Last Samurai stars Tom Cruise as disgruntled veteran Nathan Algren. In spite of spending a undetermined amount of time liquored up in order to shrug off his post traumatic stress disorder he picked up from combat he's still in remarkably good shape. So much so that when his old comrade Zebulon Gant [Billy Conolly] offers him a new military job and some fast cash Algren is ready to stagger straight into it. Algren's old nemesis Colonel Bagley [Tony Goldwyn] is setting up a contract with Japanese entrepreneur Omura [Masato Harada] to train Japan's newly formed conscription army in the methods of modern warfare. Algren, in spite of being drunk off his ass and so belligerent toward Bagley that he threatens to kill him, is considered the perfect man for the job.

Algren sails to Japan, meets the Emperor Meiji [Shichinosuke Nakamura], sets to work training the troops and continues to let his death wish fester. After the leader of the rogue samurai Katsumoto [Ken Watanabe] attacks a train Algren's unprepared men are sent after him. Using a fog machine set on over drive to their advantage, a bunch of samurai wearing way too much armor easily mop up the government soldiers. When Algren is going to get killed Katsumoto stops his men. It seems the samurai leader was impressed with the foreigner's moxy on the battlefield, plus he had dreams about Algren before he first saw him. By dreams I mean the visions of the future type, not the latent homosexuality type... I think. The samurai lug Algren's sorry butt back to his village where the captured soldier dries out, learns Japanese, and generally goes native.

I must admit there was something fun about seeing so many Japanese actors I recognized actually on the big screen instead of just on video. Ken Watanabe, who I only knew from a small part in Tampopo was having great fun as the rogue samurai Katsumoto. All the time Hiroyuki Sanada spent with the Japan Action Club back in the day seems to have paid off since he can still swing a mean sword as the samurai Ujio. As the widow Taka, Koyuki was both lovely and slightly creepy, although that last bit may be my residual memories of her role in Kairo/Pulse. Heck, I'm sure I've even run across Seizo Fukumoto -the guy who played the samurai that wandered around guarding Algren- in other films.

Then there was Tom Cruise.

There are two different Tom Cruises out there, Tom Cruise the actor and Tom Cruise the movie star. Thing is, nobody really knows which one they hired for The Last Samurai. Those who were trying to promote The Last Samurai as the next Lawrence of Arabia -or at least the next Dances with Wolves- were certainly pretending it was Actor Tom who showed up. Those who were actually trying to get people to see the movie tried to hype up the image of Movie Star Tom being in the film. A period piece about non-American history is viewed in certain quarters of Hollywood as something that would be difficult to sell to the average audience. But when a movie star who has proved his worth in such films as Cocktail is added to the movie the film has a better chance of reaching a larger audience. At least that's my best guess as to how the thought process goes. Since nobody told Mr. Cruise which version of himself to be he sort of tries to be both and it doesn't work. Algren was supposed to be so far gone that he would get the shakes from not having a nearly steady supply of spirits in his system but when he finally dries up there's no noticeable difference between drunk, disillusioned Algren and the made peace with his war problems by joining a group of suicidally committed group of warriors Algren. He looks the same, acts the same and even has the same strut to his walk. Even the burnt out drunks in The Last Samurai look good.

This sense of gloss hangs over the entire picture. It's small wonder that Algren fell in love with the village he was stuck in, it was too good to be true. Everywhere he looked there was perfectly manicured grass and tidy, tiny rice fields. It's a fussy sense of decor and almost impossible cleanliness that you'll only find a goofy old chambara flick or the modern equivalent with The Last Samurai. Films of this ilk may make claims of historical accuracy but the best they can do is have a bunch of well washed actors walk around in dry cleaned and freshly pressed kimonos.

Speaking of historical accuracy, The Last Samurai seems to be loosely based on the revolt that Saigo Takamori ended up leading and losing, effectively ending the samurai's presence in Japan. From the little I know about Takamori he was a complex and conflicted individual but since The Last Samurai is more interested in shots of Tom Cruise eating dinner any sort of character depth is dropped. A sense of simplicity runs throughout The Last Samurai. Recasting samurai -a ruling class warrior group that were displaced by an emerging middle class- as put-upon noble natives is of dubious historical accuracy but would be okay if it worked in the context of the movie. The lack of historical perspective hits home at the end of the movie when the Emperor, with the help of Algren, embraces the samurai tradition along with his plans to modernize Japan. Set in 1876, The Last Samurai is only a bit over fifty years away from the Rape of Nanking, Pearl Harbor and other assorted nastiness that lead to World War 2. Melding modern technology with a combat ideal that would rather seek total destruction rather than compromise is, with the benefit of 21st century hindsight, not the best idea in the world.

By the way I've been coming down on The Last Samurai it may seem like I didn't like it. Truth is, I sort of enjoyed it while I was watching it. Even tossing a white guy into a strictly Japanese story didn't bother me all that much. Ever since Lancelot was introduced into the King Arthur legend stories have tried to find a way to help their primary audience identify with the tale even if it means introducing a foreigner into the plot. I was surprised that a group of samurai that were so reactionary that they rebelled against their own government were still so worldy that several of them knew English but that sort of shaky logic runs throughout The Last Samurai. It was only after the movie ended that I began to think about all the problems in the film. Long instead of epic, dropping any sense of complexity for nostalgic culture worship and male battlefield bonding, The Last Samurai pretends it's aspiring for greatness but ends up being little more than a remake of Shogun.

Questions, comments, and offers to lead a conscript army can be sent to gleep9@hotmail.com. Once you're done pondering how the scene of Algren teaching baseball to the local kids corresponds to the wretched Tom Selleck comedy Mr. Baseball head on back to either the Third Movie or Main page.