.  He then went and asked Clay and Lexie.

"I saw her outside earlier.  She was walking by the fence."  Lexie answered.

"Which way was she going?"  Sean asked.

"I think towards her house."

 Sean didn’t even wait for her to continue.  He ran outside to the stable and got on his horse.  Something in his heart said that something was wrong.  Where would she have gone?  Why didn’t she tell anyone?  She had been acting so strange lately.  When he got too her house, he quickly jumped off and ran around looking for her.  She wasn’t in there.  When he got back to the edge of their property, he jumped off of his horse and looked around.  It had rained the previous day; maybe he could see her footsteps.  Luckily the moon was bright enough for him to see.  He saw one and then two, they were outlining the fence.  He started to follow them.

Marita heard horse hoofs behind her.  Fear struck her and she started running.  Sean could barely make Marita out, before she started running away.  He started calling out to her, but that only made her run faster.  Sean thought that maybe the horse was scaring her.  So he got off and started chasing her by foot.

She was so scared.  Marita had never run this fast in her life.  She was afraid to look behind her to see who was there.  She heard her name being called again and again. There was no where to go.  He was going to get her, she thought.  That thought terrified her.  She looked around for any kind of escape.   It was then when she noticed where she was.  She was at the area where the stream runs through the Logan property.  She remembered swimming here when she was younger.  Images flashed in her mind of that innocent time in her life.  Than a bloody image entered her head as she saw herself crouched over her mother’s bloody body, shaking her.  Tears started streaming down her face.  She had to hide, she thought.  She began to run into the stream.  She walked straight through it till the water was to her shoulders.  She could hear the man screaming at her.  She heard splashing, he was coming in.  Her survival mode was at full throttle. She ducked underneath the water.  She felt these two hands grab her.  She started thrashing around.  The arms were desperately trying to hold her.  The water was so cold she thought.  She was getting so tired.

All Sean could think about was this woman who he loved so much and how he couldn’t hold her.  He couldn’t get a good grip on her.  She was actually over-powering him with her thrashing.  The water was so cold.  She was trying to drown herself.  She was scared of him.  He was not going to let her go.  She kept going underneath the water; his feet were beginning to lose their footing.  They were getting near the part of the stream that was deep.  He finally got a hold of her arms.  He grabbed so tightly, that he knew he was hurting her.  Which only meant that she started thrashing more violently.  She was like an animal desperately trying to get away from her predator.  He knew that her instincts were in full.  He started pulling her towards the shore.

It was then when he heard Clay’s voice.  He found out later that the horse had walked back to the house and that Ned, Clay and Jeremy were out looking for them.  He heard Clay yell for his Pa and then jump into the water.  Clay grabbed Marita’s arm and helped bring her to land.  Sean picked her up and laid her on the grass.  She was shaking; her body was so cold.  He turned her over on her side and she spit up water.  Ned picked her up and started towards the house.  He yelled something to Jeremy and Jeremy got on his horse and ran towards town.  Clay helped Sean up and onto the horse.  Sean followed Ned.  Ned was holding Marita up, but she looked like a rag doll in his arms.
When they got to the house Alice and Isaac were standing outside.  Isaac saw his baby in Ned’s arms limp.  He started to run towards the horse.  Ned passed Marita to Isaac who was barely strong enough to hold his daughter.  Ned got off and Isaac passed her wet body back to him.  Ned went into the house.  When Sean came in, the two men were waiting outside the door.  Alice was undressing Marita.  Ned told Sean to go put some dry clothes on.  At first, Sean refused but then followed Ned’s advice.  When he got back the door was open and the doctor was in the room with Marita.

Sean came into the room.  He could see that Marita was not awake.  Her lips had this bluish tint to them.  The doctor was checking her pulse and then he looked at her eyes.  He came towards the door to talk to the men.

"Her body has had quite a shock.  Mostly we just have to wait for her to wake up before we can learn the extent of her injuries.  What we need to do now is keep her as warm as possible and try to keep her fever down.  We want to prevent her from getting pneumonia as much as possible.  She had swollen a lot of water, so she will probably be getting sick. Let’s hope that there is no water in her lungs, which is always a possibility.  So just try to keep her as warm as possible.  I will be back to check on her tomorrow.  If she wakes up before then, come and get me."  The seriousness of the Doctor’s tone scared everyone.

Sean walked over and pulled up a chair by the bed.  He took Marita’s hand in his own.  Isaac walked over and put his hand on Sean’s shoulder.  He then kissed Marita’s forehead and walked out leaving Sean alone.

"Hon, you have got to wake up for me.  Okay.  We need, I need to know that you are okay.  You scared me today.  I love you so much; you’ve got to know that.  You do right?  I don’t know what I would do without you.  You are my sanity, you know.  And you’ve been slipping away from me these past weeks.  When I couldn’t find you at the house my heart stopped.  When you didn’t recognize me as you were running into the stream, I felt so empty.  There is this hole in my heart without you.  I was scared.  I wasn’t going to let you go.  I was determined to hold on to you know matter what the costs.  You can’t leave me alone.  Not now, I won’t let you leave me, you hear.  You are not allowed to leave without me."  Sean sat there with tears in his eyes stroking her hand.
This is how they sat for a week; each person taking turns with Marita.  Sean usually stayed the longest and he was the hardest to get rid of.  They would each sit there holding her hand, like they had done with Ned when he had gotten hurt.  They talked to her about their memories or events of the day.

Each doctor visit got bleaker and bleaker.  She had fluid in her lungs, her breathing was labored.  Her fever hadn’t broken.  Her heart was straining and slowing.  She had developed pneumonia.  There was nothing for them to do but wait and see.  Everyone in the house felt so helpless.

It was Monday, now, over week since she had fallen in.  It was also about seven weeks since the incident.  The doctor had come for his daily visit.  While doing his physical exam, he discovered that her stomach had slightly swelled. This was odd since the rest of her body was slowly thinning due to her illness.  He had wondered why the food that they were giving her wasn’t keeping her weight up.  Ned was there during the exam this time.  He noticed that the doctor was disturbed by Marita’s stomach.

"What is it?" Ned asked.

"I don’t know.  Her stomach is slightly swollen, at least her abdomen is.  If I didn’t know better I would wonder if she was pregnant.  But she hasn’t a husband, so she couldn’t be, right?"

"No, she’s not married." Ned answered.

"Well, it could also be a female problem also.  But I am going to keep my eye on her.  Her fever has gone down though that is a good thing.  Well, I will be back tomorrow to look in on her."

"Doctor, thanks."  Ned said as he showed the doctor out.  Isaac met him in the hallway.

"How is she?"

"Her fever’s down.  But the doctor is still concerned that she hasn’t woken up yet."

"I think we all are.  Listen Ned, I wanted to talk to you about something.  Is there any money missing?"

"No, I don’t think so, why?"

"Well, I don’t know.  When I was getting something out of Marita’s drawer I found this envelope.  It has about $70 in it.  Now I know that Marita had about
$230 dollars in savings, but she didn’t have $70 and I can’t figure out where she would have gotten it from.  Usually, she gives me all of her wages for the family’s money. It just strikes me odd, that’s all."
 
"I don’t know, Isaac. There isn’t any money missing, we did the books over a month ago and everything was fine.  I did give her a raise though of $1.50 per week.  But I am sure that isn’t it."
 
"She didn’t tell me that she had gotten a raise?"

"It was a while ago, about four months, I think.  That could probably make up the rest of that money though."
 
"Yeah, it could.  It just doesn’t sound right.  It doesn’t sound like Marita to hide money from me."
 
"I am sure that it was nothing, maybe she was saving it up to buy something for you."
 
"Maybe.  Ned, there is something that we haven’t discussed since that night.  Do you know where Marita was?"
 
"She was at the house, like I told the sheriff."  Ned said.  He was slightly uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going.
 
"But she wasn’t here working with you, was she?"
 
"No."
 
"She was with Sean wasn’t she."  Isaac said slowly.
 
"I think . . .I think that you should talk to Sean about it."
 
"You said that you found Marita, where did you find her?’"
 
"Isaac, I really think that you should talk to Sean about this."
 
"We have been friends for a long time, Ned.  And personally right now, I want to hear it from you."
 
"She was in Sean’s room." Ned answered quietly almost ashamed to even say the words.  Ned looked at his old friend.  Isaac eyes simply dropped.  Both of them knew why she was there, but it just isn’t the kind of thing you, as a father, want to hear about your daughter.  No matter who the man is.
 
"Thanks, Ned.  I’m going to go to sit with her."
 
Ned watched Isaac walk up the stairs.  Ned hoped that he could forget the conversation, however the money was suspicious.  Ned walked into his study.  Sean was sitting at Ned’s desk working.  Sean looked up as Ned came in.
 
"How is she?"  Sean asked.
 
"Her fever is lower."
 
"That’s good."
 
"Um, Sean, would you know why Marita would be saving money?"  Isaac asked tentatively.
 
"No, why?"
 
"Isaac just found some money that she was saving and he thought it was odd."
 
"Nope, I have no idea what the money was for.  I am sure it was nothing."
 
"Yeah, that’s what I told him."  Ned hesitated; he didn’t know how to bring this up.  "Um, Isaac also wondered where Marita was when we, when I found her."
 
Sean looked up.  He looked seriously at his father, "And what did you tell him?"
 
"I told him that Marita was in your room."
 
"Oh."  Sean said half thinking about what that really meant.
 
"Sean, we have never talked about that night."
 
"Yeah."
 
"Sean, how should I put this?  Did you and Marita . . . I mean how close did you two get that night."
 
Sean looked up at his father in amazement.  He couldn’t believe that his father was asking him this.  "Do you want to know the truth?"
 
"I would appreciate it."
 
"Okay, truth huh.  Marita and I made love that night."
 
"I assumed that.  Have you two since . . ."
 
"No. But Pa, we did promise each that it was forever."
 
"I understand.  Okay next question, do you know anything about Marita’s schedule?"
 
"You mean her monthly time?"
 
"Yes."
 
"Pa!"
 
"No, there is a completely logical reason for me asking."
 
"All I know is that she is always on time.  I think it’s like the first week of the month.  She always gets really cranky before it comes, plus she eats a lot."
 
"So she would have already gotten it then?"
 
"You know, I don’t know.  I mean I can always guess when its here.  It’s weird I can’t explain it.  But I don’t think she has had it yet.  Why?"
 
"Because the doctor, well her stomach is a little bloated and the doctor was a little concerned.  His first instinct was that she was pregnant.  She hasn’t been gaining weight, no matter how much we feed her and he just thought it was odd.  But he disregarded it because she wasn’t married."
 
"She’s pregnant!"  Sean’s eyes were wide.
 
"No, I mean he doesn’t know, that was just his first assumption.  But she could very well be bloated or gaining water or something like that.  It’s probably nothing."
 
"Yeah, she’s probably just bloated.  If she thought she was pregnant she would have told me."
 
"I am sure that’s it."
 
"Who’s up there with her now?"
 
"Isaac."
 
"Good."

Isaac was sitting with his daughter.  She grew up so fast.  Suddenly she wasn’t his baby anymore.  She belonged to somebody else and knew that he would have to give her up.  He just wished that it could be easier for her.  That she had fallen in love with a man whom was black, so she didn’t have to feel ashamed or hide.  He knew that their love was pure and innocent, but he also knew that the world would pervert it to something else.  Tears were in his eyes.  Her life would be hard, Isaac knew that.  He only hoped that he raised her to be strong enough to handle it.  Isaac heard someone walk up the stairs.  He turned to look; Sean was walking towards the room.
 
"How is she?"  Sean asked
 
"She’s the same."  Isaac said as he wiped the tears out of his eyes.  Sean knelt down by the two of them.
 
"She is so beautiful when she sleeps.  So calm."  Sean said as he watched his lover sleep.
 
"When she was little, I used to watch her sleep, especially after her mother died."
 
"Isaac, how did she die?"

"Marita never told you."
 
"No."
 
"Do you remember when I first came to Kentucky?"
 
"Yeah, you stayed in this room."
 
"I had left Marita and her mother at our old house to start packing up.  Marita’s grandmother had been sick, so she stayed there.  We were in Georgia at the time and people were really angry about the war. Which is one of the reasons that we left.  Especially since I had fought for the Union with your dad.  Well anyway when I was gone, somebody must have come to the house.  Cause I found Marita’s mother dead.  She had been killed and they had just left her there.  Marita was two at the time and had just learned to say ‘Mama.’ She was sitting next to her mother crying and calling ‘mama.’  I don’t think she understood what was going on."
 
"They killed her."
 
"Yeah."
 
"Do you know who?"
 
"I thought that I did.  I started to go after them.  But your father stopped me."
 
"Why?"
 
"Because of Marita.  He was holding Marita and she stretched her arms out to me.  He told me that she couldn’t afford to lose two parents.  And he was right.  For some reason they had let my baby live and I couldn’t desert her.  She was all that I had left in the world and I was all that she had left."
 
Sean looked down. "And now I have brought you two trouble again."
 
"This world is trouble, Sean.  That’s what your father and I found out in the war. Not everything is black and white, not everyone is good or bad.  We raised you two together because we wanted you to see the world with different eyes. And you do.  The only problem is the world still sees the same.  We also didn’t ever think that you two would care so much for each other.  You didn’t bring trouble. Don’t ever think that."
 
"But it’s because of me, that you got hurt."
 
"You think that I blame you?"
 
"Don’t you?"
 
"No.  How could I?  I watched you grow up Sean.  I watched you when you were at your best and when you were at your worst. And I watched you fall in love with my daughter.  I knew what was happening between the two of you,  I just didn’t want to admit it.  I don’t blame you for what those men did to me.  In fact, I am thankful that Marita was with you.  I am glad that you bring her comfort."
 
"I haven’t lately."
 
"Marita hasn’t been herself lately.  I don’t know how to explain it.  I think that she is survival mode, you know.  She is distancing herself from the world for protection."
 
"Isaac, the doctor wondered if she was pregnant.  Because her stomach was a little enlarged."
 
"Pregnant," Isaac smiled at the thought of his baby having a baby, "it would probably be a little early to tell though."
 
"But do you think that could explain why she has been acting weird?"
 
"Could be?  Pregnant women do crazy things?  If she was that would actually make sense.  I’ve seen women run away from the best situations when they were pregnant, because they wanted to protect their unborn child.  But Sean, I think that if Marita had been pregnant, she would have told someone."  Isaac patted Sean’s shoulder and got up from the chair. "Here you sit with her for awhile."
 
Sean quietly sat in the chair next to Marita.  He took her hand in his hand like he had done so many times during the past week.  He calmly started massaging her hand.  He looked at her face.  She is so beautiful, he thought, I could look at her for hours.  She is heaven.  He brought his hand up to her face and started stroking her cheek.
 
"You remember when I was in college and I used to write to you.  It was weird, I didn’t miss anyone else as much as I missed you.  All the guys thought that you were my sweetheart.  I actually wrote you letters that I never sent.  I thought that you might think that I was obsessed or something.  That was always something that I couldn’t handle, I hated being away from you,  I hated not being able to share things with you.  Today, Lexie came up to me and just gave me the biggest hug.  She is getting so big, you know.  Remember, how you always used to worry that all of the sadness that happened the day Lexie was born would affect her in some way.  You worried that she would be a sad child.  I think that you were partially right, did I ever tell you that?  No, probably not.  I always used to disagree with you.  Anyway, she always seems to be so aware of the emotions that are going on in the house.  She is really sensitive to it.  She gave me this hug today and said that she missed you too."
 
"You know how much she is like Ma.  Ma was always so fond of you.  She loved you so much.  Maybe that’s where it came from.  You used to do these things that Ma thought were amazing.  You captivated her.  You captivated all of us.  I always used to get jealous because you and Ma would go off and be together.  I never was allowed to come.  When she died, I thought my world ended.  I was so in love with her. I think the first time that I actually thought that I could go on without her is when I saw you holding Lexie.  You had tears in your eyes and you were singing her to sleep, like Ma had done."
 
"I miss you Marita, I miss you so much. So you know you need to wake up.  I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.  So you need to wake up.  I don’t want to let you go I don’t know if I can let you go.  Do you know what I miss most about you?  I miss that look that you give me that would just give me such a sense of reality. One look from you could you put me in my place and you always knew that, didn’t you." Sean laughs, " You knew that you had that power over me. That I depended on you, I counted on your advice and good sense.  You know that right."
 
"Look at me, I am talking about you like you are already dead.  But your not, do you hear me Marita you can’t give up. I need you to fight; this family needs you to fight.  Alice tries to act like the matriarch but you know that she’s not.  We rely on you, honey.  You are the one who keeps us together.  We need you, Marita.  I need you.  You can’t quit, you hear me.  No quitting allowed."
 Sean just looked at her after all of this.  His face was red from crying.  He held her hand in his.  She was all that he had.  He put his head on your stomach and bent over to her ear.  He quietly whispered, "You remember those babies you saw in your eyes. We need to make those babies.  You need to give us some time.  We need time to make those babies."  He then placed his head next to hers and fell asleep.

 
Alice came in to check on her several hours later and found Sean asleep by her side.  She went to go wake him, but decided against it.  He needs to be near her she thought.  She needs to feel his presence.  Alice quietly walked out of the room and back downstairs.

 
Sean awoke later to movement beneath him.  He lifted his head.  He could tell that Marita was trying to cough or something.  He prompted her up with his arms.  Her eyes opened slightly with the pressure from her lungs.  She started coughing.  It was taking all of her energy.  He put a handkerchief over her mouth so she coughs into it.  She coughed up a lot of phlegm.  He laid her back down when she finished.  She closed her eyes softly, as she quietly smiled at Sean.  He was grinning, she had woken up.  He could hear that she was having problems breathing and she started stuttering coughs.  They weren’t as violent as the first one, but they were still annoying and were tiring.  Her eyes kept opening and closing.  Finally the episode ended. She opened her eyes and drowsily smiled up at him.

He brushed her cheek with his hand, "Hi, sleepy head."  He said smiling.

"Hi," she answered in a quiet, strained voice.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, how long have I been here." She asked half closing her eyes.

"Over a week."  Her eyes widened at the length. "Wait before you go back to sleep let me tell that you are awake."  She smiled in reply, "I will be right back."  He kissed her forehead and ran out of the room.

She could hear him flying down the stairs.  The next thing she knew her father was in the room and everyone else in the family soon followed.  Her Pa had this big smile on his face.

"Hey baby, welcome back."  She just smiled back at him.  Her eyes were drowsy.  "You're still tired aren’t you? It’s okay you can go back to sleep, but just for a little while, okay?"  Marita smiled at her father.  He always made her feel so calm and safe.  She loved it when he got tender.  He was always this semi-stern and strong man, but when he was around Marita he became softer.  She used to love crawling up in his arms while he sat and read the paper.  Everything about him made her feel loved.  His smell, the strength of his arms around her.  Her eyes closed, she felt his lips on her forehead as he kissed her back to sleep.

"Can I stay with her?"  Lexie asked.

"Sure, you can."  Isaac answered.  "I think we should get the doctor and tell him that she’s awake."

"Yeah, I’ll go do that, now."  Ned said.  Everyone slowly filed out of the room.  Except Lexie and Sean who stood there.

Lexie looked up at her big brother, "Do you want to stay instead?"

"No, but can I stay with you?"

"Sure, can I sit on your lap?"

"Of course."  Sean sat down in the chair and Lexie jumped onto his lap.

"Are you happy she woke up?"

"Yeah."  Sean smiled at his little sister, who had just put her arms around his neck.  She looked like she was settling in for the long hall.

"Were you worried that she wasn’t going to wake up again?"

"Yeah"

"You two love each other, right?"

"Where did you hear that?"  Sean looked at his sister.  The family hadn’t talked about his relationship with Marita.  He had actually wondered why they hadn’t talked yet.  He knew that they all probably knew what was going on, but they weren’t saying anything.

"I heard Alice and Clay talking.  But I already knew it."

"What were they talking about?"  Sean didn’t know whether he wanted to know or not and he definitely didn’t know if he wanted to make Lexie the squealer.

"They were just talking about it. I didn’t really hear much of what they had to say, but I just heard some stuff.  I like it, though.  I really like Marita and you two have always been so close.  I wouldn’t mind have her as my sister-in-law."

Sean had a feeling he knew what that meant, Alice and Clay would mind.  He had always worried about how the two of them would react to his relationship with Marita.  The thing was that he knew it had nothing to do with Marita, it was just how other would people would look at it.  He understood that.  Part of him accepted that too.  It was a decision that he had made that affects the whole family.  If you look at it that way it was a very selfish decision on his part.  He could have married Vivian and taken on that persona.  Then Alice would have had a great chance at a promising marriage and so would Clay.  Plus it would have helped the family business and the family name.  But he wouldn’t have been happy and his life would have been a lie.  He could not have lived like that.

He knew how dangerous their relationship was.  That was why they had been so careful and also why they had taken it slowly.  They probably got too comfortable with each other. The small moments when they were together had become too intense.  Sean knew that when they were apart that intensity had shown.  Looks had become erotic.  He was sure that other people must have seen it.  Which is how this whole thing got started in the first place.

In order for Marita and him to survive they had to be strong.  They had to truly believe in their love.  He knew that he did.  He knew that he would do anything to be with Marita.  But he also knew that there were things that he could not give to her.  He could never take her out to a party.  In public they would be seen as something unnatural. He knew that they would never be able to do what normal families did.  He knew that their children would have to fight and scrap for everything.  He would not be able to give them the privilege that he had known as a child.  Perhaps, this is what hurt the most.  To know that his children will be thought of as something less than.  He knew that he could only protect them for so long.  They would be brought into a world full of hatred.

These thoughts kept going through his mind as held his little sister in his arms. She had always been so innocent and yet so wise.  He knew that she didn’t understand the prejudice that Marita faced.  He didn’t even necessarily understand it either. But he definitely saw it.  He always felt bad when they were going to a party and Marita wasn’t coming.  Or when someone Vivian thinks that we are providing some weird type of charity, when Marita comes to our own parties.   It hurt him to know that little things separated the two of them.  If it wasn’t for Alice and Clay, he would bring Marita to those parties, but he knew he couldn’t.  Plus, he also knew that Marita would have felt uncomfortable.  He never liked for her to feel uncomfortable.

Sean closed his eyes and tried to forget his worries.  This was right, Marita and he were right.  He knew that he was strong enough to deal with the consequences, but he didn’t know if she was.
"Sean," Lexie whispered in his ear.  "The doctor is here."

Sean opened his eyes and squeezed Lexie who then got off of his lap.  Sean then stood up and let the doctor in.

"So she was awake for a little while?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah.  She started coughing and spit up some stuff.  Then she had a lot of small coughs.  When the
spell ended, she woke up more."  Sean answered.

"Do you think that you could wake her up for me?"

"Sure."  Sean kneeled next to Marita and quietly whispered into her ear.  "Marita, the doctor is here."  He calmly rubbed her cheek with his hand, until her eyes slowly opened.  She looked a little confused and then her memory caught up with her.  She looked at the doctor and smiled.

"Well it is good to see you up.  Did you have a nice sleep?"  Marita smiled at the doctor.  "Um, Sean do you think we could have a little privacy?"

Sean nodded and left the room.  He closed the door behind.

"Now let’s hear those lungs."  The doctor started his check-up.  "They sound a little clearer.  Your fever is down again, that is good.  How do you feel?"

"Tired.  It’s hard to breathe."

"Well that should pass.  Now that you are awake you can start eating better.  That should help with your strength.  You had a bad spell.  We didn’t know if anything else was wrong.  Other than the breathing and tiredness, how do you feel?"

"I don’t think that I broke anything.  My head hurts a little."

"Okay, good.  I think that you are going to pull through.  We worried about you for a while.  I need you to eat a lot and get a lot of liquid in you.  I also need you to keep warm.  No matter how hot you are put another sweater on."

"Doctor, before I got sick, I had skipped a month and I was worried that . . ." Marita couldn’t finish the statement.

"Well, let see.  Okay.  I had noticed the other day that your stomach was a little swelled.  Let see
how it is now."  The doctor smiled at the girl.  If she was pregnant she might have a reason to be a little timid about it.   "Before we do the physical exam, may I ask how far along you could possibly be?"

"I think that I would be almost two months."

"Okay, well let’s see."  The doctor felt her abdomen, which was still slightly swollen.  It was firm and tight.  Usually a good indication of pregnancy.  "Well, my professional opinion would be that you are pregnant.  Your sickness must not have hurt the baby, a strong one I’d say."  He smiled. "Do you want me to call your father in?"

"No."  Marita said her eyes were closed as she was trying to hold it all together.

"I’ll come back on Thursday and check on you.  Follow my advice, okay.  If there are any other changes, come and get me.  I won’t tell them about the pregnancy."  The doctor looked at this girl’s face.  She had been through so much already; he was amazed at how calm she was now.  He remembered her as a little girl; she had always been so strong and confident. "Marita, babies are not the end of the world.  Plus you are not alone.  The father should always be there to help you.  Okay.  Well you look good. I will see you later. Take care.  I’ll tell Sean that he can come in."

The doctor left and closed the door.  Tears started streaming down Marita’s face.  The door opened slowly and Sean came in.  Marita just stared at him with tears in her eyes.  Then a coughing spell started.  Sean rushed over and helped her.  When it was over, he just held her. She was crying softly as if she was mourning someone.

"It is going to be okay, you know that right.  I will be there.  No matter what.  We did this together.  Hey Marita, we created a child."  Marita looked up at him.  The amazement of a baby hit Sean.  He was going to have a child.  His child.  A large goofy grin grew on his face.  Marita just stared up at him.  She wished she could be as happy.

"A child who is not black enough and not white enough."  The sadness showed on Marita’s face.

"But this child, our child, will be surrounded by so much love.  It is a mixture of the two of us. All of the good and bad parts.  Our love created another life.  And before we let that life into the world, we will make him so strong that no matter what the world throws at him he can handle."

"You’re so optimistic."

"Why shouldn’t I be?"

"There are plenty of reasons, Sean."

"I know that there are, but I’m not unhappy.  You are awake, my one and only prayer has been answered and now we get this bonus, a child.  Do you know how lucky we are?"

"Sean, think about it. This is going to be hard enough on the both of us, can you imagine how hard it will be on the child?"

"I know it is going hard on this baby and I know that it is going to be hard on us.  But I love you so much.  I can take that hardship.  I will do anything to be with you.  I can’t even imagine not being with you.  It wasn’t something that I planned or thought about.  Love isn’t logical, you know, it isn’t this practical thing.  Do you know how much I want to give you and this baby that I know I can’t?  Do you think if I could that I would let you go, so you could find someone who could give you those things?  I would. If my heart would let me, I would.  And maybe, earlier I could have done that.  But now after feeling you slip away from me.  When you were in the stream my heart stopped.  I couldn’t hold on to you.  Marita, I have never felt so scared in my whole life.  That’s why I know that we can do this, we have to."  Sean looked at Marita; his eyes were pleading to her to understand it all.

"I don’t want to let go, Sean.  I just wish that it would be easier on us.  I wish that we didn’t have to hide."  As Marita said this, her eyes were closing.  She was tired and worried.  Sean had almost forgotten for awhile how sick she was.

"Well we can’t do anything tonight.  So why don’t you close your eyes and get some sleep.  Right now, we need to think about you and get you better.  Okay."

"Okay."  Marita replied drowsily.  She lay back in bed and closed her eyes.

Sean looked at her and kissed both of her eyelids,  "Everything is going to be fine.  Don’t worry, I am going to take care of it.  You sleep, love."  Marita nodded at his statement and then quickly fell back to sleep.  Sean got up and left the room.  HE went to the stable and got his horse.  He needed to look into some things, so he decided to go into town.

Sean knocked on Megan’s office door.  She had always been a good friend to his father and he hoped that she could help him.

"Come in" was heard from inside the office, so Sean entered.  "Mr. Logan, it’s nice to see you."

"Nice to see you ma’am."

"So what do I owe this pleasure?"  Megan asked curiously.

"I was wondering if I might trouble you for some information."

"Information, that’s my business."

"It would need purely confidential."

"I can do that."

"Not even my Pa can know about it."

"That is easy enough to do.  What kind of information did you have in mind?"

"One of my friends from college wrote me with a predicament that he were in."

"Okay."

"Well he had gotten this girl pregnant and didn’t know what he could do about it."

"Well there is one easy answer, which is marriage."  Megan curiosity was peaked.

"She’s colored."

"Oh."  Megan answered with a certain understanding. "Does this young man love this girl?"

"Very much."

"That complicates things a little.  Were you wondering how to make it legal or how to get rid of it?"

"What!  No, he doesn’t want the pregnancy to end."  Sean answered with a little bit too much emotion.  He hadn’t actually thought about that.  He had heard that were ways in which women could kill their child, but he could not do that.  Especially his and Marita’s child. "He wants to know if there is anywhere that they can go, where they would be safe?’

"Wow, that’s a tough one.  I will need to look into that one.  I’ll come by when I find out.  How soon do you need to find out this information?"

"The sooner the better, but then there isn’t that much of a rush. The girl probably won’t be able to travel for awhile."

"Okay, then.  I will see what I can find."

"Thanks."  Sean said as he started to leave.

"Um, Sean.  How is Marita?"  Megan asked, half knowing that they had been talking about her the
whole time.

"She’s awake and her fever is gone."

"She’s awake, that’s good.  Tell her that I said hi and send her my love."  Megan replied smiling.
The young man walked out of her office.  The smile on Megan’s face changed to a look of concern.  This was not an easy thing that he asked her to find out and it wasn’t an easy thing he was about to do.

Several weeks past and things had once again returned to normal.  Marita’s strength was returning.  Her cough had almost vanished.  Isaac and Marita were both still staying at the house.  Sean and Marita were almost always together.  He never went to any social events or out with his brothers.  Any free time he did have, he spent with Marita.  Her stomach was slowly getting larger, with each inch she gained she worried a little bit more.  Isaac and Ned had both noticed that she was getting bigger, but had decided not to say anything until they did.
Sean hadn’t heard anything from Megan.  Until one day he received a letter from her requesting a visit from him.  When he arrived at her office, Megan was not in.  So he let himself in and sat down.  Megan came in a rush.

"I am sorry Sean.  Thanks for coming.  Sorry it has taken so long."

"That’s okay. I understood that this kind of information may be hard to get.  I appreciate everything you have done."

"Thanks.  Well first of all I have found out that you can’t get married.  There is no place in the United States, which allows for interracial marriages.  However, there are some couples who do live together.  What I found out is that in the Western states, such as California or Oregon it is easier to do.  A friend of mine has heard of at least three interracial couples living in California.  If you are interested, I can inquire about where they are and see if there is any good property out there."

"That would be great.  So it is feasible."

"Yes, it is.  Well then I will look into it and get back to you."

"Thanks, thanks for all of your help."

"You're welcome."

Sean rides home with a smile on his face.  California, he had never traveled farther west than the Mississippi.  But California he had heard was an interesting place to be. And the ocean, he could show Marita the ocean.  He wondered what the Pacific Ocean looked like.

When he got home everyone noticed his mood.  He didn’t tell anyone though about his new found information and the reason for his good mood.  He didn’t want to jinx it.  A week later, he met Megan again.  She had told him that there were some couples who were living near Sacramento, California. And that her friend had heard of a good piece of land near there that would be perfect for a horse farming.  As much as Sean didn’t want to be a horse farmer, he was excited about the new prospect.  He also thought that it might be an idea that his father might help out with.
When he got home his father was working in his office.  Sean came in and sat down in a chair in front of the desk.

"Have you ever thought of expanding, Pa?"  Sean asked.

"Expanding?"  Ned looked at his son with curiosity.  His son had been in a good mood for nearly a week and he was very interesting in knowing why.

"Yeah, expanding.  For instance, trying to branch out with the Logan Horse farm."

"Branch out?"

"Perhaps in another state?"

"What state were you thinking of?"

"California."  Sean said matter of factly.

"California!"  Ned shouted.

"Don’t shout.  California is very near Mexico, which means a good crop of Spanish horses.  Plus the possibility of exporting to Australia and New Zealand.  Plus the land in California is supposed to be wonderful. There is plenty of people out there now since the gold rushes that it wouldn’t be hard to find labor to work for."

"Sounds like you have been thinking about this."

"There is a nice piece of land for sale outside of Sacramento.  I was thinking that maybe I could go
out there next week and take a look at it."

"Next week, what’s the rush?"

"No rush, just impatient."

"What about the tobacco?"

"We could sell it. There are plenty of people who are interested in the land.  Plus I was thinking that California might be a good place to raise a family."

Ned smiled at the realization.  This was not a random thought coming out of his son’s mouth.  It was a meticulous plan.  "Raise a family, with who?"

"I was thinking that since Marita and I get along so well.  We should probably stay together as man
and wife."

"Man, wife and child?"

"And child."  Sean sneaked a quick smile in with that statement.

"And how does Marita feel about this?"

"Well I haven’t told her about the California part of it.  But the other parts, she knows about.  I want to take her away from the place Pa."

"How much do you know about this place?"

"I know that it is a fairly free area.  There are at least three couples like Marita and I within 100 miles.  It is a fairly diverse area, lots of Chinese and Indians."

"Which would certainly be a change for two Kentucky people?"  Ned raised his eyebrow at his son.

"Certainly would."  Sean smiled at his father.

"Well, it sounds good.  If you would like I will go out with you and look at the property."

"Actually, I thought that maybe Jeremy would like to come.  Perhaps he could see his mother."

"That’s sounds good.  Well then, I will fully help you out in anyway I can."

"Thanks Pa."  Sean jumped out of his seat.  He was so excited.

"Sean, you might want to run this by Marita."  Ned smiled at his son.  While the idea of him being that far away saddened the man.  He liked the idea.  It was a good plan. A wave of pride went through him as he realized that his son was going to move away and start a family.  His little baby boy, Ned smiled.

"California!"  Marita shouted in amazement.

"California."  Sean repeated.

"But that is so far away."

"That is the point, at least I though that was the point.  We would be far enough away not to be bothered.  There would be little gossip or hiding."

"But it is so far away, Sean."

"I know, but it would be a new start.  A clean start for the two of us, together."

"When would you go to look at the land?"

"The next train leaves next Tuesday."

"Next Tuesday, Sean."

"The sooner we get started with this the sooner we can be together.  Plus we really don’t have much time left."

"California."  Marita said once again.  Her voice was more positive this time.  "California."  She smiled this time.

"I take that as a yes."

"Yes."  Marita smiled.  Sean hugged her.

At dinner that night Sean had agreed with Marita and both of the fathers that he would talk about California.  Isaac agreed to go with Sean and help.  The whole family was sitting at the table eating.   They had been talking about nothing special.  So Sean decided that now was probably a good time to start the conversation.  He looked up at Marita and she nodded with encouragement.

"Lexie could you pass the potatoes."  Clay asked.
 
"I had this idea, that I have discussed with Pa."  Sean started the whole family stopped at his sudden statement. "I think that the family is getting too big and perhaps we need to branch out a little."
 
"Branch out?" Clay asked,
 
"I was thinking that it might be a good idea for us to start up a new horse farm which allows for more expansion."
 
"Like where?"  Alice chipped in.
 
"California."  Ned said, hoping that his addition to the conversation may help Sean.
 
"California!"  All the Logan children shouted at the same time.
 
"California."  Sean repeated. "There is a good piece of land that is for sale.  Isaac and I are going to go look at it."
 
"When?"  Alice asked.
 
"Next Tuesday."
 
"Next Tuesday, what’s the rush?"  Alice added.
 
"Well that was going to be my second announcement.  As you all probably know by know Marita and I have developed a relationship.  And due to the nature of such a relationship, we thought that it would be better if we left Kentucky.  So that there was no harm done to anyone else in the Logan family."
 
"You mean like gossip?"  Alice asked.
 
"Like gossip.  Which is why I was going to bring her with me to California."
 
"But you two can’t get married.  That’s not legal even out there, right?"  Clay asked.
 
"No, it wouldn’t be a legal marriage."  Marita added slowly.
 
"But legal or not, we would live as man and wife."  Sean continued.
 
"So she is going with you on Tuesday?"  Lexie jumped into the conversation.
 
"No, she is going to stay here for awhile.  I am going to get everything ready for her and then bring her out."
 
"I don’t believe this."  Alice added snootily
 
"Alice."  Ned stated firmly.
 
"No Pa.  I don’t understand why the two of you would do this.  Why you would have to do this?  Why you would do this to this family, Sean?  You were going to marry Vivian Winters and now you are going to live with . . ." Alice continued.
 
"Alice, it was something we planned.  And it definitely was something that we tried to stop.  But there some things that no matter how hard it will be, you just have to do.  I was going to marry Vivian.  But I realized that I didn’t love her.  And that wouldn’t have been fair to anyone."
 
"So you are just going to leave.  You think that is going to stop people from talking."  Alice continued.
 
"No, it won’t stop talking.  But, we Logans have always been a source of rumor and gossip.  It doesn’t mean that everything they say is true.  Plus they wouldn’t be able to prove anything.  By the time the rumors really started Marita and I would be in California."
 
"Pa, you are going to allow them to do this?"  Alice continued.
 
"Yes, actually I am.  Marita and Isaac have always been apart of this family.  While I know how hard this will be on them both.  I can’t stand in their way."
 
"I don’t believe you two."
 
"Alice, I don’t need your approval."  Sean tone matched Alice’s.  His voice was very firm.
 
"Alice, I can imagine what you must be thinking right now."  Marita started.
 
"No you can’t imagine.  You are not standing here watching your whole future be ruined, your family’s name being made a laughing stock.  How could you imagine?"  Alice said bitterly.
 
"Alice, that will be enough.  No one asked for your permission."  Ned jumped in.
 
"No one.  No one told us anything.  No one cared what we thought."  Clay began.  "Sean, I agree with Alice.  This was an incredibly selfish thing for you to do."
 
"It was selfish, Clay.  I know that and I am trying to figure out a way that would cause the least amount of damage to anyone."
 
"That is easy.  Stop it.  Just stop the relationship."  Alice began.
 
"I can’t just stop it Alice."
 
"Yes you can simply stop it.  Go away for awhile."
 
"I am not going to leave Marita."
 
"Why not?  You both can go off and live a perfectly happy, normal life, separately."
 
"I won’t do that."  Sean said firmly.
 
"Why not?"  Alice shouted, she was so angry at this moment.
 
Lexie who had been quiet this while time said innocently, "Because they love each other and they’re having a baby."
 
Everyone looked at Lexie.  Nobody had realized that she had known anything about the baby.  Only Ned, Isaac, Marita and Sean had known.
 
"She’s pregnant!"  Alice said, as her eyes grew wide.  "You got her pregnant!"
 
"I’m about four and half months pregnant."  Marita said quietly and calmly.  She was trying to remain as calm as she could.
 
"Which is exactly why I am not going to leave her.  She will have the baby here and then we will move out to California."  Sean said directly.  There was going to be no questioning this.
 
"Alice and Clay, I think that we should talk privately for a while." Ned said.  With that Marita quietly got up and went outside.  Sean followed her.

 
The next week was hard.  Alice and Clay weren’t talking to either Sean or Marita.  When Sean left for California, he asked Clay if he would come.  Ned strongly suggested that Clay agree.  So Clay left with the two of them.  Sean promised Marita that he would be home before the baby was born.  And that they would have a house and a farm by that time.
 
The next weeks were hard on Marita.  She felt an intense sense of loneliness.  She spent a lot of time with Jeremy and Lexie.  Alice was still not speaking to her.  Sean wrote every week.  The land was good and he had bought 500 acres.  They had started building the house.  And the stables.  Sean wrote all about the land and area.  They had twelve men working for him.  They were all Chinese and he wrote all about how they spoke.  He had also met another couple.  The woman was Native America and the husband was Russian.
 
Marita wrote to him about the house and the tension.  How Alice was still not speaking to her.  She also wrote about their child and how quick it was growing.  There had been another attack on a Black man and the sheriff suspicions were growing.  The man had died.  When Ned found out, he told Marita to never go out alone.  She never left the farm.  Whenever the doctor came to check up on her, he came to the house.   No one knew that Marita was pregnant outside of the family and the workers.  Everyone had been ordered to keep silent about the child.
 

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