Bill: He is one of the phenomenal Boyz II Men. Their latest CD is Evolution. Nate Morris. Yes, sir.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Nate, great to meet you. Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Bill:Okay. Well, we started to get into this on Monday's show about Paula Jones, and it looks like the Clinton camp wants to settle. And I think first of all, people are confused. 'Cause they think, "Hey, didn't Slick Willy beat this particular rap?" And it's sort of unusual that the winning side is paying up. But I guess they're doing it because now that he is, you know, an admitted whatever he is -- adulterer, liar, whatever you want to say -- okay, and also my boy, Jones --

Lauren: Regular guy.

Bill: -- Jones is appealing. I mean that only in the legal sense.

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

And could win. And people are saying, "Does this mean that by paying it's an admission of guilt?"

Nancy: I think it is.

Bill: You do?

Nancy: It's very unusual to get a motion to dismiss. Those lawyers must have been up until 2:00 in the morning on that. And to win that and then turn around and pay the person, there's obviously something he's worried about.

Lauren: Didn't she always say that it was never about money? It was only about -- now suddenly it's all about money, which obviously was about with Lewinsky, too. Because how many women, you know, have a crush on a guy and then as soon as he says, "Sorry, can't do this anymore," they say, "Give me a great job in New York for a lot of money or I'll tell the world"?

Nancy: But that doesn't excuse him though, Lauren.

Lauren: This is a dishonest sex worker.

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: Just because she's a sleaze, he's president. He should have known better then to put himself in that position.

Lauren: He's a guy, let's face it. He's a guy. And guys --

[ Applause ]

Nate: I wouldn't say "guy," I would just say human. We're all human and we all make mistakes.

Lauren: Okay. But you all are more human than us. Let's face it.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah, but -- she's right. Come on.

Lauren: Thank you.

Nancy: There's more than this. People wouldn't be going after it so hard if there wasn't all this other stuff he's done, the Filegate, Travelgate.

Lauren: The stock market's the highest it's ever been, blah, blah, blah.

Nancy: No, he didn't do that. The reason that happened is because he's been so hamstrung with all his personal problems he couldn't do anything. If he had gotten that health care thing this nation would be toast.

Lauren: Thanks.

Nancy: We'd be standing in line around the block to go to the doctor.

Scott: How did he hurt his hamstring, is what I would like to know.

Nancy: How did what?

Scott: Never mind.

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: He's been unable to do some of the stuff he wants. And the economy is good.

Lauren: Yeah, because there has been a witch-hunt after him. That's the reason why he's been unable to do something.

Bill: Yeah, I'm so surprised. You're a Libertarian. I'm a Libertarian. I would think Libertarians would be for getting off a guy's case and being about liberty.

Nancy: Well, because this guy is a tyrant. He wants to be a dictator.

Bill: A tyrant?

Nancy: All this stuff -- Things like Waco and Ruby Ridge. But there's rumors out there that he's killed people. I mean, this man has like 50 people --

Bill: There's rumors out there that you've killed people. What does that mean?

[ Laughter ]

So this is -- your party is party by rumor? That's an interesting way to conduct politics.

Nancy: Look at the statistics here. 50 people -- this is a guy who's just a few years older than me. He knows 50 people who died in weird, crazy ways. How many people do you know that died in airplane crashes, fell out of buildings --

Bill: This is why the Libertarian Party goes nowhere.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Nate: I don't think it's fair to say he's guilty by affiliation.

Bill: Third party vice presidential candidates. Admiral Stockdale --

Nancy: What about -- hey, I wasn't at that debate. I didn't need a hearing aid. If I'd been there I would have been able to participate.

Bill: Okay.

Nancy: So don't tie me to Stockdale. I was outside demonstrating.

Lauren: So you're a wild woman, basically.

[ Laughter ]

You are not a sort of middle kind of the road.

Nancy: No, I'm a radical Libertarian.

Lauren: So far left it gets to be right?

Nancy: We're not left at all.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: Wait a second. I'm a Libertarian. That means we believe that people should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else.

Lauren: Amen.

Bill: It doesn't believe we think kooky theories that Clinton killed 50 people.

[ Laughter ]

That has nothing to do with Libertarianism, I want that clear.

Nancy: What about Mary Mahoney? The woman's working at Starbucks. Monica Lewinsky is going there. Suddenly, she and two other people are killed. The guy doesn't even go through the cash register. You don't find that funny? Gennifer Flowers was afraid of him. That's why she taped him. Monica was afraid of him. Monica told Vernon Jordan, "I don't want to wind up like Mary Mahoney."

Bill: Marilyn Monroe was doing the Kennedys and she got dead.

Nancy: Yes.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: You know? I mean, Monica Lewinsky, if they were going to kill anybody, they would have killed her.

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: They couldn't kill her. She told 11 people about it.

Bill: And these other people didn't, the Starbucks worker, and I mean --

Lauren: That's so far out we can't talk.

Bill: Yeah, I mean --

Lauren: That's just too far out.

Bill: Was this taking place in Area 69?

[ Laughter ]

We have to take a commercial. Be safe, folks.

Bill: All right. There's a very controversial new play that opened in New York this week, Terrence McNally's "Corpus Christi." It is about -- I don't know all about, but the Jesus figure in it is gay. And, of course, there have been protests outside the theater. Many of them clashed with police. Just their outfits, not actually --

[ Laughter ]

Scott: Are there any gay protesters saying, "We don't want him"? Like we don't want him to be gay? No?

Bill: No. Wait a second, boy.

[ Laughter ]

I'm just asking, now, in the play, he has gay sex with Judas and is crucified by the King of the Queers.

Nate: No, that's not --

Bill: Is that true?

Nate: Well, I don't know if it's true, but I mean, from, you know, from what I -- I mean, I'm a Christian. And that's, I think that's pretty sacrilegious to me.

Scott: But so what? It's art. Who cares what you think about that?

Nate: What do you mean "art"?

[ Laughter ]

Scott: I mean, honestly. Jesus wasn't a frog, either, but I could do a play about Jesus as a frog.

Nate: But art and religion are two different things. I don't think you should mix those.

Scott: I actually think calling Jesus gay isn't that controversial, to be perfectly honest. I think that there's a lot of evidence that Jesus was probably gay.

Nate: No.

Scott: Absolutely, I mean, come on. He didn't have sex with anyone.

Nancy: But if it bothers you would you want it to be illegal?

Scott: He was like a virgin. He identified with prostitutes.

Nate: So we teach our kids -- hold on.

[ Talking at once ]

Bill: One at a time.

Nate: We teach our kids.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: One at a time.

Nate: We teach our kids every day not have to sex, but does that mean that they're gay?

Scott: No, it certainly doesn't.

Nate: You just said because Jesus didn't have sex, because he didn't have --

Scott: Any man that doesn't have sex until he's 33 is probably deeply disturbed or gay, and then --

Bill: First of all, you don't know that.

Scott: No, I don't know that.

Bill: There is no record.

Scott: I'm just trying to join the conversation.

[ Laughter and applause ]

And I don't see anything sacrilegious about calling gay -- after all, the church has been the home for gay people for thousands of years. And you know, the amount of priests and ministers that are gay is profound. Everybody knows that now. And there's nothing immoral about being gay.

Nate: We're talking about Jesus. That's what we're talking about.

Scott: Exactly. I think it's more controversial to portray him as having blue eyes and blonde hair, frankly.

Nate: Some people that believe in a religion, like myself, don't believe Jesus as a man. He's a prophet, he's a spiritual figure. He's not just some --

Scott: Right, and why couldn't he be -- why couldn't this person -- if ultimately he's a prophet, though, why couldn't you believe that he took, you know, whatever.

Nate: I believe he's the son of God. I don't believe he's a prophet.

Bill: My question is, if there's something that offends the gay community, in even the slightest way, there is a huge --

Scott: That's not me.

Nate: They lose their mind.

Bill: But there is a huge outcry.

Scott: Don't say "they." There's no such thing as "they." I could care less.

Bill: But, I mean, if a character in a movie who does something bad is gay, there are protests.

Nate: Oh, yeah.

Nancy: Everyone has the right to protest.

Scott: So what? You can still say they're stupid.

[ Talking at once ]

Lauren: And everyone has a right to say what they want in a play.

Nate: We live in a country that gives you that right, but also you as an individual have your right of opinion. That's my opinion.

Nancy: And the people outside demonstrating have the right to their opinion. And I happen to agree with them. If I was in New York, I'd be there, too. I find it offensive.

Scott: It's art. I mean, it's art.

Nate: I'd be right there.

Bill: All right.

Scott: I mean, they also portrayed him --

Lauren: We're agreed. We're cool. Next.

Bill: Then let me --

Nancy: Don't you hate when that happens?

Bill: Let me ask you about this gay case.

Scott: Oh.

Bill: What?

[ Laughter ]

You don't want to talk about anything --

Scott: I'm not saying anything -- no.

Bill: Okay, we won't.

Lauren: No, no, please.

Bill: No, no. Hey, buddy, we're doing it for you.

[ Laughter ]

I thought you wanted --

Scott: No, I --

Bill: You don't? I'll talk about anything you want to talk about because I never want to make you uncomfortable. You're my friend.

Scott: Now you're making me uncomfortable.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: Okay. We won't talk about the man who was in the car accident and became gay. I just figured it was an amusing --

Lauren: Was he rear-ended?

Nate: Was he in the back? [ Laughter ]

Lauren: I'm just asking.

Nate: That'll do it.

Lauren: And what kind of a car?

Scott: And it was a stick shift?

Lauren: Yes, or that new Probe. That GM Probe.

Bill: He was in an accident, and after the accident he said that he couldn't have normal relations with his wife and that he had become gay and he won the lawsuit.

Lauren: How much money?

Scott: What do you mean he couldn't have -- Does that mean his penis didn't function, and therefore, he had to use the other way or what? Or he became a bottom after or what? I mean --

Bill: He claimed the accident made him --

Lauren: And he saw the light.

Scott: I know I'm making you uncomfortable.

Bill: He claimed the accident made him a homosexual, and the jury bought it.

Lauren: And he won?

Nancy: How could that happen, though? I thought -- I mean, I don't know, not being gay, but my gay friends have told me they know when they're 12 years old. How could you get to be 30 --

Scott: Have you ever asked them if they were car accidents when they were 11?

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: No, but I slapped a few of them and they didn't turn straight.

Scott: 'Cause I was, actually. Now, does is it work the other way? 'Cause I'm so tired of being gay now I want to be in a car accident that will turn me straight.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: All right. We'll take a break. We'll give poor Scotty a break.

Bill: All right. There have been so many really big news stories that have been lost because of the president's scandal, which took over the news the last few weeks. One of them was that, and this is huge, affecting people lives, you can now select the sex of your baby.

Lauren: Yikes.

Bill: Yeah, you never could before. But doctors at the Genetics Institute in Fairfax, Virginia, which is a private for-profit fertility institute. But they have a system that's called "sperm sorting." I think I had that job in college.

[ Laughter ]

And if you, like, have two girls and want a boy, you can do it now. You can say, "Hey, you know what? Now we want the boy."

Nate: It all depends on who the decision lies in. I mean, I love women to death, but if they get to pick, we'll be phased out.

[ Laughter ]

Lauren: I would never phase you all out.

Nancy: That's not how it works. Actually most people want boys.

Scott: Do better with their male children.

Nate: Maybe they'll keep a few of us around just to keep things going.

Lauren: Just a few?

Bill: Just to keep the species going.

Scott: I always thought mothers and daughters always clashed and that mothers are always better to their boys. I always thought that.

Bill: They are. Mothers to the boys and fathers to the girls.

Scott: But more importantly, can you choose hair color?

[ Laughter ]

'Cause I'm having a blonde. I better.

Bill: But that's an interesting question, actually, is that if you allow this, will people not want to go another step?

Nate: I think it should be left alone, personally. I think that's just like the cloning thing. I think it should just be left the way it is.

[ Applause ]

Lauren: In China, because of the one-child policy where every family can only have one child, they've killed so many girls. They would not have the girls, that they now think, my Hong Kong friends tell me that they think it may be as little as seven men to every one -- seven boys to every one girl in China, the population of that age and maybe even more. And that's scary. 'Cause if you've got that much testosterone inside a country there's only one way to get it out.

[ Laughter ]

Scott: War.

Lauren: Yeah.

Nancy: Yeah.

Scott: It's going to lead to war. Any country that has seven to one, men to women, is going to go to war.

Lauren: Some people have told me --

Bill: But until then it wouldn't be a bad place to live, would it, hon?

Scott: But send them a lot of porn.

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: For women it would be great.

Bill: I kid.

Scott: No, you don't kid. That was a good one.

[ Laughter ]

I agree with that.

Bill: But it is screwing with fate, isn't it?

Nancy: Oh, it's disturbing. But would you want a law against it? Would you want the government saying, "You can't do this, you can't have this procedure. The technology's there, but you can't have it." That, to me, as uncomfortable as I am with the procedure, I'm more uncomfortable with that.

Bill: That's the Libertarian that I know and love.

[ Laughter ]

Exactly.

[ Applause ]

That's what libertarian means, right.

Nancy: And I find it uncomfortable. But there's things I do that other people find uncomfortable. I don't need them to be illegal.

Bill: Why don't you tell Scott what they are.

Scott: Saying he's a mass murderer.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: Right. Right, you go around spreading rumors that the president is a mass murderer.

Nancy: Hey, read the "Clinton Body Count." It's out there on the net. It's in video.

Bill: It's out there on the net! Listen to this! What do you mean?! Everything is out on the net! The net is a bathroom wall!

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

Nancy: I can't rattle off all 50 names. What about Ron Brown, Bill? Ron Brown had a .45 hole in his head. And they say it was a plane crash. There was no storm that day. The weather reports proved it.

Bill: Oh, my God.

[ Laughter ]

Ron Brown, you're saying, had a .45 caliber slug in his head?

Nancy: Not a slug, a hole for one.

Bill: Oh, a hole. Just a hole.

Scott: They insert it later?

[ Laughter ]

So it was like you drill it --

Nancy: No, it came out.

Scott: -- And then you put the bullet in later? What, how would it work?

Nancy: No, no, no. In the autopsy, there was a hole in the top of his skull.

Scott: But there's nude pictures of Bill on the net. And I know for sure, I know they're not real.

[ Laughter ]

Nancy: How about the one that Hillary is a dominatrix?

Bill: We've got to take a commercial. We'll be right back.

[ Applause ]

Bill: All right. We got off talking about the Internet. And it's a troubling thing that people put a credence, I think, into this that they never would or never did in any other medium. And just because it comes across your computer screen, it's -- it can be such garbage. And why does an intelligent person like you put so much respectability into it?

Lauren: It's on the Net.

Nancy: Well, it depends on what I've seen. I mean, I've read detailed stories on that. But what about the mainstream news? I mean, what about the stuff you hear at 5:00? Some of it is so biased, so limited, they don't give us the whole story. You put credibility on that?

Nate: There's even crazy people at home that can make up their own web sites now. So, I mean, you know, anybody can throw anything out there.

Bill: Right.

Nancy: Let the person decide. When you see it, you assess it. At least you get a chance to see it rather than just have the news at 10:00 spoon-fed to you.

Bill: But you seem to just recite it as if it is fact.

Scott: Yeah, you're saying it happened.

Nancy: No, no, no, I didn't say it was fact. I said there are suspicions based on the large number of people who've been close to this man.

Scott: Believing the Internet is sort of like believing --

Nancy: I don't want to get sued by Bill Clinton.

Scott: It's sort of believing like Gladys Kravitz.

Bill: Right.

[ Laughter ]

Scott: You know, the nosy neighbor. Like, everybody's news now comes from Gladys Kravitz.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: Right.

Scott: "And then she wiggled her nose and turned into a witch."

[ Laughter ]

Bill: You're right.

Scott: I know. It's ridiculous.

Bill: I mean, when CB radio was the craze, we all laughed at it. But nobody sort of thought that CB radio was carrying the word of God.

Nancy: Okay, but what about Matt Drudge? The stuff he started putting out on the web two years ago, now he's a respected journalist. Because he did good investigations. He got real stories out. He's got good sources, and now he's on TV.

Nate: There are some true things and there are some things that are just made up. I mean, you know, you got to think it for yourself, I think.