Through out its nine year run, one of Falcon Crest's most rewarding and entertaining traits was its superlative dialogue. Whether it was dramatic, humourous or both, Falcon Crest's dialogue always left us cheering. Here is just a brief sampling of some of the best lines on Falcon Crest.

QUEEN OF MEAN

No feature of Falcon Crest's dialogue would be complete without a tribute to the ascerbic wit and stinging barbs of Angela Channing...

Angela tries to convince Nicole Sauget to sell her a credit note for Chase's land:
Angela: Revenge leaves a bitter taste in one's mouth, something like sour grapes. Why don't you leave it to the pros?

Chao-Li is refusing a life-saving operation:
Chao-Li: Mrs. Channing, it is better to die in peace than live in disharmony.
Angela: Well, whatever that means... Oh my what a terrible view. I'll have your room changed. You should spend your last days looking at something more pleasant than the parking lot.

Melissa wants to work at Angela's Del Oro Spa:
Melissa: I can do it, Angela. I know I'd be good at it.
Angela: What you're good at, Melissa, is getting people killed.

Maggie and Angela discuss Nicole Sauguet:
Maggie: Have you heard Nicole Sauguet's idea for memorializing Chase? Chase Gioberti Children's Hospital.
Angela: How philanthopic.
Maggie: Yes, of course she's tearing down Chase's vineyard to build it.
Angela: Well philanthropy is one thing, stupidity is another.

Angela walks past Maggie and Richard sharing a kiss at Chase's memorial:
Angela: How sweet. Sharing your memories of Chase?

Angela interrupts some call girls to find out about a business venture Emma has unknowingly gotten herself into...
Hooker: Hey, what's going on here? Who invited grandma?
Angela: Why ladies, and I use that word loosely, tell me this, how much do you make in a night? Two, three hundred dollars?
Hooker: We don't make anything, whatever the gentlemen care to spend on us.
Angela: Suppose the gentlemen would like to spend a thousand dollars, each, in the presence of grandma, so I can ask you a few questions about your dating service.

Angela comments on Melissa's turn as creator of The Max nightclub:
Angela: I must say, insanity does bring out Melissa's more creative side.

Angela discusses her claim on Maggie's house and vineyard with Sherrif North:
Sherrif North: You could at least have the decency to forewarn her.
Angela: Your heart is bleeding all over my carpet.

Angela plans Emma's wedding:
Angela: Watch the caterers, they take more breaks than a union band.

Curtis introduces himself to Angie:
Curtis: Oh hi, you must be Mrs. C., Emma's mom.
Angela: I'm Angela Channing. Now who in the world are you?
Curtis: I'm Curtis Esterbrook, I'm waiting for Emma.
Angela: Alright, I'll get my checkbook...

FAMILY FEUD

Angela is apalled Richard's newspaper is covering Emma's arrest and barges into Richard's office:
Angela: Don't you ever read your rag?
Richard: Don't you ever knock?

Angela consults with Father Bob:
Angela: How can I love the baby I lost and hate the man he's become?

Richard has Angela on his mind:
Richard: The wicked witch of the west. Angela. Tells more lies than the devil.

Angela is relieved Chao-Li has passed his life-saving operation:
Angela: You know, Chao-Li has been with me longer than any of my husbands. If he died, who would I have left?

Angela is visiting Emma in prison:
Angela: Now Emma, you've had your little excitement. I'm going to call our attourneys and we'll have you out of here by lunch. I'll see you at home.
Emma: Not for a while you won't. I'm refusing bail.
Angela: Emma, even with Chao-Li in the hospital, the food is much better at Falcon Crest than it is here.

Emma is heading off to L.A. to write the screenplay of her dealings with a call-girl agency:
Emma: Hollywood, here I come!
Curtis: That's one killer outfit, Emma.
Angela: I'd like to kill her.
Curtis: This story is going to make Emma a very rich woman.
Angela: She's already a very rich woman.
Emma: I've decided not to keep any of the proceeds from the sale of the screen play. Instead I'm going to open a special home for my new friends in Nevada. I'm going to call it 'The Angela Channing Halfway House'.
Angela: Ohhhhhhhhhh...

OUCH

Angela enters Nicole Sauguet's room at the Del Oro Spa:
Angela: May I come in, Miss Sauguet. It is Miss Sauguet, isn't it?
Nicole: How sweet, you've come to turn down the bed.

Richard trades barbs with a blackmailer:
Richard: I've never been afraid of a little blood and guts.

Maggie and Richard catch up after a fight:
Maggie: I want to apologise, I'm just not quite sure how to do it...
Richard: What's wrong with 'I'm sorry'?

Angela is lunching with D.A. Wilkinson in an effort to find out about the explosion at the Gioberti estate, but Wilkinson is remaining silent:
Wilkinson: May I ask what you're doing?
Angela: What does it look like, I'm writing a check.
Wilkinson: Oh Mrs Channing, I have told you before I cannot be bought.
Angela: Oh don't be silly, this isn't for you. This is for the man who's going to run against you for the D.A. next year...do you think this is too garish a sum?

Maggie confronts Melissa:
Maggie: You better have a good lawyer Melissa, you're going to need one.

This site designed and maintained by Adrian McConchie. © 1998 Adrian McConchie. All rights reserved. Original images and materials © 1981-98 Warner Bros. Television. No material, designs, artwork, original images, titles or scripts may be reproduced without the consent of the respective author. 'Falcon Crest: A Tribute' is an independent site that shares no affiliation with Warner Bros.