Two's Company

A publicist for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen is on the phone, and she's not happy. "How could you make Mary-Kate and Ashley cry?" she shrieks. Not having interviewed them yet, I am fairly sure I have done nothing to America's favorite cutesome twosome to merit any emotional waterworks. "Someone called them yesterday and asked them questions no one is supposed to ask and they got so upset, hey cried!" she said. I politely explain that I have never spoken to the twins. She calms down, figures out the mix-up and goes off on the real culprit, a rival reporter. Judging from her reaction, I can only conclude that there should be a special spot in hell, right next to People Who Kick Puppies, reserved for Rogue Reporters Who Make Mary-Kate And Ashley Cry.

Not wanting to earn the same fate, I ask what topics are taboo. "Before I get into that," says the publicist, "I have to warn you that they are not in the interview mood these days. I don't know how your interview is going to go, to be honest. Just don't ask them any yes or no questions because that's how they're answer." Well, that should be exciting.

The irony is that the Olsen twins are hardly newcomers. They shared the role of Michelle on Full House at the diaper-donning age of 9 months. While full House was possibly a career highlight for some of its co-stars, the twins parlayed their popularity into a multimedia dynasty. M-K & A have no less than 26 videos (which have sold 20 million copies), 18 books (6 million copies), music vids (also over a million) and now the direct-to-vid Billboard Dad. Clearly, not a pair who shun the spotlight.

Despite all this, their publicist is right-they are in no mood to chat. Given the incredible adulation of their audience (their Web site alone gets 30 millions hits a year), you have to wonder if their fans know them better than they know themselves. The first thing you are not supposed to ask them about? Money. As in how much they have. According to their publicist, Mary-Kate and Ashley have no idea they're worth bankfulls of cash. It's hard to believe they haven't equated their huge success with dollars, but evidently there is an effort on the part of their handlers to keep this fact from them. "If you talk about how much they make, their father will hang up immediately," warns their publicist. Mary-Kate and Ashley, if you are reading this, put down the magazine. And then go ask for a raise in your allowance.

Roughly speaking, between their Full House years, videos, books, movies, albums and TV series Two of a Kind, the twins will generate over $1 billion in sales by the time they turn 13 in June. When they started Full House, they shared a $2,400 per episode paycheck. By the time they finished the show's run in 1997, that figure was up to $80,000. Their first two TV movies? Mary-Kate and Ashley each got $500,000. by the time they made their third TV movie How the West Was Fun, their fee doubled to $1 million-each. When shooting their first feature film It Takes Two, director Andy Tennant overheard the girls discussing their salaries. Ashley figured they must be making $5 a week. "No way," said Mary-Kate, "We've got to be making at least $10."

Another no-no is asking about their folks. In February 1996, tabloids dished the dirt on the breakup of the twins' parents Jarnie and Dave. Denials were everywhere. "It was very important to some people that everything associated with them appear wholesome," remembers a source about the troubled time. The happy-family party line was quickly disconnected when Dave Olsen married a former co-worker a month later. the divorce and their father's speedy recoupling took its toll on the two. Matter of fact, says one insider, Dave's wedding sparked one of the few serious conflicts between the twins-only Mary-Kate attended the ceremony. Ashley chose to stay home with their mother.

While it's practically refreshing to see the privacy of two celebrities so fiercely guarded, their parents' divorce is one of the few things the twins could talk about that would make them seem almost normal. Think about it-they have never known any life other than performing. Imagine spending your whole life not being able to walk outside without everyone staring at you. How do you know if your friends are real? when asked, the twins reply, "Some people at school are jealous, but most like us."

Dave Olsen says, "A conscious effort has been made to give them a normal life." As normal as life can be when you're this hot of a commodity. Their contracts call for them to work about five months out of the year. The balance is spent at home in San Fernando Valley, attending school, doing ballet (Ashley) and horseback riding (Mary-Kate).

Normal kids also don't have a watchdog group to ensure they aren't exploited. Paul Petersen heads A Minor Consideration, an association of former child stars. This group monitors kid actors like the Olsens. Says Petersen, "How much work is enough? Kid actors always say they're normal, but in reality they're meal tickets. They don't have a clue they are missing out on a real childhood."

The girls' lawyer/manager Robert Thorne insists they are in control: "We ask them about each project and only go ahead if they say yes. They make suggestions; they are involved." The latest project is a new direct-to-video movie set in Paris. When asked about it, Mary-Kate is excited about their upcoming trip. She just has no clue what the movie is about. Evidently, her involvement in the flick doesn't include knowing anything about the plot or, say, the title. "I don't exactly know what it is called yet. It's about...uh...uh...I'm not sure." She covers the receiver and consults with Dad. "It's about uncle," she continues. "He lives there. And e go shopping! I love department stores."

The twins hope their tour guide can take them to see the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the Mona Lisa. They look forward to eating Italian and seem bummed to learn Paris isn't known for pasta. "Do they have bread and olive oil there?" asks Mary-Kate. Again that would be Italy. "Oh," says Mary-Kate, "we should have made a movie there."

Paris may be one of the few places where the twins can kick back without major crowd control. Things got crazy at Mall of America last February during a promo for Mary-Kate and Ashley's Mall Party and Billboard Dad. While it was hardly the first time they were surrounded by screaming fans, standing in the center of five levels packed with people proved to be too much. They panicked and had to be coaxed on stage by their father. "It was so scary," remembers Mary-Kate. She adds that it was also exciting. So exciting that she and Ashley "wanted to crawl under the stage."

Producers carve out specific traits for them. Mary-Kate is usually portrayed as the sporty one and Ashley the boy-crazy clotheshorse. Says one observer, "Mary-Kate and Ashley are unchallenged in the young girl market. The thinking goes that girls are either tomboys or girlie-girls. Between the two of them, the Olsens have that covered."

Both girls resist the stereotypes, even seem hostile they are viewed in such a one-dimensional way. "I like clothes," says Ashley, "but so does Mary-Kate. She just likes casual stuff, and I like to dress up more." And Mary-Kate isn't exactly the sports fiend. When asked about her favorite team, she's stumped. Ashley says Mary-Kate just "isn't into sports that much. She just likes to do it during school. But we met the Lakers!"

The twins will conquer the final marketing frontier this Christmas-they will be action figures. Just in time for the millennium, Mattel will reveal Barbie's two new pals-yep, Mary-Kate and Ashley. Fans should get a chuckle out of this as more than one fan site quotes the pair as hating Barbie. Ashley sets the record straight; "We don't hate Barbie." As evidence, Ashley reports that she and a bud recently chopped the hair off several Barbies before giving another girl and impromptu trim. Says Ashley, "I want to give someone a Meg Ryan."

With their 13th birthday weeks away (June 13), inevitable questions arise. How long can they keep it up? How long can they we marketed as everygirls? How long can they be, gasp, cute?

Among with all the other unmentionables, you can bet your Barbie no one has discussed with them the fate of other child sitcom stars. Thorne, their lawyer, is thinking along the Jodie Foster lines-acting, directing, winning an Oscar. Says Jim Green, a producer who has worked with the twins, "They are going through a transition right now. They are going to have to reinvent themselves." Guiding them through this tough time is Thorne. "Their popularity grew by leaps and bounds after [Full House] despite the industry's prediction that their career was over," gloats Thorne. "This franchise never stops."