HCW Challenge! (May 14th)
--In a non-title match Hangman (in a delusional state of "Being Hulk Hogan") takes on HCW champ Bane the Anteater. A surprisingly well-balanced match seeing Hangman electrify the crowd and executing many Hogan-esque moves is eventually won with Bane snapping the deadlock on in the center of the ring.
--Next was the tag team title match, with champs Lactose Intolerant taking on a new tag team, the Teamsters. The Teamsters emerged and refused to wrestle, saying they were on strike. This annoyed the (much larger than before) Cream Machine into beating them both down. Lactose Intolerant retained the belts after a hard-fought match.
--Two former friends went at it next as the AFMT's VIC took on Dick Fitzinbutt. This was surprisingly not too terrible of a match featuring many hilarious spots, high flying moves, and a run-in by Hangman. Dick Fitzinbutt gets the pin after VIC unexplainably becomes stuck to the mat.
--In the main event and probably last HCW match, former tag champs the Molpers took on former tag champs and long-time rivals the Shankers. A match featuring many technical moves including some well-executed suplexes was eventually won by the Shankers when Daz pinned Kyle "Bruiser" Fenimore.
HCW Spring Break Mania 2000 (March 11th)
--The Coalition came to the ring and issued various challenges, and then Milkman Dan rocked HCW by introducing his new tag team partner and Coalition member, the masked man, The Cream Machine!
--Our first match featured the returning from injury Reverend going up against Hangman for the Junior Title. Reverend possessed the title when he was injured from the ladder fall, and never lost it in a match. However, Hangman proved that he is the undisputed Junior champion after defeating the hooded one in a match filled with weed wacker shots and posts broken over the competitors' backs.
--The second match featured new wrestler Columbine faced with the formidable opponent of seasoned veteran Adolph Oliver Nipples. After a close match, Columbine reached for his trench coat and a rifle appeared out of it! Columbine asks Adolph if he believes in God, and then shoots him in the head for the KO and the win!
--Next was the tag team title match, The Faction (Fury & Turkish Tank) vs. Lactose Intolerant (Milkman Dan & Cream Machine). Shortly after the match begins, Fury reaches for a tag and the Tank slaps him in the face! They bicker outside of the ring while Lactose Intolerant looks on. After taking a beating, Fury is pinned under the pile of Milkman Dan, Cream Machine, and Turkish Tank. NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS, LACTOSE INTOLERANT!
--In the jobber match of the night, Gangreene finally achieved his first victory of his HCW career over AFMT member VIC.
--Since Justin Time, who was scheduled to face Bane for the title, was caught up wrestling in Toledo, Bane challenged anyone in the back who wanted a title shot to make themself known. Fury emerged and it was on! The two engaged in yet another HCW classic. Fury hit Bane with the Fatal Fury and was making the cover when Bruiser ran in and knocked out Fury with the Hardcore belt. Bane then applied the deadlock and Fury was KO'ed.
--And in the main event, a TABLE match for the hardcore title, the crowd saw the most violent match in HCW history. The man to put his opponent through two tables first would be the Hardcore champion. Action started out swift with Daz the Shanker beating Kyle "Bruiser" Fenimore down with a plunger. Bruiser came back and belted Daz with a chair right onto the Russian announcer table set up by the deck. Bruiser scaled the deck, and after getting a kiss from an audience member and donning the goggles, Bruiser FLIPPED OFF THE DECK THROUGH THE TABLE as Daz moved out of the way. Score still 0-0. Daz beat him down and set him up on a table by the ring, but just as he was about to jump from a chair, Bruiser gained strength to nut-shot Daz. He then sets up Daz on the table and hits a jumping clothesline through it. Score 1-0 Bruiser. Daz is unfazed by this and after beating Bruiser down again, picks him up and powerbombs him through a table nearby. Score tied 1-1. Bruiser gets up fast and furious. He hits a running drop-kick on the former heavyweight champ, but Daz gets up and power-slams him. Daz has a table setup and runs to fetch the ladder. He comes back and hits Bruiser with it, but it doesn't faze him. Bruiser executes a hurricanrana on Daz and sets him up on the table. Bruiser ascends the ladder, dons the goggles, and drops the big elbow on Daz through the table! Winner and STILL HARDCORE CHAMP, Kyle "Bruiser" Fenimore!
Justin Time on the Indy Scene
Part-time HCW superstar Justin Time is in the process of making a name for himself in the indies. He trained over winter break from college in Florida with Dory Funk Jr. who has also trained current WWF superstars Test, Val Venis, and Edge, among others. Justin has recently wrestled shows in Toledo, Pittsburgh, and St. Louis. HCW wishes Mr. Time nothing but the best in his endeavors. GOOD LUCK WOODY!!!
Daz the Shanker Wrestles in Lorain
On Saturday Jan. 15th, former HCW champion wrestled in the Lorain EHW's "Blood Bath 2000." Daz won a 15 man battle royal as well as the EHW's U.S. Championship belt with a win over high-flyer Scarlet Edge. He also participated in a four team tag match.
HCW ButterBall Brawl '99 (Nov. 27th)
--In the first round of the hardcore tournament: Kyle "Bruiser" Fenimore defeated the "King of Hardcore...PORN" CouldYouFuckMeRealQuick? in a quick match. Making his HCW debut, Justin Time wowed the crowd in winning quite handily over Gangreene. Hangman shocked the crowd by continuing his giant killing syle and defeating the Turkish Tank. And in a hardcore lumberjack grudge match after tons of interference, the Mighty Squirtles defeated Adolph Oliver Nipples after dumping a "Squirtles Shit" in his face.
--In the second round of the hardcore tournament: Hangman defeated the Mighty Squirtles after Squirtles lost his will to win from seeing the Hangman's genitals when he pulled his pants down. Bruiser defeated Justin Time in what may be the greatest HCW match ever, including many climbs to the top of a ladder, stiff chair shots, and exciting high-flying moves.
--In the HCW title match Bane The AntEater was victorious over long-reigning champ Daz The Shanker in a hard fought battle. Bane had Daz in the deadlock but Daz reached the ropes. Then Daz worked Bane's midsection and nailed him with a couple chairshots to set him up for the dazzler, but Bane kicked out. Eventually Bane slapped the deadlock on in the middle of the ring and Daz tapped out.
--In the finals of the Hardcore tournament, Bruiser defeated the Hangman after a brutal match in which they did not enter the ring due to the huge hole in the middle. Bruiser slapped Hangman with a few pizza boxes and chair shots, but missed a flip intended for the Hangman and went through a table. Bruiser finally gained revenge over the Hangman from the final chapter when he dove off the deck and clotheslined the Hangman leading to a pin to become the first HCW Hardcore Champion.
--And in the final match, "The Faction", Fury and the Turkish Tank won the vacated tag team titles when Fury hit the Russian Bear with the Fatal Fury. The Russian Bear lacked a partner when it was revealed that the Turkish Tank had killed Ghostpirate in a foreign gay bar. The son of Goldust was taking a beating until the unforseen return of the Missile. He came to his Coalition-mate's aid, but to no avail.
HCW The Final Chapter (Aug. 14th)
--The event started with the announcement that the Reverend could not defend the Junior Title because he is a pussy, so a match was set between Hangman of PPH and V.I.C. of the AFMT. Hangman won the match easily even with interference from The Molpers of the Coalition.
--Following his win, Hangman challenged Bruiser of the Molpers to a return Luchadore match, with the stipulation that if Hangman won, The Molpers would have to defend the tag team titles against fellow PPH members Adolph Oliver Nipples and the Mighty Squirtles later in the night. In what is once again a great HCW match featuring Bruiser and Hangman, many high flying moves, huracanranas, and yet another table dive by Bruiser (it actually broke this time), Hangman took the win when he bulldogged Bruiser's face into a steel pan as he jumped off a ladder.
--The next match featured Coalition member Milkman Dan against new comer and mysterious force Gangreene. Gangreene took everyone by surprise by emerging from the woods as he was camoflauged in tree branches, but Milkman Dan put up a good fight and took the win when he spit milk in Gangreene's face as he was about to be powerbombed.
--Next we see the debut of Russian Bear's comrade Ghostpirate. Let me just say this kid had the coolest mask I've ever seen. He takes the win easily over V.I.C.'s buddy Dick Fitzinbutt as Dick tapped out for no apparent reason.
--The Amish Jew emerges from the back to challenge Jack Tits to a match, apparently this dumb jew hasn't had enough of the AFMT, cuz they whoop his ass at every turn. During their match, Couldyou? comes out to aid Jack and Fux the Amish Jew really quick while the ref's back is turned, leading to a pin by Jack Tits.
--In the first match of the triple main event, The Molpers had to defend the tag team belts against PPH members Adolph Oliver Nipples and the Mighty Squirtles. It was never really a fair fight as that pussy Squirtles crossed PPH and joined the Coalition during the match as he helped molp former partner Adolph. (Note: Adolph and Squirtles had the coolest costumes of the day)
--In the triple threat match for the HCW title, PPH leader Daz the Shanker retained the belt after a grueling match when Fury hit the Fatal Fury on Coalition member Russian Bear and Daz knocked Fury out with a chair and pinned the Russian Bear.
--And in the final HCW match, it ends where it all began with Bane taking on Fury. A good match until Daz came out of the back and started beating on the two who were calling themselves the "real champions". Fury and Bane teamed together to beat down Daz in front of the thousands in attendance, and shook hands and walked away with the title belt together.
HCW Challenge! (May 23rd)
---In an event full of changes, perhaps the most
surprising was the joining of the PMA and the GWO to form the Coalition!
The members of this new and large faction have sworn to gain all the HCW
title belts.
---However, the HCW Heavyweight Title slipped
away from Coalition member, Russian Bear (sog). Daz the Shanker defeated
the Russian Bear in a battle of the Big Men. This was quite a violent
match that, at one point, saw Russian Bear's head being smashed under the
hood of a car. Although the former champ fought hard, Daz proved
too much for him, and he finished him off with a pile driver to gain the
HCW Heavyweight belt.
---Before his grudge match against The Reverend
and Milkman Dan, Fury made sure to have his back covered. He introduced
a new wrestler to HCW who goes by the name The Turkish Tank. The
match started out fast and furious and never lost a step. The Reverend
and Milkman Dan double teamed Fury and threw him out of the ring.
However, the Turkish Tank came in to even the numbers, and Fury took control
of the match. After The Reverend took a ten foot fall from a ladder,
and Fury power bombed Milkman Dan, both members of the newly formed Coalition
felt the Fatal Fury. Fury then pinned them both, gaining some vengence
for his loss of the Heavyweight belt.
---The AFMT gained two new members, VIC and Fat
Ween. Even thought this tag team, which goes by the name Too Gay,
lost their match against new Coalition member Curt "The Missle" Bissel,
they were still recruited by the AFMT. This upset Amish Jew and Kid
Cock, who then issued a challenge to Couldyou?? and Jack Teets. They
accepted the challenge and the AFMT ended up winning that match.
---In one of the shortest and most one sided
fights in HCW history, the Turkish Tank destroyed Rick the Roto Tiller.
After an elbow drop that almost broke every rib in the Roto Tiller, the
Turkish Tank pinned him for a victory in his first match.
---The Luchador match between Hangman and Kyle
"Bruiser" Fenimore saw dozens of high flying manuevers and neck breaking
moves. Bruiser dominated the match with power bombs, huroncuranas,
and a leaping splash onto the Hangman, who was proped up on a table.
Hangman had quite a few impressive moves of his own, and the match ended in a draw after a double clothesline and pin.
---The match between The Mighty Squirtles and
Bane would decide whether or not The Mighty Squirtles and his partner,
Adolph Oliver Nipples, would get a Tag Team Title shot. This match
was quite a brawl, both wrestlers taking damage. However, the move
that decided the match was when The Mighty Squirtles missed a high flying
attack meant for Bane. Instead, he found only concrete. Bane
took advantage of this miss and pinned him.