Pompous Works of Literature!

Yes, this page is colored yellow in honor of those hoary old pieces of literature that are considered "classics" but usually end up yellowing and decomposing in the stacks of University libraries. Why these books are continually foisted upon unsuspecting students is beyond me. Perhaps it's to show them their place in academia; if they don't like ["appreciate" might be a better word] these books, they obviously aren't applying themselves enough. Maybe the professors have been so brainwashed by the profs who schooled them that they actually find these books are high art, while everything else is just lowbrow nattering. No matter, here's a quick listing of those books that aren't quite as good as everyone claims.

1. Beowulf While this one is livened up by some enjoyable violence, a majority of the narrative is dedicated to Beowulf tooting his own horn. Paragraph after paragraph is dedicated to Beowulf discussing just what a swell guy he is. When Beowulf finally does get done in, he still has enough energy left to chew out his men for not being more like him. In spite of the blow-hard Beowulf, the story is pretty good and interesting once you get into it. Plus, the story also served as a springboard for John Gardner's nihilistic tour-de-force "Grendel." I'm not sure that's necessarily a good thing.

2. Catcher in the Rye An upper-middle class white college boy wanders around feeling the world owes him something. I guess we're supposed to feel sorry for him.

3. Crime & Punishment The portrayl of the main character is so vivid you don't want to read about the weirdo. It's like being stuck in the mind of someone you would meet while riding on public transportation.

4. The Fountainhead If you want to learn about Ayn Rand's philosopical views, you would be much better served by reading some of her articles instead of trying to slog through this goofball colussus. Melodramatic cyphers of characters wander around far too many pages serving to drive home her points again and again. Or, you could watch the very faithful, and incomprehensible, movie that was made of the book.

5. Fans of Kafka Now I'm not going after Kafka here- I actually rather like his writing- but the people who groove to his writing. I'll use "The Metamorphosis" as an example. In the story Gregor's subsequent actions after transformating into a cockroach show just how out of sync he is with the world around him. His family is disgusted by him, even after he had been their main financial support when he was still human. Gregor dies while full of feelings of self-disgust, while his family continues on without him. Gregor, the unwanted exoskeleton messiah for his family. What I don't think Kafka wanted was for people to try to emulate Gregor. Instead of seeing the story as being full of gallows humor, these people instead think that Gregor offers a viable lifestyle alternative. Instead of wondering how they can set about helping to make the world a better place so this sort of social alienation won't take place, they decide that withdrawing completly from society is actually a good idea, and end up staying up all night reading Kafka, wearing the same clothes for days on end, and look down on the rest of the world as if they're better than it. I've seen it before, and it's pathetic.

Well, that was just off the top of my head. If you have anything you'd like to add, or would like to complain to me about, drop me a line at gleep9@hotmail.com and I'll get back to ya. If you haven't been overwhelmed with dust and hoary old literature, head on back to either the Literature or Main page.

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