Here how Shriner Micah, fellow fez-wearer, responded when I asked him to describe Guillame.
Ah yes, philosophers have been wrestling with that one for years. What, indeed, is Guillame? Is it a state of mind? Is it something inside the spleen? Is it a mass psychosis? Oh, to hear how Plato, Freud, or Rousseau would have treated this problem!
What is Guillame? I have always thought it a select group of free-thinkers who have achieved a near-total state of anti-Zen unawareness. They believe all things are not interconnected, and being thus un-connected, members of Guillame are free to burn the shit out of anything with a flamethrower. One of Guillame's early philosophers formulated the idea of perfect Guillame:
-its members are by no means aesthetics. They do not shun alcohol or food. They do not eschew women (rather, they are eschewed by women).
-members who have achieved perfect Guillameism wear capes and fezes. They meditate to music by their Cuban band leader, David Pigman.
-they enjoy and interpret morality plays featuring Tony, the Love Slug and Pizza-Mon.
-they believe that all non-believers should be covered in tar and feathers, and have lime green golf balls shot at them from a turret gun atop an all-terrain Winnebago.
-the cult's spiritual elders are known as: THE GUILLAME FLYING SHRINERS
The beliefs of this so-called group are hard for the beginner to comprehend. It takes years and years of study and practice to achive a state of Guillame. Much fruit punch, breadeaux pretzels, and hostess twinkies must be consumed before one can appreciate the subtleties involved in Guillame. There are only three members known thus far to have achieved this perfect state, but reports number millions of acolytes studying their teachings the world over.
I hope this clears up any questions on your part.
Makes perfect sense to me. Zap on back to either the Pop Musings page or the main page. That, or stick around here and risk getting tarred and golf-balled.
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