Yeats v. Keats. Whitman v. Thoreau. Washington v. George III. Theseus of Parnassus v. Alexander the Great. These are the things America wants to see on television. I propose a television show in which two actors dressed as various opposing forces in history slug it out in an Ultimate Fighting (tm) arena. Anything goes. Kicking. Kidney punches. Biting. Bitch-slapping. A football in the groin. Each division goes on to face the winner of the next division. Thus, the best of beatnik poetry (Ferlenghetti v. Ginsberg) goes on to face the best martial poetry (Oliver W. Holmes v. E.B. Osborne) & onward to challenge the best folk poet in mortal combat (James Russell Lowell v. Algernon Swinburne) and so on and so forth.
It gives the public, a stupid public that insists on everything being subjective, a chance for all things to be subjective. They want to know who the Number One football team is. Very well. I propose to give it to them, along with a ranking of poets, artists, painters, inventors & so forth. A fight to the death will answer these burning questions of whether "Curious George" or "The Wizard of Id" are better than Hamlet or Van Gogh.
But I submit it to the World Council of No Homers & Guillame Flying Shriners for a majority assent. What say ye?
We are kind of like the Council of Elders on Superman's Home world when they sat about a cool chamber in glowing, silver, quasi-futuristic suits and banned that fellow to live inside the floating mirror in Superman I.
Thanks Shriner Micah. Choose your personal favorite part of this page by either clicking on the links to either the main page, or the pop page. Choose the winner now!
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