This was more of an experiment than any sort of real literary effort. It has its moments of real drama, but on the whole, it is a failed experiment. I don't think I really conveyed the right kind of emotion and I certainly took a few detours in the plot from where I originally thought it was going to go. This story has some major flaws in it, but I think going back and correcting those flaws would take something away from the story itself, so I'm gonna leave it as it is.
The first chapter was the whole basis for this story. I could just picture this scene in my mind so clearly, I had to do something with it. Part of the experiment was to make myself have some sort of self-discipline to sit down and work a little bit every day, but the other part was telling the story in an alternating sequence. I know I've read a story told this way before, but I couldn't give a specific example. If you wanted to read the story in a chronological order, you'd read all of the even numbered chapters first, then go back to the first one and read all the odd numbered ones. The first chapter is really the "middle" of the story. I intended to show something in the relationship between Jill and Greg in one chapter, then in the next show the relevance to the present situation. Of course, that didn't happen.
Another bad thing is the fact that in some of the chapters, Jill gets brushed aside completely. Really, there should be more balance in telling both of their stories. Under a different circumstance I probably would have done more with her.
I don't feel like I made these characters contemptable enough. I really wanted main characters with no real likability (is that a word?). They all have really bad traits--Greg is obviously very amoral and has a warped sense of honor. He goes from his girlfriend leaving him in the morning to sleeping with a complete stranger that night, and really doesn't agonize over it very much. Jill is very self-absorbed and spoiled, and wants excitement and stability at the same time. Stacy is supposed to be Jill's alter-ego--she has all the excitement she can handle, but wants desperately to have stability. I made her very promiscuous in order to force Greg to make a value judgement about himself. Maggie was a character I spliced in from another story idea just as a lark. She probably was in the story too much, but I found it hard to make her very contemptable at all, so I made her a martyr instead. I struggled with more different things to do with her than any other character--at times she was going to be killed, was going to be the one Greg ends up with eventually--but in the end I decided to leave her be, which hurt the one really cool literary trick I was planning to use. You'll notice that it's raining when both Jill and Stacy kiss Greg for the first time, but not Maggie. The rain was going to be sort of a signal that these were not the right ones. In fact, I even left out one other female character that was going to be who Stacy ended up being. Stacy was merely going to be another one-week stand, until I realized I should just consolidate and move the story along. This other character would have had a rainfall during their first kiss also, thereby making Maggie the "right one", even though no one would have known. Thus the title. Oh well.
Some of the chapters sounded good in my head, but when I actually had to execute the idea, they didn't seem so hot, so that explains some of the uneveness in this story. I also shied away from more use of local color, being more specific about places in New York City. I've only been there once, and I didn't want to embarrass myself by making a mistake. So I kept that as vague as possible. A longer story format would have been better for that probably. The timeframe is also rather confusing, but again, I wanted to leave a bit of wiggle room. When it's relevant, the time is specifically stated.
Well, I think that's about everything I wanted to add. Let me know if there is anything you'd like me to clear up about this story. It has been a challenge, but well worth the effort. Thank You for taking the time to read it.
Brian Baker
9-15-98