Ask the Ducks
By Lisa
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Setting: The rec room. All the Ducks are seated around a table that has a huge stack of letters on it. 

Wildwing: Lately we have been recieving a lot of questions asking about us or our show and we thougt that we should answer some.

Nosedive(cheerfully): And it gets us out of a photo shoot!

Wildwing: Let's begin.

He grabs a letter from the pile 
Wildwing: This one reads...

Dear Ducks,

I was wondering, do you or your insurance pay for the damage you cause while battling Dragaunus?
Yours Truly,
Sara Flight

Wildwing: Well Sara, You may find this hard to believe but it's very hard to get insurance when you wreck as much stuff as we do in battle. So to answer your question, we pay. next letter.

Duke picks up a letter and reads it aloud.

Dear Nosedive,

I have noticed that you and Grin spend a lot of time together. By any chance are you funny?
Luke Morges

Nosedive: By *funny* I hope you're referring to our jokes rather than if we're gay or not.

Duke smirks.
Duke: You still haven't answered his question. Are you *funny*?

Nosedive(shouting): Of course I'm not!

He snatches the letter from Duke and throws it in the trash.
All the Ducks but Nosedive and Grin are laughing. They're mumbling about what sick minds humans have.

Mallory(chuckling): Okay, here's another one.

Dear Mighty Ducks,

I am six years old and my daddy won't let me take ice skating classes because he says I'm too little. How old were you when you started skating?
From,
Sally

Mallory: Being that Puckworld is covered by ice, most of us learn shorty after we begin walking.

Mallory takes another letter

Dear Duke,

How come so many fan fiction characters date(d) you and stuff like that?
Bob Bolens

Duke shrugs.

Duke: What can I say? I've been around.

Tanya starts reading a letter aloud. 

Dear Mighty Ducks,

How do you feel about hockey? From Nancy

They all sit there with a confused/annoyed look on their faces.

Grin: Thats the dumbest question I've ever heard.

The rest nod in agreement.

Tanya:That was pitiful. Well, here's another...

Tanya,

Why do you always sound like you have a cold?
Lila

Tanya: Well, I'm allergic too a lot of things, like feathers, so I'm kinda allergic to myself, I guess.

Nosedive: Here's one for me. It says...

Dear Dive,

What is the dumbest thing you ever did?
John Prikes

Nosedive: Now that is a hard one. let me think. Oh I know! I've never been much of a morning person and when I was fourteen I forgot to put my pants on, so there I was at school and I noticed I wasn't wearing any pants! Then I thought it was a dream, you know, the one where your naked in a public place type dream, but when the teacher sent me to the guidance councilor, but she said I was beyond guidance, so everything turned out all right! They didn't even press charges!

Mallory: Here's another for Dive.

Dear Nosedive,

What is your goal in life?
Mary Lonlooc

Nosedive: My goal in life is to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time!

Mallory(sarcastically): Boy, you set some really high goals don't you?

Wildwing: We have time for one more question.

Dear Ducks,

Aren't you afraid of dying?
From Nick Watts

Grin: There is nothing to fear but fear itself...

Nosedive: And being canceled.

Grin: Well, that too.

Wildwing: Thats all the time we have today. Join us next time and remember, if you have any, and I mean any questions about us or the show, send them to 
Hysteria82@hotmail.com
and we'll answer them for you.

All the Ducks: Good Night!