Continuing after Emile remembers to switch the recorder on.

I've just asked Noah what kind of music he listens to besides country-western...

N: Arabic music, I like instrumental stuff - people like Ennio Morricone. I just like any sort of music that's passionate [and] invokes a feeling, rather than a straight 3/4 beat [mimics a beat with his hand] or nice singer. I like all kinds of music.

E: I read a quote where you had described The Thirteens as three manic-depressives playing sad music for sad people, but you got happy in the process.

N: That was the idea. All three members of the band are pretty depressed types, and I put the band together for that reason - so mainly these two other people could have something to do. I felt we had some kind of insight into sorrow. And then we ended up having a good time doing it. Of course it didn't last.

E: When did you first start playing music?

N: I went to a high school that had a very big music department. When I was 13, I played the viola and French horn for awhile, and then in "The Year My Voice Broke" I had to sort of halfway learn to play guitar - which I didn't really - but, that's the first time I picked up a guitar. So, I guess I started playing guitar from about 16.

E: Do you still play the French horn or viola?

N: No, I was a very lazy classical music student. Sort of a dyslexic. I had real trouble reading music, and I would sort of fake my way through orchestra rehearsals. I've got quite a good ear for music, [however,] and I don't have to fake my way through a lot.

Also, I started growing, really, in the last 6 years, I guess. But I was tiny as a child at 13.

Noah does a yea-high thing to illustrate how tall he was that isn't much taller than our table. I don't get the sense he's exaggerating.

I was really tiny, and my arms were too short for the viola, which is like a big violin.

I played both of those instruments for about two years - it was in the parameters [that you had to] play an instrument at school. That can really kill any sort of love of music when you're in a school environment. They teach kids music really badly. I think that they should just give them an instrument and let them do whatever for awhile until they develop some sense of enjoyment.

I [also] used to play drums in primary school. The military drums - marching band [mimics drum playing with a goofy grin on his face. E & T laugh]. Sort of stupid stuff.

N: Yeah, they should teach you a passion for it first, and then if you want to get better you have to learn these things. But it just seems like algebra or something. [We all voice our agreement].

E: One of your friends emailed me that you're a very serious artist.

N: Oh, really? I used to be. I haven't done much for awhile. That's the thing that frustrates me about acting, I guess, because it's really not something I've ever been passionate about and I'm really kind of angry at myself that I hadn't pursued either art or painting or music. If I hadn't stumbled into "The Year My Voice Broke," and the work [hadn't] just kept appearing - I've never really been in a position where I'm looking for work - had that not happened, there's no way I would have pursued acting. I think I would have pursued music and painting a bit more. And I feel I'll never be happy unless I try and follow through on that one day.

I go through periods of being a serious painter. I'm not going do one thing at a time like play music or paint or act, but I can't seem to do them all at once.

E: What media do you use?

N: Mainly drawing and oil painting.

E: Is it something you find therapeutic?

N: Totally. It's therapeutic and I feel passionate about it. To me that's what art is about - when you don't really have any control over your desires to do it. Acting's pretty much just a job - the wrong reason to do it, I think. But the last couple of years I've concentrated more on music than painting.

E: Who are some of your favorite artists?

N: I'm really terrible with these sort of "who are your favorite whatever" questions, but... I like a lot of "naive art." I don't like the term, but they call it "outsider art," you know - paintings by non-famous artists and mental patients. I like a lot of the paintings you find in places like Haiti, or voodoo art. I like a lot of art that's got connections beyond aesthetic value - like a lot of primitive style [art]. And I like obvious people like Van Gogh and Chagall and Magritte, and I like a lot of the Surrealist stuff.

N: My ex-girlfriend's mother is a sort of Jungian analyst, and I went through a period where I was completely cracked up. It's a way of understanding life and how your mind operates that I found to be very true. It seems essential to try to find some meaning to life and I guess Jungian philosophy is the one that's helped me understand myself and the world more than anything else. I think he's one of the great thinkers of our time.

It's a hard thing to of explain, but his analysis of dreams are very interesting. [His theories of] synchronicity and meaningful coincidence I found very interesting, and it's been a way for me to be able to find some reason not to jump off a cliff or whatever... I think I'm a slightly mentally disturbed person and I need something to steer me through life a bit.

That is when I, quite unexpectedly, go There - like the spirit of Oprah has possessed me.

E: Have you ever gone to therapy...or wanted to?

As the words slip out of my mouth, I think, "NOOOO!!! What the hell am I doing?!" Teresa looks at me as if I've lost my mind, then looks at Noah to gauge his reaction. Mercifully, he doesn't miss a beat.

N: No. There's a term for it - I can't remember what it is - but where you resist help purposely even though you need it. I think it would be a good idea to go. And I probably will one of these days. But I always felt I had other things to spend my money on. The completely wrong attitude.

E: You strike me as someone who's very well read and socially aware. Are there any causes that you're actively involved in?

N: Yeah, I was quite involved in the East Timor [protest], which I guess people here don't know a whole lot about it. It's this island - it's quite close to Australia - and the Indonesian government invaded it in about '77. It's this tiny island no one really knows about and it's been subjected to torture, and their culture's been annihilated and no one really does anything about it. They have no rights and the Australian government has done a lot of sh**ty things - ignoring it - so it's something I'm quite passionate about.

And aboriginal land rights and aboriginal issues are quite important to me [as well].

E: I read that you were raised a Catholic. Do you believe in organized religion?

N: Not really, but if it works for people that's fine. I guess the world seems to be more of a violent, immoral place since organized religion doesn't really have such a grip on Western culture. I don't know if that's true for America, because America always seems so religion crazy. Too much so.

E: It does. A couple of friends of mine who have gone abroad said that people told them Americans definitely strike them as more fervent.

N: It seems crazy that the religious groups have so much power over censorship. I think spirituality is a good thing but I dislike any sort of dogmatic organization.

N: I've been going to Italy quite a bit the last couple of years. That's definitely my favorite place. It's probably the only time I ever feel completely relaxed and happy and sane, partially because it's a such a disorganized place, I can fit in and appear to be quite normal and organized.

Italy is definitely where I feel most at home, or alternatively, living in total wilderness, in the bush in Australia. I really like New York, but not for too long.

E: Do you prefer Sydney or Melbourne?

N: I think I prefer Melbourne. It's a lot more bohemian and... cultured sounds very snobby, but it's a more varied, interesting place and a more creative place. I think [Melbourne has] a lot more character. Sydney's more a shallow place... [It's much like] the LA - New York thing. [E & T laugh]

T: I was just about to say that.

N: It's the weather thing, you know. It's true. If a place is cold and has bad weather, then people go indoors and they write and read at home.

E: An Australian fan sent this question: "What do you think of the stereotype of Australia as a cultural no-man's land, when in fact many wonderful films have come out of Australia?"

N: Yeah, it's absolutely rubbish that it's a cultural no-man's land. It's the "cultural cringe," you know. Since it's a small population [and] because it's so remote and far away, people have a real craving for knowledge and information from the rest of the world. You'll always find Australians traveling. If you go to the moon there'll probably be an Australian there. [E & T laugh] Because they feel that everything else is happening in the rest of the world, they actually gather up a lot of information. So, yeah, definitely not the case.

T: How's Perth?

N: Perth? Perth is a cultural no-man's land, yeah. [E & T laugh] Perth's almost like another country. It's closer to Johannesburg in Africa than it is any other Australian city.

E: What books are you reading nowadays?

N: I read a lot of crime fiction. Like Jim Thompson, James Ellroy, Chester Himes - a Black crime writer from the 40's. [I read] a lot of really good Black crime fiction from the '50's, but no one here really gives them notice. But they're the only things I've read that I really want to get made into a film. I can't believe that no one's picked them up - I'm sure they will one day.

E: A lot of fans have asked if there's going to be a third film in the Danny Embling trilogy.

N: It's possible. It's really up to John Duigan, the director, I guess. I guess he's been busy doing other things, and the idea was to wait until I looked much older - but that seems to take quite a long time. It'll have to be a really fantastic script for me to want to do it. I don't really have any interest in rehashing characters - you're like Lassie or something. [E & T laugh]

E: I've got a few of what I call "Pure Fluff" questions that I have to ask you. Feel free to not to answer them...

N: [grinning] Do you mind if I run and light a cigarette?

E: Oh, no.

E: This one is coming from many fans: "If it's not too personal for you, would you mind telling us about your tattoos?"

N: No. There's not very much to tell. They're all based on a few girls. [Pointing to tattoos on left arm] That's a girl, that's a girl, that's a girl, and then the rest are just The Thirteens... [Pointing to tattoos on right arm] The Thirteens...That's a girl. [E & T laugh] Anyone I've fallen in love with or been dumped [by] or broken up [with], usually.

E: I've heard a completely different theory that every time your relationship with movies soured...

N: That's partly true. I think that's also coupled with other reasons, but, yeah, I had got them as a way to put a bit of distance between me and film. Because it's not a good thing for an actor, you know [E & T laugh]. I thought about getting them on my face to really screw up my acting career.

E: Ha, ha, ha. Don't do that.

N: [shaking head] No, I resisted that. But mainly it just boils down to being young and dumb, I guess.

E: Did you really do a commercial dressed as a chicken?

N: Um, nah, I think I made that up. I did a really dumb ad - Mars Country Woolwash. And I've done a Kentucky Fried Chicken ad. It got banned...

E: It got banned?

N: Yeah! It was on for one day. It was made by the guy who made "Down, Rusty Down." It's like a psychedelic crucifixion scene. Yeah, I don't know what Kentucky Fried Chicken thought they were getting into. [E &T are rolling.] It was completely out there.

E: This is coming from a lot of fans too: "Why did you grow the moustache?"

N: [chuckles] Don't know - I just kind of like it.

I figure I'm pushing it asking about the goatee, so I move on...

E: Last year, why did you shave your head?

N: Who are these people? How do they know I shaved my head?

E: We have proof, actually. [N raises an eyebrow. E & T laugh]

N: Oh, I don't know. I shave my head every couple of years - I think it'll change things or something. It's usually when I'm a bit nutty - "Taxi Driver," you know? [E & T laugh]. I don't know why I cut it... I'll usually cut my own hair, and it starts off with a haircut [mimics scissoring through hair] and I keep at it until it's bad and there's not much left and [I have] bald patches, you know. [E & T still laughing]. And the only real option is to shave it, really. That's how it happens.

N: I'm really hopeless as an interview subject, as you're probably aware.

E: No! No, actually, compared to what I had read, I'm surprised...

N: Oh, that I'd be really troublesome. I don't know why...

E. Me neither.

N: Well, it's why I don't like doing interviews. I've been screwed over by so many journalists, it's just incredible.

E: I wonder why that happens - they just make you a target.

N: Well, I think early on somebody writes something and they're just really lazy and they [say] "oh, he's a weird, difficult person." [And I become the] "Weird, Difficult Person." I don't know why they say these things.

E: Do you think being a child of journalists has anything to do with your aversion to publicity?

N: It might do. Mainly it just has to do with [the fact that] I don't feel comfortable talking about myself.

E: Is it getting easier to handle the publicity?

N: [Thinks, then sighs] Yes and no. Not really. It'd be easier if I was content. It's hard to talk about something if you feel embarrassed about what you do. I don't know - it just always feels very pretentious to sit and talk about yourself.

T: I have a question - how did you get involved with the Blur video?

N: They just asked me, and I don't know why I agreed to do it. It was very weird. I kind of like them, and I ended up really liking the guy who made it [director John Hardwick]. They gave me thousands of CD's - Capitol Records, you know - everything from Beastie Boys to Frank Sinatra. Had nothing better to do.

E: That reminds me... how did you get involved with the Jon Rose album? [Blank stare from N] Violin [Music] for Supermarkets? The one where you did the soap-opera acting? [N continues the blank stare. But I know I didn't just pull this out of nowhere] Oh, God... [E rifles through bag] I don't even have it with me, do I?

N: Is this a radio thing?

E: No, it's a CD with bizarre violin music, and you and Miranda Otto are listed as doing soap-opera acting.

N: That's really weird. I vaguely remember doing something for a radio program. But I've got no idea what that is. That's really weird. [Indignant] Someone's using it without my permission.

E: Whoops! I can send you a tape of it, actually. That's kind of frightening when I remember something you don't.

N: [Nodding in agreement. Thanks, Noah.] I know I did something for radio. That sounds a bit like that. Some wacky, obscure sort of thing, but certainly I didn't say I meant this for an album or anything... Hmmm...

As Noah contemplates who to serve papers to, I switch gears, asking Noah who first told him about the website, but he can't remember.

E: I was just wondering what your reaction was when you first saw the website.

N: [grinning, in a cracked voice] It was quite strange. [mimicking typing] Do you get many people going into it?

E: Yeah, it finally got listed on a good search engine, so basically they just type in your name and find us now.

N: Oh, well, I'm really quite honored. [E & T laugh] Thank you.

[Long pause]

T: Hmmm...

E: Well...

N: Well... [lifting his mug of Coke] Cheers. Really nice to meet you.

E: Same here!

T: Me too.

We clink our mugs together.

Teresa for holding my hand. You can put away the Epsom Salts now.
Teresa and Melissa for being "Noah" in practice sessions.
E.Beth for reviewing all 100 drafts of the questions - don't worry, hon, Teresa remembered the Blur one.
Aisling for her impeccable talent for deciphering Australian accents.
All my friends for good vibes, crossed fingers and suggestions.
John Cann for making it possible.
And of course, thank you Noah!

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