Vivian looked into the mirror and saw the resemblance between her and her mother.  She knew there wasn’t anything she could do about it, but vowed to herself that she would not end up bitter, evil and alone like Georgina.  Although Georgina and Vivian didn’t see eye to eye on most things, Vivian agreed that there was one thing they did have in common.  They both go after what they want, and Vivian still wanted Sean Logan.

It’s been months since that disastrous engagement party, but Vivian’s heart was still full of emotion for Sean.  She knew that it would be hard to get over him, but not this difficult.  The more Vivian saw Sean or heard the mention of his name, her heart dropped.  Vivian admired how strong she had become. It was Vivian, not William, who got their father’s business back on track, with the help of Ned Logan.  But she also knew her weakness. "Damn you Sean Logan", Vivian spat out while walking to the open window that filled the room with night air.

On the other side of the window, several miles away in a barn attic, Sean and Marita nestled on a blanket that stretched across mounds of hay. Sean’s head rested on Marita’s chest as she ran her fingers through his curly hair. They both cherished these moments and knew it was time to say goodnight and sneak back to their homes.

Words were hardly spoken between them, but their thoughts were shared with the stars that could be seen through the cracks of the barn ceiling.

Sean did not want this moment to end. He felt sad because he wanted so much to spend his nights in her arms and wake up to her radiant glow.

Marita’s thoughts were filled with distress from her conversation with Alice earlier that day. Alice and Marita usually shared secrets, but this time it was different. Afterwards, Marita felt something that she had never felt before:  insecure.

Alice said, "I ran into Vivian in town today.  She said that she missed my friendship especially since we were almost sisters-in-law.  She suggested that we should not let what happened between her and Sean interfere with our friendship and I agreed.  She went on to say that she had never really gotten over Sean. Vivian felt that she needed Sean’s shoulder to cry on since Georgina returned to Lexington." Still in shock, Marita continued to listen as Alice went on to talk about Vivian’s feelings towards Sean and how she’s determined to get him back.

"Can you believe that , Marita?" asked Alice.  "She talks as if Sean is seeing someone and she has to fight for his love over this "Woman".  I tried to tell her, but you know Vivian."  Alice finished with a smile.

Marita just sat staring.

"How could she know about Sean and me"?  He promised me that he cleared up any rumors that were in that letter he received weeks ago. " How could she know"?  Marita thought to herself over and over again.  Although Marita never had any contact with Vivian, she was well aware of her presence.  And knew that Vivian purposely told Alice her feelings toward Sean so it could get back to Marita.

Sean moved his head off of her chest and looked into Marita’s eyes.

"Penny for your thoughts." He said with a smile.

"For you, its free." Marita answered back with a slight smile.

"I’m afraid its time to go home.  I hate this Marita.  I wish I we could hold each other all night.’
 
"I know.  But these moments that we do have are precious, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess."  Sean answered.

As Marita climbed down from the ladder, Sean was reaching for her waist to bring her close to him.  She turned around and faced him.

‘What’s wrong?  Why are your eyes filled with tears?" He asked with concern.

"Oh it’s nothing.  Something is irritating my eyes that’s all".

"You would tell me if something was wrong, right?, He asked not convinced by her previous answer.

"Sure. You know I would.  I could you tell any and everything."  Marita answered.

He gently kissed her on the lips and walked her to the side of her home.  They both knew this was as far as he could go. She hugged him and whispered I love you in his ear.  He held on to her as long as he could, but let go and watched as she entered her front door.

The next morning Ned sat at the table and admired what he was seeing in front of him.  His family was getting along.  Everyone seemed happy and he liked that sight. He especially liked the change in Sean’s behavior from weeks before when Henry Langston was in town.  He noticed his son’s attitude was better and he was confiding in him again.  But in the back of Ned’s mind he understood Sean’s behavior and wanted to hear him say why he’s behaving the way he was.

"Why are grinning, Pa?" asked Lexy.

"It's nothing, sweetie.  Just enjoying the scenery".

"Are you going into town today, Sean?"

"Yes sir.  I have some paper work that needs to be done.  I shouldn’t be there all day though", answered Sean.  "Why do you ask"?

"Oh, I just figured since you came home so late last night, you’d be too tired to do any  work around here or at the office."  Ned asked suspiciously.

"Nah.  I got responsibilities".

"That’s for sure".   Clay chimed in from across the table.  Everyone broke into laughter.

Sean answered the door.  He was shocked to see Vivian on the other side with a ledger in her hand.

"Hello Sean.  Surprised, are you?"  She said in her dainty voice.

"Yeah, a little I guess.  What brings you here?"

"Well, I was in town and had time on my hands before seeing the accountant.  I thought maybe we could have lunch together.  Are you free?"

"Well, not really.  I’m trying to finish up some work.  I was planning to head back home soon".  He answered her with a puzzled looked on his face.

"You mean I have to eat all alone".   She whined.

"I guess I can eat something.  Let me get my coat and hat".

While lunching with Vivian, Sean could not help but think about Marita and why she seemed so upset last night.

"HELLO! HELLO! Sean do you hear me"?

"Oh, I’m sorry Vivian my mind was someplace else.  What did you say again"?

"It seems as if your mind has wondering a lot lately".
She snapped.  "Just the other week when Mother and I was over visiting it seems as if your focus was outside that window. What was so interesting that it had you frozen in your foot steps"?

"I was staring at the beautiful scenery that was outside.  That’s all".

"Oh really.  Well I’m sorry we weren’t much company to a least keep you interested".  Vivian answered bitterly.

"You asked Vivian.   I was just telling you the truth".

"Well about the scenery now"?  I mean do you like what you see’?

"Vivian, I always thought you was a beautiful woman.  But you didn’t see things the same way I did".

"Did you ever love me Sean or was this some type of game you Logan men play on women"?

"Yes I did and still do love you.  But I’m not in love with you, that the difference".

"If not me, then who Sean?  I mean it’s been months since our engagement and no one sees you with anyone.  Asked Vivian, now annoyed.

"Look Vivian, maybe this was a bad idea.  I’ll just leave.  I have work to finish back at the office".

"No! Wait Sean, please.  I mean, will you at least escort me to the accountants office?"   She asked.

"Sure".  He answered.
 

Isaac looked at his daughter and was amazed how beautiful she had become.  They seldom spent time together and the ride into town was something they both needed.  Marita sat quietly as her father whistled.  The air was cold and damp, but the sun felt good shining on her face.

"What’s bothering you, baby girl?  You’re mighty quiet over there".

"Nothing.  I’m just enjoying the cold air and sun", she replied.

"You know Marita, you never really told me what happened between Henry and you that day, I was sure he was going to ask you to marry him".

"I know Pa.  He didn’t’.

"Where you disappointed’?

"A little, but it wasn’t meant to be I guess".    Marita answered in a soft voice.

"His loss right"?!

"Yeah, his loss Pa".

They rode the rest of the way in silence.  While entering into town,  Marita spotted Sean’s hat and started smiling until she saw Vivian walking next to him arm in arm.  She felt sick to her stomach and her eyes started to well up with tears.  Isaac did not notice the emotional breakdown his daughter was going through because Marita kept her face turned the opposite way from her Pa.  There was one thing that Marita did know was that if he didn’t stop the buggy soon, she was going to throw-up all over herself.

Marita managed to keep herself together long enough for Isaac to pull up to the General Store.   She got off the buggy and excused herself as she walked to a side alley to throw-up and cry.   Approaching  Isaac was Sean and Vivian.

"Hello Sean. Vivian.  Nice day for a stroll"?  He asked, smiling.

"Sure is, Isaac.  Doing a little shopping?"  Sean asked.

"Yeah.  Marita and I decided to take a ride into town for some shopping. She was just standing here, but I think she went inside the store already".

"Marita is with you"?  Sean asked nervously.

Marita leaned up against the wall and stared up to the sky  while thoughts filled her head.

I can’t go through this.  What I’m I thinking about.  You know and I know we can’t be together.  Oh God.  Please stop the pain.