For reasons I can't quite fathom I recently rented Battlefield Earth. I knew I was in for a bad movie when the DVD menu was so poorly put together that the Earth was backwards. When I mentioned my choice of viewing to Shriner Evans he sent me the following:

Dammit, boy, didn't I warn you Battlefield Earth sucks like no movie has ever sucked before. Haven't I been railing against it for months on end now! John Travolta - what were you thinking? Did you really need producer credits that badly? Did you take the whole gift basket at once of quaaludes the studio sent you? At least Tony Danza had the common decency to produce a film about his father dying of cancer before making a dumbass of himself by hosting the Miss Teen USA pageant. I mean for Crissake, John - Broken Arrow was okay. Michael and Phenomenon were cutesy but tolerable in a schmaltzy kind of way. Good date flicks that showed Johnny's softer side. Pulp Fiction was not bad. Look Whose Talking was acceptable because it was your come-back film. I prefer to ignore Look Whose Talking Too because it was probably agreed to under contract. You can't fight a contract unless you want to get bitten to death by wild lawyers. Fair enough. Primary Colors and A Civil Action showed you could do relatively serious films. Lucky Numbers proved you have a sense of humor (or else just really wanted to act with Lisa Kudrow).

And then you went and made Battlefield Earth. Its like Diane Sawyer spending decades building up her journalistic integrity and then throwing it all away in one fell swoop by not only interviewing the PetSmart.com sock puppet, but having it seranade her on live tv.

But I am ranting, sir. I rant...

Thanks for the complaints! If you have something you would like to share with me and possibly the world drop me a line at gleep9@hotmail.com. Disco twist on out of here to either the Third Movie or Main page.