Since I've never wanted to pigeonhole my page into the discussion of any one particular genre, I decided that an overview of some local Chinese restaurants in my area would make perfect sense. While I know a majority of readers of this page will never have a chance to visit these restaurants -making this whole article a moot point- nothing else on this page is particularly helpful either which means I'm staying consistent at least. When judging these restaurants I was most interested in how the food tasted, how strange the restaurant's name was, and often the staff would bicker with each other in Mandarin.

I rather like this place, especially since it's primarily known for having the fattest mascot chef in town. The portable billboard sign outside, which has remained in the parking lot since the the grand opening some three years ago, used to read GRAND OPENING: GREAT CHINA BUFFET but the over the years so many letters have fallen off it now reads as EAT BUFFET. I personally like that name better.

Not only is the menu unappetizing, I have no idea how the hell you're supposed to get to the place. If you walk there you have to dart through interstate traffic and if you drive there and miss your turn you're going to end up thirty miles out of town before you get a chance to turn around.

Decorations include a fish tank that is full of aquarium toys -including a skeleton that continuously drinks from a jug- but no fish, a statue of Santa Claus, and a framed sketch of Popeye the Sailor. Upon sitting down you're immediately served water and tea in addition to any other drinks you may order, so you're well hydrated after your meal. While I do enjoy eating here, you're inexplicably charged less for a meal if you go through the drive-thru.

Features a numbered menu [ex. C25 = Moo Goo Gai Pan] allowing people to purchase food they cannot pronounce. While most of the menu is lack-luster, it features the most he-man style presentation of General Tso's chicken in town. Instead of bite sized pieces of chicken there are several massive balls of chicken big as your fist resting in a spicy syrup. The hot peppers hidden like land mines in the sauce is a nice touch. Worth ordering if you're very hungry or feel like hurting yourself.

Occupying the premises of a former Burger King, the restaurant still has the look of a burger joint. Decorations include plastic plants, hand fans nailed to the walls, a large wooden model of a ship, and Led Zeppelin posters. No two chairs in the restaurant match. A majority of people associated with the restaurant, including the people preparing the food, smoke. The food has never tasted the same way twice when I've gone there which makes for adventurous dining.

This is probably my favorite place in town. The reason I don't eat there regularly is because: 1. it's not that close to where I live 2. the decorations aren't bizarre.

Sadly, the menu doesn't live up to the hyperbolic sign. But the name... the name...

Suggestions on where I should eat? Drop me a line at gleep9@hotmail.com and I'll gladly consider dining there the next time I'm in town. If you've remembered to tip the waiter, head on back to either the Pop Culture or Main Page.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page