Dreamland II

Quotes

Morris!Mulder (voiceover): "Once upon a time there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes, and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox," which probally taught him how to fight--or not--he pretty much lead a no0rmal life. But the worst thing by far, the biggest kick in the slats this kid, Fox, ever got, was what happened to his sister. One day she just dissapeared. Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off, graduated top of his class at Oxford, then top of his class at the FBI Academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect or supervisor and friends, and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change."

Morris!Mulder: "You hate me now, right? Dana, I'm sorry I narked on you to Kersh, but I was scared you were going to lose your job."
Scully: "You did the right thing, Mulder."
Morris!Mulder: "I did?"
Scully: "I've been telling you for years, you should play more by the book, haven't I?"
Morris!Mulder: "Hey, it's the new me."

Morris!Mulder: "So what did Kersh say?"
Scully: "He said that I was willful, insubordinate, and not a team player, and the FBI didn't need agents that weren't team players."
Morris!Mulder: "What a jerk. Then what?"
Scully: "Two week suspension without pay."
Morris!Mulder: "You're not serious! Who does he think he is?"
Scully: "See you in two weeks."
Morris!Mulder: "Dana? Do you suppose a home-cooked meal might ease the pain a little? Say at my place? 8:00?" (Scully nods yes and leaves.) "I think she likes me, Tiger."

Mulder!Morris: "Maverick?" (She keeps talking) "Hey, grandma top gun, will you shut the hell up!"

Mulder!Morris: "We have a security leak gentlemen, and for all I knew, it was one of you. That's why I decided I should approach Agent Scully alone to find out who her contact is. Unfortunately, her partner, Agent Mulder, screwed everything up."

Morris!Mulder talking to himself: "A little mood lighting for the bedroon. No bedroom." (He opens the door to what would be the bedroom and pornos fall out) "This guy hasn't been laid in 10 years."

JoAnne: "What are you doing back?"
Mulder!Morris: "JoAnne..."
JoAnne: "Your stuff is all outside. Take it and get out."
Mulder!Morris: "JoAnne, listen to me. There's something I have to tell you."
JoAnne: "I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, what's her name."
Mulder!Morris: "Dana Scully. Special Agent Dana Scully."
JoAnne: "Special Tramp Dana Scully."
Mulder!Morris: "She's my partner, JoAnne."
JoAnne: "I'm supposed to be your partner."
Mulder!Morris: "My name is not Morris Fletcher, it's Fow Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband. We are not married. We are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm despretly trying to get back to."
JoAnne: "You know, Morris, most men when thay have a mid-life crisis, they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves 'Fox.'"

Mulder!Morris: "One false move and I'm history. Which means that your husband will also be history because I won't be able to get back and set things the way they're supposed to be. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
JoAnne: "Morris, if you don't like the man you've become, I don't blame you one bit. But this flight from reality isn't the answer. Accept who you are, however repulsive that may be."

Morris!Mulder: "Perfect timing. Welcome."
Scully: "Wow, Mulder."
Morris!Mulder: "You like, huh? Yeah, I thought it was just time I stopped living lilke a frat boy. Come on and see the rest of the place. Over there."
Scully: "I didn'e even know you had a bedroom."
Morris!Mulder: "Oh yeah. Yeah, you got to have someplace to lounge around and read the Sunday 'New York Times,' you know." (He motions for her to sit on the bed.)
Scully: "Oh, no, that's okay. No, thanks."
Morris!Mulder: "Seriously, just check it out. Seriously."
Scully, sitting on the waterbed: "Oh." (Morris!Mulder sits down abruptly, causing them to lay back.) "Woah!" (She see that his ceiling is covered with mirrors) "Mulder."
Morris!Mulder: "Maybe I like to read the 'New York Times' backwards. Do you hate it?"
Scully: "No, I don't hate it."
Morris!Mulder: "Well, alright then. Uh, don't go away."
(He leaves to go get wine. Meanwhile, he's singing 'Let's Get It On.')
Scully: "Do you know what would really be fun?"
Morris!Mulder: "What?" (She takes out her handcuffs.) "Oh, yeah. Me first?"
Scully: "You first."
Morris!Mulder: "First time. Now what?" (He turns around after handcuffing himself to the bed to find Scully with her gun pointed at him.)
Scully: "You're not Mulder."
Morris!Mulder: "What? Baby..."
Scully: "'Baby' me and you'll be peeing through a catheter. Your name is Morris Fletcher. It was Mulder who was arrested in the desert. He was telling the truth about you. Now, how do we get things back to normal?"
Morris!Mulder: "How should I know? I wouldn't do it even if I could. You saw my wife. Do you think I want to go back to that? Two kids who'd probally kill me in my sleep for the insurance money. A $400,000 mortgage on a house that just appraised at $226. And my job...yee-gods! You think being a man in black is all voodoo mind control? I can see the paperwork."
Scully: "Are you through?"
Morris!Mulder: "As far as I'm concerned, this thing is a gift from heaven. Besides, no one is ever going to believe you, so you might as well just get used to me being here."
Scully: "Or, I just shoot you...Baby!"
Morris!Mulder: "I'm telling you, I have no idea how to change things back."
Scully: "What about Mulder's source? The man he was supposed to meet in the desert? What about him? Do you know how to get in touch with him?"
Morris!Mulder: "I don't know anything about that. Sorry, you're out of luck."
(The phone rings. His anwsering maching picks up to Morris!Mulder's greeting of: "Hello, hello. I'm very busy entertaining a special guest. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.")
General Wegman (voice on phone): "Agent Mulder, I'm trying you one last time. Are you or are you not interested in the classified information I have to give you? Please pick up the phone if your there."

Scully: "All right, let's run through this one more time."
Morris!Mulder: "I'll go in there alone just like you told me to. He'll be wearing a blue Buffalo Bills cap."
Scully: "And?"
Morris!Mulder: "And, if I try to slip out the back door...da-da-da-dee-dee-dee." (He motions getting shot in the head)
Scully: "Get going."
Morris!Mulder: "Can't we start over? You know, do that thing with the handcuffs?" (Scully cocks her gun.) "That's probally not your scene."

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