This is has almost nothing to do with the X-Files. Originally, however, I compiled this list, for the benefit of scores of X-Philes who stormed Los Angeles from February 5-8, 1999 for the X-Files Xeminar at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel.

I hope you will find it useful should you ever be in the Hollywood area:

This is just a smattering of places I've been to or have had recommended to me. I claim no responsibility, blah, blah, blah.

The thing you want to do as soon as you get to LA is pick up an LA Weekly - the free Bible to just about anything worth seeing and doing here - dance clubs, jazz clubs, concerts, museums, etc. You'll also find discount passes to clubs in the Weekly.

Geography Lesson

Section 1: The Essentials

Section 2: Memorabilia Places

Section 3: Things to do: Daytime

• X-Files related
• Other

Section 4: Things to do: Nighttime

• Comedy Clubs
• Bars
• Dance clubs

Section 5: Restaurants and Cafes

A few words on geography:

• Hollywood is where the hotel is.
• Silverlake, is east of Hollywood, not too far.
• Los Feliz is north of Silverlake and Hollywood, again not too far
• West Hollywood is, well, west of Hollywood.
• Beverly Hills is southwest of Hollywood, on surface streets the drive is about 20 min.
• Downtown LA is about 15-20 min south of Hollywood on the 5, 10, 101 or 110
• Burbank/Toluca Lake - just over the Hollywood hills (taking Cahuenga Blvd.) north of where you'll be.
• Marina Del Rey is west, close to the beach and near Venice and Santa Monica, and you need to allow for the travel time on the 10 or 405 (figure anywhere from 30-45 min depending on traffic)
• Long Beach is about 30-45 min south of Hollywood.

Section 1: THE ESSENTIALS

• Cyberjava Internet Cafe
  Hours: 7am-midnight Sunday-Tuesday, 7am-3am Wednesday-Saturday
  Rates per computer: $9 per hour - cash, checks, Visa/Mastercard accepted
  (323) 466-5600
  7080 Hollywood at La Brea, Hollywood, on the ground floor of an office building
  
• World Book and News - 24 hour international newsstand
  (323) 465-4352
  On Cahuenga at Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Blockbuster Video (you can rent VCRs for $10 + a $50 deposit)
  (323) 851-2688
  7833 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood (near Fairfax)
  
• Rocket Video (Independent store with wider selection than Blockbuster. You can rent DVD players here too.)
  (323) 965-1100
  726 N. La Brea Ave., Hollywood (north of Melrose)

Section 2: MEMORABILIA PLACES - HOLLYWOOD

These first 4 are a looong walk on Hollywood from the hotel - I would suggest taking a car to get to these since there is a free parking garage nearby.

To get there, go east on Hollywood, take a left on Cherokee, go to the end of the block - the garage is on the right side (DON'T park at the expensive one on the left). Parking free for 2 hours.

• Hollywood Book and Poster 323/465-8764
  6562 Hollywood Blvd.
  Posters, magazines, photos, slides (they'll print photos and mail them to you) - can find photos from just about any film
  
• Starworld 323/469-0757
  6665 Hollywood Blvd.
  More of the same - focuses more on actors than films
  
• Book City 323/466-2525
  6627 Hollywood Blvd. - Bookstore
  6631 Hollywood Blvd. - Collectibles
  
• Larry Edmunds Bookstore 323/463-3273
  6644 Hollywood Blvd.

(These 3 stores are a bit of a drive away from the other stores on Hollywood Blvd., but there's metered parking for all of them.)

• Cinema Collectors 323/461-6516
  1507 Wilcox Ave. (between Sunset and Hollywood), Hollywood
  (Posters, publicity photos)
  
• Samuel French bookstore 323/876-0570
  7623 W. Sunset (on Hugh Grant row!)
  (can find books for theater as well as film)
  
• Golden Apple 323/658-6047
  7711 Melrose Ave.
  LA's biggest (and naturally most overpriced) comic book store

Section 3: THINGS TO DO: DAYTIME

X-FILES RELATED (I'm sure there's more - again, a smattering)

• Queen Mary - where "Triangle" was filmed (562) 435-3511
  Open 10am-6pm, $25 for self-guided tour & Titantic exhibit
  at the end of the 710 freeway at the beach, Long Beach
  
• Casey's - the bar where Mulder poured out his troubles to Blythe Danner in "Fight the Future"
  Open weekdays only. Kitchen open 11am-8pm M-F, bar open 11am-10pm
  (213) 629-2353
  613 S. Grand Ave., downtown Los Angeles (NOT an area to be alone at night!)
  
• 20th Century Fox Lot - even if you can't get in you can still get that photo op...
  10201 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles (west of Beverly Hills)
  
• Bronson Caves - where "Rush" was filmed.
  
• Check Dean "Langly" Haglund's site to see if he'll be performing.
  Or call the ACME Comedy Theater to see if he's performing at 10pm on Fridays.
  (323) 525-0202
  135 N. La Brea Ave., Hollywood
  
• Museum of Television and Radio
  Has tape of X-Files tribute from second season
  Open Wednesday-Sunday Noon-5pm, excpet Thursdays noon-9pm. Closed Mondays and Tuesday
  310/786-1000
  465 N. Beverly Drive, Beverly Hills
  
• Kripy Kreme - I'm not sure why X-Philes are so into these, but visit the site to find a location near you.
  
• Nova Express - Groovy little space-age-decorated coffee shop on Fairfax in Hollywood, across the street from Canter's. Not really XF-related, but you have to check out the massive collection of action figures - and yes, Mulder and Scully are there.
  (323) 658-7533
  426 N. Fairfax Ave., Hollywood

OTHER

• Getty Center
  So, I hear tell we Angelenos have this great multi-billion dollar museum we can't ever get into. You have to reserve your parking months in advance. You can park at a nearby Holiday Inn, but I've been told that if you didn't get a reservation, you probably don't want to go there because then it's overbooked and too jam-packed to breathe. That's about all I have to say about the Getty. If you're a masochist, however, here's the info:
  310/440-7300
  1200 Getty Center Drive, West LA (off the 405)
  
• Los Angeles County Museum of Art
  (323) 857-6000
  5905 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles (south of Hollywood)
  
• Hollywood Entertainment Museum
  I haven't been here, but I hear it's good and it's near the hotel.
  323/465-7900
  7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood
  
• The Hollywood sign - the best place to take a picture of it is on Gower (east of Vine). If you want to drive closer, take Franklin Ave. (the next busy street north of Hollywood Blvd.) east to Beachwood and turn right. Keep driving north on Beachwood. There's a coffeehouse on Beachwood where the friendly staff can direct you about the best way to drive as close as legally possible to the sign.
  
• Hollywood and Vine - not much to see there frankly, but the famous Capitol Records Building is on Vine - good photo op material. If you visit Capitol, you will see Duran Duran's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame right next to John Lennon's - whoo-hoo! So, if you see Chris Carter on his knees cleaning Duran's star - and I'm sure you will - say "whoosh!" to him for me.
  
• Farmer's Market - the trendy one
  In my opinion, you can't find a bigger tourist rip-off than this glorified "farmer's market." You won't find a farmers market so much as expensive fast-food joints and cheesy trinkets. I wouldn't recommned it if your time in LA is short. But it's the famous one so I feel obligated to put it down.
  M-Sat 9-6:30, Sun 10-5
  (323) 933-9211
  West 3rd at Fairfax
  
• Farmer's Market - the real one
  Sunday mornings on Selma Ave. between Cahuenga and Ivar
  
• Universal Studios/Universal Citywalk (home to many shops - including a sci-fi memorabilia place called Things from Another World, and restaurants)
  (818) 622-3801
  100 Universal City Plaza - over the Hollywood Hills, right off the 101.
  
• Disneyland
  $38 per adult, $29 with a So Cal resident (four people + CA res max)
  (714) 781-4565
  1313 S. Harbor, off Interstate 5
  
• Rodeo Drive - off of Wilshire, driving west, turn right when you get there and ooh and ahh and everything you can't afford.
  
• Warner Brothers Studios VIP Tour - at Laurie Fenster's suggestion "Obscenely expensive. But if anything is filming, they generally stop and let you watch for awhile. And they have a FANTASTIC movie museum on the lot."
  (818) 954-6000
  Weekdays every hour 9am-3pm, reservations required $30 - takes credit cards
  4000 Warner Blvd., Burbank
  
• Audiences Unlimited - for passes to live tapings of TV shows
  818/506-0043
  

More off-beat stuff

• Walk of Flame
  A museum for the dark side of life - murder, sex, drugs, madness, the occult, in the back room of a store called Hellhouse of Hollywood.
  (323) 465-0550
  6666 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood
  
• Tour of Forrest Ackerman's house
  Guided tour by the editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland & Vampirella
  Saturday afternoons only - call (323) MOON-FAN for info
  
• Sunset Strip Tattoo
  World-famous tatoo parlor.
  (323) 650-6530
  8418 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood
  
• Possible drives off the PCH or 405. (this is strictly from the Weeklies, I've never been to these places):
  -- Stoner's Cover (voted "LA's Best Artsy Neighborhood," whatever that means, just off Topanga Canyon Road
  -- Point Dunne, off of Westward Beach Ave.d ("Best Tanning Rock in LA!")
  -- Neptune's Net - restaurant ("LA's Best Biker/Surfpunk Roadhouse!") (310) 457-3095 - 42505 Pacific Coast Highway (WAY far north, though)
  -- Mulholland Drive - this I know is a beautiful drive.

Section 4: THINGS TO DO: NIGHTIME

COMEDY CLUBS

• Groundlings - Improv comedy. Many Saturday Night Live'rs got their feet wet here.
  
• Comedy.com's On Stage site - Not the most comprehensive info, but the closest you'll get to finding information about who's appearing in LA on the web.
  
• Check Dean "Langly" Haglund's site to see if he'll be performing.
•  

BARS

• Good Luck Bar - Popular bar with cheesy Asian interior
  (323) 666-3524
  1514 Hillhurst Ave, Silverlake
  
• Dresden Room
  (323) 665-4294
  Marty and Elaine of "Swingers" fame perform here.
  1760 N. Vermont, Los Feliz
  
• Fais Do-Do
  Never been there, but once voted best blues club if that's your thing.
  Also serves Cajun/soul food
  (323) 954-8080
  5257 W. Adams, Los Angeles (between La Brea and Fairfax)
  
• Hollywood Athletic Club
  Historic poolbar - where either the Oscars or Emmys were once held
  323/962-6600
  6525 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Cat n Fiddle
  British pub/restaurant - love it. Great selection of ales.
  323/468-3800
  6530 W. Sunset, Hollywood
  
• Formosa - Featured most recently in LA Confidential, across from
  Warner Hollywood Studios. Serves Chinese food.
  323/850-9050
  7156 Santa Monica Blvd, Hollywood
  
• All-Star Theatre Cafe
  Never been there - got this from perelandra's glowing review. One thing to correct - this is not within walking distance from the hotel - especially not at night.
  323/962-8898
  1714 Ivar Ave., (north of Hollywood Blvd.) Hollywood

These more upscale suggestions come from a co-worker, our resident lush. Beware, parking sucks where he hangs out in West Hollywood, and you'll probably pay dearly to valet.

• Dublins (Irish Bar - Very big place.)
  323/656-0100
  8240 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood
  
• Miagiis (sp? - Sushi Bar - Very, very big place)
  8225 W. Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood
  323/650-3524
  
• Trader Vic's (Beverly Hilton)
  Cheesy hotel chain bar - islandy drinks
  310/276-6345
  9876 Wilshire Blvd. (Santa Monica & Wilshire), Beverly Hills
  
• Rainbow Room Bar and Grille - (Very Hollywood) - Sunset
  310/278-4232
  9015 Sunset, West Hollywood
  
• House of Blues - (Very big, can watch a show - Tix $17.50)
  213/848-5100
  8430 Sunset, West Hollywood
  
• Sky Bar (Hotel Mondrian) - Unless you show up before 7:30 you need to be on the guest list, but it's good supposedly great for celeb spotting. Across from the House of Blues.
  323/848-6025
  8440 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood

SWING DANCE

• The Derby - the epicenter of swing in LA - great hangout, but if you want to dance, you better actually know what you're doing or the natives will be peeved. This is the type of place where they dress the part.
  Thursdays, Friday and Sundays at 8pm: Swing Dance Lessons
  Mondays at 8pm: Lindy Hop Lessons
  (323) 663-8979
  4500 Los Feliz Blvd, Los Feliz

If this is really what you want to do, I highly recommend looking for less intimidating clubs in advance at this site: http://www.nocturne.com

ROCK/POP DANCE CLUBS

A word on passes to clubs: you can find them either in the LA Weekly or, if you're on Melrose at Vinyl Fetish record store or Retail Slut clothing store.

• Crush Bar (Popular 70s dance club)
  323/461-9017
  1743 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Hollywood
  
• 7070 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood - home to a variety of floating clubs:
  Thursdays - Perversion
  Fridays - Clockwork Orange - gets you into 3 different clubs: Xanadu (80s),
  Asylum (House) and Stigmata (alternative). $5 pass in LA Weekly before 10pm
  
• Makeup (new glam club, 1st Saturday of every month)
  $5/LA Weekly ad before 10pm
  (323) 769-5500
  
• El Rey Theatre
  5515 Wilshire Blvd., Hollywood
  
• 7969 (another home to floating clubs):
  (323) 469-6636
  7969 Santa Monica Blvd, Hollywood
  Fridays: Illusion - 8:30 - male exotic dance show
  After 10pm "drag party", funk, hip-hop, house
  Saturdays - 8pm - male exotic dance show
  After 10pm - Sin-a-matic: alternative/techno... admission includes watching professionals get spanked in the back room. Oh, boy!
  Sundays - Velvet. Dancing, go-go girls
  
• The Palace
  I've only been here for concerts, but this was perelandra's suggestion
  Fridays: KROQ (our big alternative radio station) sponsors the dance
  Saturdays: KIIS (more Top 40 station ) sponsors
  323/462-3000
  1735 N. Vine St, Hollywood
  
• Goth clubs - check LA Weekly. There's a floating club that will be open during Xeminar weekend, but I don't know the name off-hand. Something sufficiently ethereal I'm sure.
  
• Conga Room - Latin Music and dance, owned by, I'm told, Jimmy Smits and Jennifer Lopez
  323/938-1696
  5364 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles (south of Hollywood)
  
• Rage - trendy gay/mixed dance club
  (310) 652-7055
  8911 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood
  Friday: Top 40
  Saturday: "uplifting" house
  Sunday Progressive house/trance

Those looking for a more extensive list of gay dance clubs than the Weekly offers will want to head to West Hollywood and pick up one of the free weeklies at a Starbucks or the bookstore A Different Light (310) 854-6601 - 8853 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood

Section 5: RESTAURANTS

Cheap to moderate - you want expensive, buy a Zagat's. ;->

American - about $15-$25, highly recommended by my coworkers

• Red
  (323) 937-0331
  7450 Beverly Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Cobalt Cantina
  (323) 953-9991
  4326 Sunset Blvd., Silverlake

American - cheaper

• Hamburger Hamlet
  (323) 467-6106
  Almost next door to the hotel - great gourmet burgers and shakes
  6914 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Pink's Famous Chili Dogs
  (World famous hot dog stand - always has a line)
  (323) 931-4223
  709 North La Brea Ave. (just north of Melrose), Hollywood
  
• The Spaghetti Factory
  Great dinner deals - love this place.
  323/469-7149
  5939 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Johnny Rockets
  50s style diner, convenient if you're on Melrose
  (323) 651-3361
  7507 Melrose Ave., Hollywood
  
• IHOP (and why not?!)
  (323) 466-8370
  7006 W. Sunset Blvd., cross st. Orange, Hollywood
  
• "Rock n Roll" Denny's
  No list of LA fare is complete without this hangout for spandex rockers, next to the Guitar Center
  (323) 876-6660
  7373 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Hard Rock Cafe - at the Beverly Center
  (310) 276-7605
  8600 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles (between Hollywood and Beverly Hills
  

Kosher Diner fare

• Canter's
  (Save Fares recently immortalized this diner in their cover of the Waitresses' "Merry Christmas." Open into the wee hours.)
  (323) 651-2030
  419 N. Fairfax, Hollywood

Just plain Diner fare

• Swingers (yes, they filmed there)
  323/653-5858
  8020 Beverly Blvd., Hollywood

American/Soul Food

• Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles
  Don't laugh - I take out of town guests here all the time and they love it.
  (323) 466-7453
  1514 N. Gower, between Sunset and Hollywood, Hollywood

(And if you go there, I recommend stopping by Red Ribbon - a Filipino bakery, and one of the best - on the corner of Gower and Sunset).

Pizza

• Pizzeria Uno
  I'm from Chicago. Take my word for it - it's good pizza.
  310/652-9263
  8571 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood
  
• Numero Uno
  Cheaper, convenient if you're going memorabilia hunting
  323/469-2213
  6714 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood

Italian

• The Stinking Rose
  Oh. My. God. If you're into garlic and lots of it, don't leave LA without going to this place. Possibly my favorite restaurant in the universe.
  310/652-7673
  55 N. La Cienaga, Beverly Hills
  
• Louise's Trattoria - closer to the hotel, not as much garlic.
  (323) 667-0777
  4500 Los Feliz Blvd., Los Feliz
  
• Micelli's - very casual, red vinyl booths, cheesy -- fun -- they also sing here!
  Thumbs up from a friend who loves their pizza and dessert)
  323/466-3438
  1646 N. Las Palmas Ave, Hollywood
  
• C&O Trattoria (In Marina Del Rey, an Italian co-worker highly recommended this place. Apparently the waiters will sing to you at 8pm)
  310/823-2530
  31 Washington Blvd., Marina Del Rey

Chinese - unless you're in Chinatown, it sort of sucks in LA for the most part unfortunately. You have to do some traveling to find good food:

• Twin Dragon - my favorite in the Hollywood area.
  (310) 657-7355
  8597 W. Pico (just south of Beverly Hills)

There are others I can recommend, but they're further away, like...

• Szechwan
  310/821-6256
  2905 Washington Blvd., Marina del Rey
  
• Gourmet 88
  (818) 848-8688
  230 N. San Fernando, Burbank

Sushi

• Crazy Fish
  (Crazy refers to the insane cafeteria-style service. Long wait (20-30 min), but arguably the freshest and best value for sushi in LA - it's the one place I felt comfortable taking a Japanese pen-pal!)
  Open for dinner only
  310/550-8547
  9105 W. Olympic, Beverly Hills
  
• For a shorter wait, there's a place I love and can't remember the name to - BUT its claim to fame is that it's on the same block as The Viper Room, and it's next door to this place:
  Aahs!
  310/657-4221
  8878 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, cross st. San Vicente
  
• For more ambience, my favorite place is Nippon
  (818) 506-6167 - open after 5:30 on weekends, open for lunch weekdays
  10155 Riverside Dr., cross st. Forman, Toluca Lake

Thai

• Toi Thai - very fun "rock n roll" Thai-American restaurant
  (323) 874-8062
  7505 1/2 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood
  
• Sha Sha Cafe - my new favorite Thai restaurant.
  (323) 851-5494 - open for dinner on weekends, lunch and dinner weekdays
  3353 Barham Blvd., Hollywood (between the Hollywood Hills and Burbank)
  
• Tommy Tang's - slightly more upscale and has sushi as well as Thai. If you're still there Tuesday night I believe that's when the waiters dress in drag.
  (323) 937-5733
  7313 Melrose Ave., Hollywood

Mexican

• El Coyote, Hollywood
  323/939-2255
  7312 Beverly Blvd, between La Brea & Fairfax, Hollywood
  
• El Conquistador (my co-worker thinks this place is better than El Coyote, but I haven't been there)
  323/666-5136
  3701 W. Sunset Blvd, Silverlake

Moroccan

• Moun of Tunis (one of those places where you sit on the floor and eat with your hands. Nightly entertainment - I think they even have belly dancers sometimes)
  323/874-3333
  7445 1/2 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood

Greek

• Joseph's Cafe - not the anyone cares, but I once interviewed actor Noah Taylor here and he seemed to like it okay. ;->
  323/462-8689
  1775 Ivar Ave., between Hollywood Blvd. and Yucca, Hollywood

Carribean

• Cha Cha Cha
  323/664-7723
  656 N. Virgil, cross st. Melrose, Silverlake

Coffee

• Urth Cafe
  The honey vanilla lattes are killer.
  310/659-0628
  8565 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood
  
• Insomnia Cafe
  Comfy couches, open late.
  323/931-4943
  7286 Beverly Blvd., Hollywood
  
• The Abbey
  Great coffee, decadent desserts, nice big patio - in trendy gay club area
  310/289-8410
  692 N. Robertson, cross st. Santa Monica, West Hollywood
  
• Bourgeois Pig
  Coffee, pool, a bookstore next door - parking sucks, though.
  (323) 962-6366
  5931 Franklin Blvd., Hollywood