Just what is the deal with big, big burgers? I've seen the adds for Burger King's latest greaseball burger, the Big King, in which they claimed that, when compared to the Big Mac, it was better tasting, contained more ground-up cow, was better looking, kept it's room orderly, and was the superior burger to the slovengly McDonald's fare. On a whim, I decided to try one for dinner. I normally try to watch what I eat, but I figure a bit of fast food now and then isn't going to kill me, y'know? Plus, those two magical words "ON SALE" were affixed to the meal; how could I refuse?
It's been a long time since I've eaten something that made me think I was going to die, but the Big King drug me across the river Styx right up to death's door. It was more than simple indigestion, it was the lethargy that comes from a big, improper meal, as well as the feeling you consumed a big chunk of stuff that isn't good for you in the least.
Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale, but
that brush with processed meat got me thinking: maybe there really is something
to truth in advertising. The burger was called the Big King, how could I of
expected it to be anything less than a royally huge amount of ground chuck?
Considering that people will love something especially if it's bad for
them, maybe the folks at Burger King should give the burger a more dangerous
sounding name. Something like the "Big King Krusher." That makes it sound like
some sort of professional wrestler- the burger so big, it'll pin you flat to the
mat! Or if they want to abandon all sense of subtlty, they could just put out
a burger called the "Fat Bastard." Who wouldn't want to sink their teeth through
the marbled layers of that? Just think, you could order up a Double Fat Bastard
with Cheese! Mmmm... it makes my mouth water- and heart clog- just thinking
about it.
The lines on this page are known as "blue marble thick." Seems appropriate. Slough on out of here back to the pop musings page, or the main page.
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