There are Godzilla movies and then there are Godzilla movies. I'm not entirely sure what I mean by that but Godzilla x Megaguirus is most certainly in the latter category. Fueled by a sense of good fun, energy, and an almost willful lack of logic GxM plows forward where most movies fear to tread.

GxM starts out on a fun note with re-created footage of the current Godzilla lumbering about in scenes from previous Godzilla films. Not only does this let the film makers have fun showing Godzilla in black and white film stock it allows them to totally re-write history. In this new Godzilla-altered Japan the nation's capital has been moved out of Tokyo for no reason that affects the story and seems to have no luck with any sort of energy source that doesn't attract Godzilla, including the seemingly innocuous sounding Green energy. This time out Godzilla is sort of shown to be the Jiminy Cricket of Japan, except that instead of being a small, guiding voice of a conscience, he tends to stamp the country flat if it gets out of line.

Becoming sick of having Godzilla trample every potentially dangerous fuel source it tries out Japan decides to take out Godzilla once and for all so they can burn fossil fuels like there's no tomorrow and generally behave like any other wasteful super power. To do this the oddly named G-Grasper unit, headed by Captain Kiriko [Miri Tanaka], is organized. Not only does the G-Grasper staff have a nifty jet plane [the Gryphon] and a small fleet of remote controlled submarines [SGS] -both of which are fully identified by text on the screen as if they were major characters in the story- they are in charge of developing the ultimate in anti-Godzilla weaponry; the Dimension Tide, a machine that generates artificial black holes.

In Godzilla movies it's tradition that the weapon designed to defeat Godzilla has the potential to be a greater threat than Godzilla but the idea of a cannon that shoots black holes is a doozy even by Godzilla movie standards. I'm not even going to ask how you create a black hole but how do you turn it off? Wouldn't it keep pulling matter towards itself? Also, what happens to the matter that gets pulled into the black hole? Is there a really small, super dense ball of sucked up crap that sinks into the ground after the black hole shuts itself off? Never mind that everyone is so keen on a weapon that if fired improperly could very easily destroy the earth, the Dimension Tide is installed on an orbiting satellite for seemingly no good reason other than to make sure maximum chaos can ensue. What other countries thought about Japan setting up a death-from-above satellite built to shoot at targets with pinpoint accuracy isn't mentioned although one would think they wouldn't be too keen on the idea.

During a test of the Dimension Tide several rifts are caused in time and space. I suppose this is better than nuclear fallout but the trouble with big holes in reality is that any fool thing could fall through them and, sure enough, something does and it leaves behind eggs. Not only does this egg cluster hatch but it hatches in the middle of Tokyo so before anyone knows it a big chunk of the city is flooded turning it into make-shift incubator for more Meganura eggs. The Meganura look like a mix between a dragonfly and an old Buick and are, in my opinion at least, pretty cool looking. Giant insects don't always turn out that well in movies but the Meganura twitch in a satisfyingly insect like manner, are photographed in a way so they don't totally look like puppets, and actually molt when they get bigger. When was the last time you saw a giant movie insect molt? It seems the people who created the Meganura were having fun with this monster.

You can't have insects in a movie without a swarm scene at some point and GxM doesn't disappoint. The G-Grasper team realizes just how bad the Meganura problem is when a handful of soldiers head out in a rubber boat to dynamite the egg nest of the Meganura but instead discover hundreds of Meganura sunning themselves on the side of a building. The soldiers turn out to be a remarkably brave bunch of guys and proceed to take on the Meganura swarm all by themselves. A couple of guys in a boat shooting at giant insects that are crawling around on the side of a skyscraper: is this a cool movie or what?

After the Meganura swarm loses most of it's population in a fight with Godzilla the remaining Meganura inject both their own life force and the energy they stole from Godzilla into a single larvae which hatches into Megaguirus which is the final form of Meganura, the top predator of it's era, and one whopping big bug. All the information about Megaguirus that appears in the movie and this review was helpfully provided by an unnamed paleontologist in the film who paces around reciting his lines like he's the only person in the movie and who knows an incredible amount of information about an insect that's been extinct for millions of years. It seems you can learn more from fossil records than you would think.

The fully grown Megaguirus is also a great monster. It's essentially a bulk sized version of the Meganura from it's stinger tail right down to having a hinged jaw for a mouth with the bonus of a few more super powers added to it's arsenal. It does make me wonder, however, that if the Megaguirus was supposed to be a predator in it's time frame what exactly it was eating since that sucker is huge. Godzilla's size can be explained by the magic of radiation but with Megaguirus it seems they simply grew 'em big back then.

There were times in the history of Godzilla films when it seemed the film makers sometimes don't quite know what to do with flying creatures but the makers of GxM managed to give Megaguirus plenty of unique tricks so it's battle with Godzilla wasn't dull. There's nothing worse than a poor opponent, but Megaguirus turns out to be a good adversary for Godzilla and just as adept at destroying buildings as he is.

While the monsters do tear up their fair share of the landscape they have nothing on the humans in this film. In their efforts to destroy Godzilla the G-Grasper unit manage to make one heck of a mess. Whether they are accidentally letting Megaguirus loose in the present, out actively picking fights with Godzilla, or blasting black holes into the urban areas of Japan, all their actions create a great deal of collateral damage. What is odd is that when it's revealed that a government official had green lighted continued secret experimentation with Green energy -which subsequently brings Godzilla crashing into Tokyo once again- Captain Kiriko and company become incensed. You can release killer giant insects on Japan and cause all sorts of other destruction but you shouldn't try to hide something even if it could prove to be beneficial to the country. It seems you can have as many blunders as you want as long as you're up front about it.

The human sub-plot and guest starring monsters are all well and good but like every other G movie out there the star of the show is Godzilla. The thing to note about Godzilla this time out is the progression of this current incarnation's [the millennium Godzilla] personality. Instead of being the walking personification of rage that the Heisei Godzilla was, the GxM Godzilla seems to take a page from the slightly punchy Godzilla found in some of the Showa films. This time out Godzilla is much more active than he has been in a good decade with the big fellow either slapping himself down to fight off a Meganura swarm or doing his best to hustle his bulky frame around in an attempt to keep up with the much more nimble Megaguirus. I half expected Godzilla to rub his thumb over his nose -or in this case his snout- before he attempted to wrestle his opponent. But while Godzilla is back to being a bit more frisky that doesn't mean he's gone soft and started being a friend to humanity. In fact, his aggressive side means that he's using his new-found physical dexterity to do such such non-friendly acts as ramming his head down alleyways in order to chase people. One thing that hasn't changed is that Godzilla is still the toughest thing standing. Not only can he take as much punishment as he can dish out, the movie's climax shows that Godzilla is, incredibly, so tough that he can out-fight the theory of relativity.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that the ending of GxM makes no sense whatsoever and that's saying something since Godzilla movies are always one step away from complete zanyness at any given moment. But since GxM tries to cram everything you could possibly find in a giant monster movie into one package -even up to and including a small schoolboy that nobody in the audience identifies with- an ending that is as breathless as it illogical not only seems consistent with what preceded it but is almost expected. Thing is, I can't be too hard on the movie since GxM tries very hard to entertain, plus how can I possibly not love a movie that even goes so far as to have someone hitch a ride by clinging onto Godzilla's back? Now *that's* the crazy sort of thing I want to see when I watch a movie!

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