Some time ago I decided to review the Heisei films and promptly began putting it off. Now, however, I'm finally getting the films rewatched, reviewed, and even re-reviewed. First up is Godzilla 1984. For the purposes of this review I'll be discussing the Japanese cut of the film and not the American Godzilla 1985 that features plenty of re-editing and plenty of Raymond Burr. If someone out there feels like writing up a review of that particular version of the film or possibly a comparison of the two cuts please feel free to since I'm too lazy to get around to doing it.

Anyways, onto the review. The movie opens with the reporter Goro Maki [Ken Tanaka] rescuing Ken Okumura [Shin Takuma] from a ship that had been attacked by mutated sea lice. After the two of them beat the sea lice puppet to death they get back to Japan and hook up with Naoko Okumra [Yasuko Sawaguchi], Ken's sister and Professor Hayasida [Yosuke Natsuki], some generic movie scientist guy who is obviously a man of learning since he walks around with a pipe clenched in his teeth. Human actors often get the short end of the stick in Godzilla movies but these are four of the most boring Godzilla characters I've come across. There was no reason for Goro to continue to pester those poor people. Didn't he have other stories to cover or actual friends he could spend time with instead? The Okumuras don't seem like much fun to be around anyway since Naoko spends most of the movie seemingly staring at something off camera and being overly critical of Goro for doing his job even though even though she doesn't know the guy. Professor Hayasida is quite the catch as well. I think he's supposed to be a biologist but he spends a majority of the film twiddling with bird calls on the surprisingly large amount of audio equipment he has in his lab. It's difficult to tell if he's trying to find a way to defeat Godzilla or is working on some sort of odd music track.

The sub-plot featuring the Prime Minister [Kenji Kobayashi] discussing a possible nuclear strike on Godzilla from either the Soviets or America is much more interesting. You know something isn't clicking in the plot when a bunch of old guys sitting around a table discussing politics is the most vibrant story in the movie. G84 is unique in that it's the only Godzilla movie I can think of where the threat of Godzilla is viewed in an international light. While foreign help is occasionally offered in other movies most of the time Japan is left to fend for itself when it comes to dealing with Godzilla or any other giant monster that's on the loose. G84 is the only film where other nations not only view Godzilla's attack on Japan with concern, but view Godzilla as a possible threat to them as well. It's somewhat surprising that other Godzilla films haven't been this overt in discussing Japan's place in the world.

Miki Factor: In every Heisei review I'll spend part of the review discussing the psychic Miki Saegusa and her contribution to the story. Trouble is, she's not in G84 and at the time she would have been, at most, twelve years old. Sorry, no Miki for you this time out!

But how does the star of the show do this time? Godzilla himself looks like someone took the more cartoonish Godzilla movies and made a serious suit using that design. It's a different look, to say the least. G84 marks the first time that Kenpachiro Satsuma played Godzilla, a role he reprised for the rest of the Heisei series. Playing giant monsters must be a pretty specialized field, but not only did Mr. Satsuma manage to make a career out of it, he stuck with it long enough that he finally got to be in the starring role. Quite an accomplishment.

I don't have the exact figures in front of me, but just looking at the film I would guess that G84 had a hefty special effects budget which allowed for elaborate, large sets that Godzilla could rampage around on. G84 is also one of the few Godzilla movies that features onlookers. In most Godzilla films there is a brief shot of people running at a modest jog in an effort to evacuate before some monster stomps the area flat. With G84 there are people around constantly, whether they are standing in a crowd in order to gape at Godzilla or are scrabbling out of the way of a giant prosthetic foot -more of the effects budget at work. Everything gets blown up real good this time out.

But for all the money thrown his way Godzilla doesn't actually get to do anything. He waddles into town, has a less than thrilling fight with the Super-X [a flying saucer super-ship the Japanese government just happened to have lying around that looks for all the world like a flying rice steamer] and then plods off after hearing an oversized duck call. Not only is it not the sort of thing that gets the blood pumping, none of it means anything. In all his films Godzilla's rampages serve a purpose. Whether he is standing in for the horrors of nuclear war or just came to town to whomp on Gigan, Godzilla usually has a reason for being in the movie. In G84, however, he has no reason for his attack on Japan. Instead he aimlessly wanders around, seemingly as lost as the viewer. The idea of making a serious sequel to the 1954 Godzilla movie was a sound one but nobody came up with a good reason for Godzilla to stomp into Tokyo other than he needed to so they could make the movie. Thankfully, this problem is addressed in the next film, Godzilla vs. Biollante.

Postscript: I would be remiss if I didn't mention the movie ends with a love song [with full English lyrics!] directed to Godzilla. The movie itself may have been sluggish but the ending credits unspool with a sense of craziness that hints at the sense of zany bravado that will propel so much of the rest of the Heisei films.

As always questions and comments can be sent to gleep9@hotmail.com. Since I'm cross-filing these Heisei reviews I'm not going to provide the usual back hotlinks that I usually put in this blurb. Instead, I encourage you to use the BACK feature on the internet browser that you're using. It's probably in the upper left corner. Go ahead and click it when you're ready, it will be okay.