Top 100 reasons to be a Women
1.women can get laid anytime they want
2.women never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3.women piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk
4.women get out of speeding tickets by crying
5.women get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6.women can sleep our way to the top of the class
7.women get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8.women can marry rich and then not have to work
9.women never have to pay when they go out on dates
10.men take women on all expense paid trips - all women have to do is sleep with them
11.men light cigarettes for women
12.men hold the door open for women
13.Women pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14.women are cuter
15.women lie better
16.women are better manipulators
17.women always end up sleeping in the bed when they fight with their other halves -
men get the couch
18.women always have food in the fridge
19.when women cook, it doesn't precede a trip to the ER or a visit from the fire dept.
20.women always get to choose the movie
21.women don't have to mow the lawn
22.women don't have to take out the garbage
23.women don't have to paint the house or walls
24.PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men
25.Cosmopolitan
26.women can con their way out of anything - not just dig themselves deeper into a
hole
27.men unlock the woman's side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold
28.PMS is a legal defense for murder
29.men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
30.women can masturbate more in a day than men
31.2 words - multi orgasmic
32.women don't have to constantly adjust their genitals
33.sweat is sexy on women
34.so men never run out of excuses
35.guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but women could be having it that
often
36.doggie style - that way women get to watch the game too
37.women get expensive jewelry as gifts that they NEVER have to give back
38.women get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time cuz men fuck up so often
39.women can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner
40.women are cleaner
41.women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you men didn't know)
42.women are better arguers
43.women don't always have to think with their genitals
44.massage!!!!
45.women are better parents
46.women never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
47.there's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
48.women are flexible
49.when women get pissed they don't destroy property or hurt people - they just take
it out on the world in general because they can
50.menopause - thank god women not capable of having children after there 50
51.menstruation - just another excuse to use so they can say "no" to sex
52.men in uniform
53.there is no penis envy
54.women can just roll over and go to sleep after they masturbate because there's no
messy clean-up
55.it generally takes women less to get drunk
56.women have a higher tolerance to pain
57.women often get to cut in line
58.most women actually look good in short shorts - men DONT
59.better tips
60.women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its
rather disgusting
61.women have mastered civilized eating - they don't embarrass their friends or make
loud bodily noises in public
62.women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting -
thank god for long pants and perfume!
63.women can connive men into doing their homework, writing their papers or carrying
their books anytime they want
64.women don't have excessive amounts of body hair
65.women don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet
66.men will pay women for sex
67.smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make women sterile
68.women can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
69.men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but women
can have sex with an entire football team at once if they want
70.men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he
gets hurt not us
71.women sweat less
72.women smell better
73.when women make their boyfriends mad, they don't have to waste money on flowers
or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all
74.men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
75.women don't get the humor in the three stooges
76.women have three accessible holes
77.they don't get embarrassed when buying tampons
78.women are better gossips
79.women have better fashion sense
80.women are better shoppers
81.women don't have to make fools out of themselves to impress a man
82.women's friends don't pick on them if we aren't sleeping with anyone
83.men don't know what women's 'girl talk' is all about
84.women are all siting' on a gold mine - they know it and use it to their extreme
advantage
85.women don't have to drive when on a date
86.an ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly
men are just fucked
87.women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line
88.women know how fake it
89.women look better naked
90.women know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing
91.when women are short, they're petite, when men are short, they're just short
92.women do less time for violent crime
93.women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up
94.an oblong vegetable is all women need for a good time any night
95.women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep OK then
bye"
96.women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
97.women never have to see combat
98.the remote control is not an extension of ourselves
99.women are sexier
100.women can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY they want it!