Yo Mama Disses

*Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing
up

*Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

*Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

*Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise

*Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

*Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

*Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

*Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the
new world

*Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free
Willy

*Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

*Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

*Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

*Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

*Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

*Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

*Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

*Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A.,
Chicago...

*Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

*Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

*Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

*Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to
fuck her

*Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's
good side!

*Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

*Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride
HER!

*Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george
washington's nose.

*Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

*Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

*Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

*Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

*Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

*Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

*Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

*Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

*Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

*Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

*Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

*Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

*Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

*Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

*Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

*Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin
tights!

*Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

*Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

*Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

*Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

*Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

*Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping,
they hit the ground.

Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep.

*Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

*Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get
again.

*Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.

*Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

*Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

*Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

*Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

*Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

*Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

*Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

*Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass

*Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the
other side just to get her through

*Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have
to install speed bumps.

*Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

*Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

*Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

*Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to
land on her back!

*Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back
in the water

*Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

*Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

*Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her
waist they spelled out boulevard.

*Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

*Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

*Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and
tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

*Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the
bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

*Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

*Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

*Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a
tunnel when they want to clean it.

*Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

*Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green
arrow!

*Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch
marks.

*Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her
farts!!!

*Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we
dressed her as a Chevrolet.

*Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship

*Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

*Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons

*Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her

*Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with
sandals!!!

*Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck
off!!!

*Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!

*Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development

*Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"

*Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans

*Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck

*Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

*Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign,
she went home and got 16 friends

*Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because
she couldn't read

*Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just ton make-up her
mind

*Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

*Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

*Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

*Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

*Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

*Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

*Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

*Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

*Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

*Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

*Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

*Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below
the dotted line she put "O.K."

*Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

*Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

*Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

*Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

*Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

*Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize
winners.

*Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

*Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked,"M, F
and sometimes Wednesday too."

*Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

*Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

*Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at
McDonalds!

*Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

*Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

*Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at
home.

*Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice
instead.

*Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

*Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

*Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

*Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put
"Hooked on Phonics."

*Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your
house.

*Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

*Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her
birthday.

*Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course

*Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book

*Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

*Yo momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"

*Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus

*Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg

*Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper

*Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said
"Disneyworld Left" so she went home.

*Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said
"guess" so she said levi's

*Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
professionals."

*Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

*Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

*Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

*Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

*Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star
Wars.

*Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they
put it around her neck

*Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

*Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence
cameras

*Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

*Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs
to play with
her.

*Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say
"Damn, is it Halloween already?"

*Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

*Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

*Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

*Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

*Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for
a quote!

*Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

*Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

*Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

*Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

*Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

*Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

*Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life

*Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

*Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to
bury her.

*Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

*Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

*Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he
doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

*Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather
kiss her ass.

*Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow

*Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

*Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!

*Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!

*Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

*Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

*Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

*Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

*Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

*Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

*Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

*Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

*Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

*Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

*Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

*Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and
said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

*Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse

*Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang

*Yo momma so old even God calls her mother!

*Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her
what she was doing, she said "Moving."

*Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

*Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

*Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's
fingers!!!

*Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

*Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

*Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

*Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

*Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What
ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

*Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.

*Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air
conditioning.

*Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money

*Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard

*Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

*Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

*Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb.

*Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed.

*Yo momma so short she models for trophys.

*Yo momma so short she is the original Q-tip

*Yo momma so short she poll vaults with a toothpick

*Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut
her hair and she opened up her shirt

*Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs
fresh!

*Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.

*Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach

*Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.

*Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

*Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

*Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.

*Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

*Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear
infection.

*Yo momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place

*Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarentine since before she was born

*Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease
and Yo momma

*Yo momma so nasty the bitches teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity
Creeps!!!

*Yo momma so nasty she has two pussys and they both stink.

*Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea

*Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her

*Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

*Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

*Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!

*Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!

*Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

*Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

*Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!

*Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!

*Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

*Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

*Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!

*Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

*Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

*Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

*Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded

*Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in
the gutter

*Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.

*Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"

*Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

*Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.

*Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

*Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.

*Yo momma like a potatoe chip seller on 42nd street, "LAYS! LAYS!..."

*Yo momma like castlebury stew: servings are family size

*Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

*Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!

*Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

*Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

*Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody
calls her Hair Jordan.

*Yo momma so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!

*Yo momma so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker