I listened to her as she heaved a heavy sigh
A tremor in her voice, she was ready to cry
She tells me her story, "I feel so used I wish I could die
Lonely was my childhood and I never understood
Why I was teased forever
by all the kids in the neighborhood

I tried so hard to befriend them
But I was always shunned
When they would hurl profanity
I never failed to be stunned
They were mean and cruel
taunting me, calling me a big, fat fool

I hated so much that I was fat
By the time I got to high school
I decided to change that

I went on a diet and got real slim
I became popular with the fellas then
I later found out a bet had been made
To see if one of them could get me "laid"
I was just a lonely person looking for love
Wanting to find someone I could take care of

I then found that someone (or so I thought)
He was much older than I
One day he asked me to marry
I decided to give it a try

But the years following had become a bore
For him any job had become a chore
The man had no ambition
Which I had plenty of
I went through a transition
And found another man to love

An affair soon transpired
He was exciting to me
He could get me real wired
almost instantly

His wife didn't understand him
Or so he had said
We used to have some soulful talks
While we were in bed

He seemed to be the soul mate I was looking for
I didn't want him for only a few hours, I wanted more
I decided to tell my husband I wanted a divorce
And then I told my lover this, of course

It never once crossed my mind
That our relationship would go awry
But my lover then told me
he decided to stay with his wife

I begged him to please come back
returning to her was a mistake
But my love for him
he chose to forsake

How I wish I'd never met him
Though I still love him so
My life is looking somewhat grim
But I refuse to let go

I still feel there's a chance that he'll come back to me
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be
For now all I do is cry
I feel so used
I wish I could die

Copyright ©2000 Edith Bael