Top 100 reasons to be a Women

1.women can get laid anytime they want

2.women never have to buy our own drinks at the bar

3.women piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk

4.women get out of speeding tickets by crying

5.women get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg

6.women can sleep our way to the top of the class

7.women get to shop at Victoria's Secret

8.women can marry rich and then not have to work

9.women never have to pay when they go out on dates

10.men take women on all expense paid trips - all women have to do is sleep with them

11.men light cigarettes for women

12.men hold the door open for women

13.Women pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)

14.women are cuter

15.women lie better

16.women are better manipulators

17.women always end up sleeping in the bed when they fight with their other halves -

men get the couch

18.women always have food in the fridge

19.when women cook, it doesn't precede a trip to the ER or a visit from the fire dept.

20.women always get to choose the movie

21.women don't have to mow the lawn

22.women don't have to take out the garbage

23.women don't have to paint the house or walls

24.PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men

25.Cosmopolitan

26.women can con their way out of anything - not just dig themselves deeper into a

hole

27.men unlock the woman's side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold

28.PMS is a legal defense for murder

29.men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever

30.women can masturbate more in a day than men

31.2 words - multi orgasmic

32.women don't have to constantly adjust their genitals

33.sweat is sexy on women

34.so men never run out of excuses

35.guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but women could be having it that

often

36.doggie style - that way women get to watch the game too

37.women get expensive jewelry as gifts that they NEVER have to give back

38.women get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time cuz men fuck up so often

39.women can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner

40.women are cleaner

41.women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you men didn't know)

42.women are better arguers

43.women don't always have to think with their genitals

44.massage!!!!

45.women are better parents

46.women never have to sit home alone on a weekend night

47.there's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men

48.women are flexible

49.when women get pissed they don't destroy property or hurt people - they just take

it out on the world in general because they can

50.menopause - thank god women not capable of having children after there 50

51.menstruation - just another excuse to use so they can say "no" to sex

52.men in uniform

53.there is no penis envy

54.women can just roll over and go to sleep after they masturbate because there's no

messy clean-up

55.it generally takes women less to get drunk

56.women have a higher tolerance to pain

57.women often get to cut in line

58.most women actually look good in short shorts - men DONT

59.better tips

60.women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its

rather disgusting

61.women have mastered civilized eating - they don't embarrass their friends or make

loud bodily noises in public

62.women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting -

thank god for long pants and perfume!

63.women can connive men into doing their homework, writing their papers or carrying

their books anytime they want

64.women don't have excessive amounts of body hair

65.women don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet

66.men will pay women for sex

67.smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make women sterile

68.women can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

69.men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but women

can have sex with an entire football team at once if they want

70.men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he

gets hurt not us

71.women sweat less

72.women smell better

73.when women make their boyfriends mad, they don't have to waste money on flowers

or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all

74.men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats

75.women don't get the humor in the three stooges

76.women have three accessible holes

77.they don't get embarrassed when buying tampons

78.women are better gossips

79.women have better fashion sense

80.women are better shoppers

81.women don't have to make fools out of themselves to impress a man

82.women's friends don't pick on them if we aren't sleeping with anyone

83.men don't know what women's 'girl talk' is all about

84.women are all siting' on a gold mine - they know it and use it to their extreme

advantage

85.women don't have to drive when on a date

86.an ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly

men are just fucked

87.women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line

88.women know how fake it

89.women look better naked

90.women know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing

91.when women are short, they're petite, when men are short, they're just short

92.women do less time for violent crime

93.women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up

94.an oblong vegetable is all women need for a good time any night

95.women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep OK then

bye"

96.women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood

97.women never have to see combat

98.the remote control is not an extension of ourselves

99.women are sexier

100.women can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY they want it!

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