Like salmon swimming upstream to spawn, there comes a time in a person's life when they feel the urge, the call of nature, to return from where they first came from. It was this primal feeling that drove me to visit the Samuel Adams brewery. Yes, I know I wasn't born at the brewery and there was little chance of me spawning while on the tour but I think the comparison holds. Or perhaps I should say it's like how the sirens were said to lure sailors to their doom and substitute haunting singing for brewing skills. No matter what ill-fitting analogy I use it doesn't change the fact that the last time I was in Boston I went on the Samuel Adams brewery tour.

With fellow patron of the alcoholic arts Cosmic Chris in tow, we emerged from an uneventful subway ride into a non-descript looking part of Boston. Following a few signs helpfully posted on the streets we headed into the brewery itself. While waiting for the tour to start the growing crowd of beer lovers were able to read up on the history of Boston that skewed toward an emphasis on breweries, the life and times of the Koch family before and after they started selling Sam Adams beer, and an exhaustive glossary and summary of different types of beer and brewing that was worthy of an entry in an encyclopedia. Hanging from the rafters were a slew of banners marking the victories Sam Adams beers had achieved over the years at brewing competitions around the world.

The tour started when a guy named Theo or Thad or something that I'm fairly certain started with a "T" introduced himself. Since Theo looked vaguely like Will Ferrell he must have decided he was as funny as a professional comedian. The only thing worse than being stuck in a conversation with someone who thinks they are funny is being stuck in a captive audience listening to a speaker who thinks they are funny. In Theo's defense when he was asked a specific question he quickly switched to an authorative tone that rattled off lists and facts proving that in spite of his comedic short comings Theo most certainly knew his beer. After a brief "How's everyone doing?" introduction a video was played featuring Jim Koch who discussed how he founded the company, the awards his various brews have won, and other Sam Adams related propaganda. It turned out Mr. Koch fancied himself an amateur comedian as well. At least he was pre-recorded so the awkward silence that would follow a punch line wasn't present as he plowed through his adoration of his own product.

After that the crowd was herded into the brewery itself. Theo gave us an introduction to how beer was created that went from using simple props to a discussion of how the concoction that will eventually become beer is tossed about various vats in dizzying detail. Our heads still swirling from trying to remember whether the mash from vat A is left to ferment for three weeks or whether it was chucked into vat B for two weeks we were told to line up to receive our complimentary mini beer glass. The glass itself is, I would guess, about 6 oz. with the Samuel Adams logo stenciled onto the side. It's a very nice glass and even though I'm not sure how often I will be drinking from it I'm certainly happy to add it to my collection. The free novelty glass was nice enough but what was really important about it was that it signaled that it was now time for free beer.

Let me pause a moment in my narrative so you can reflect on those two magical words: FREE BEER. You almost never come across an offer as good as this one folks. The now very happy crowd swarmed into a German style beer hall with long wooden benches that were great for sliding pitchers along. Cosmic Chris and I sat next to some German tourists in order to get the full effect. First up was the basic Boston Lager and then the seasonal Spring Ale with the currently off the market Scotch Ale rounding out the selection. To think, Scotch Ale has been off the market for a number of years with only one batch brewed per year in order for the Samuel Adams company to keep the trademark and they were generous enough to share it with us. Talk about a swell group of people.

During the midst of the free beerathon something magical happened. A sense of good will and community spread through the room. It was like a group celebrating a winning sports team or that tingling sensation you get on Christmas morning. Yes, everyone had been drinking. Even though there was a language barrier between me and the German couple -my German is even worse than their English plus the beer wasn't helping my language recall- I still felt we had become fast friends. Theo's stale jokes were suddenly funny thanks to our imbibing. The entire room was united in it's common love of beer. It was like there was liquid love in my dinky souvenir glass.

A few notes here. First, I am not advocating drinking until you're drunk. If you can't tell the difference between drinking enough to where you can give yourself an excuse to act silly and actually becoming impaired you have no business drinking. Second, I'm not trying to become a shill for the Samuel Adams brewing company. It's a strange fluke more than anything that they have received so many early reviews plus they were good enough to give me free beer so naturally I'm going to return the love. At no point was I not aware I was basically walking through a sixty minute commercial for Samuel Adams beer but it didn't matter. I was more than happy to donate a couple dollars to some local charity in lieu of paying for the tour just as I was delighted to buy a Sam Adams t-shirt at the end of the tour. Not only did I get to see the headquarters of a company that has built it's reputation upon the respecting the tradition of beer but they gave me free samples. Who could ask for anything more?

Be thankful I didn't include the snapshot of me posing next to the portrait of Paul Revere/Sam Adams that was used as the basis for the label designs. Questions, comments, and more free beer can be sent to gleep9@hotmail.com. If you're done filling out your complimentary Sam Adams post card head on back to either the Beer or Main page.