If anybody in the bar responds, who said what (usually,
everybody in the bar laughs, except in 8F08)
What Moe says when he realizes it's the crank caller
Moe's response to the caller
7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie Moe: Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there
an Al Coholic here? Wait a minute...
Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if
I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!
Bart and Lisa laugh
7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Moe: Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff! Marge picks up the extension and hears: Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you,
I swear I'll cut your belly open!
* 7G03 (Homer's Odyssey)
Bart with Lisa
Moe: Uh, I.P. Freely? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely! Wait a minute...
Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of
you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Bart and Lisa laugh
7G06 (Moaning Lisa)
Bart with Lisa
Moe: Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking
for a Jacques Strap! Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap
It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When
I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!
Bart laughs
7F11 (One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish)
Bart with Lisa
Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz?
Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz! Oh, wait a minute...
Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When
I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!
Bart and Lisa laugh
7F15 (Principal Charming)
Bart (in Principal Skinner's office)
Moe: Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on,
one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual! Homer says "Don't look at me!" Moe: Oh, no...
You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of
you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!
Skinner, on the other end of the line, says "You'll
do what, young man?"
* 7F22 (Blood Feud)
Moe: Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen
Mike Rotch lately? Listen, you little puke. One of these days, I'm
going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an
ice pick!
8F02 (Treehouse of Horror II)
Bart with Mrs. Krabappel and one of the Sherri/Terri
twins
Moe: Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with
an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own
butt Oh, wait a minute...
Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then
laughs as well
8F08 (Flaming Moe's)
Bart
Moe: Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's
room for a Hugh Jass! There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's; he takes the call
8F09 (Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk)
Bart
Moe: Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys,
do I have a Bea O'Problem here? Barney says "You sure do!" Moe: Oh...it's you, isn't it?
Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going
to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Bart laughs
9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Bart
Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking
for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss? Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!" Moe: You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who
you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving
dogs in your butt! Bart tells Moe his name is Jimbo Jones and gives
his own address: Jimbo and Laura Powers are making out in Bart's living
room
9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Laura Powers with Bart
Moe: Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tankle? All right, everybody,
put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle! Laura and Bart laugh
2F19 (The PTA Disbands)
This isn't at Moe's; Moe is taking over as the substitute
teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present"
or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath? The students in the classroom laugh All right, settle down. Anita Bath here? More laughs All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks! Still more laughs Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get
it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children,
I can't help that!
Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart
crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers By:
Alejandro Gil López
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