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""...investigating yet another enormous pile of doo-doo." Once again, one line sums up the whole episode. This week Mulder and Scully investigate another pile of doo-doo in a somewhat 'crappy' episode that got better ratings from me than 'The Beginning,' but let's face it folks, that wasn't too difficult to manage. Seeing as how this episode didn't have many cool one-liners, I can't do the format I tried for last week's episode review. Maybe next week. I guess I'm being kind of hard on 'Drive.' But I really wasn't impressed. Mulder and Scully were split up for almost the entire episode, and I always miss their banter and "Umph" they add to every scene they're in together. Unfortunately, St. Vince decided to go for the totally NoRomo script this week, and we got stuck watching Scully bark at stray morgue attendants (which was kind of fun, I'll admit) while Mulder got to put the pedal to the metal with a shreiking Mr. Crump in the back seat. But I loved the beginning bit where most of us (even us devout Philes) grimaced and groaned and got all grumpy because our All New X-Files episode was being interupted for a darn police-chase update. I admit, they had me going for a bit. (Good thing the tape was already running) Now we know that the creative episode beginnings are starting up again, and we're in for a good season. In fashion news, Dana Scully's ensembles just keep getting better and better, where-as her lanky partner, Fox Mulder, seems to need some help in picking out suits. He was doing so well last year, and now he's in this brown thing. Well, I didn't like it. The sunglasses were pretty cool, though. We don't often get to see him in those. Now, I'm not sure whether this falls under the category of "fashion," but I did like the quarantine suits Scully and her friends were wearing when they went to check out the Crump's home. (Also: the flashlights are back! Gotta love those high-beam "light-a-whole-set-with-one" flashlights.) They've had good safety suits in the past, but they've always been indoors. This time they were outside--at night. But no worries, the costume people did a great job of putting lights in the face section of the suits that illuminated the actor's faces. Yes, this has been done before, but it's always done with lighting that points directly in at them, not two bars on either side of their face. Good job. Cell phones. Scully's got a new one, and poor Mulder went through "terminal cell phone withdrawl" when Crump pitched his out the window. ("That was so stupid, Crump! That was so stupid!!") You can tell Scully uses her mobile a lot when she knows how to flip it open with a quick flick of her wrist. It's like the old westerns, but instead of doing fancy tricks with their guns, Mulder and Scully do it with their cell phones. And for those of you who care: Scully's cell phone number is (202) 555-0166. The gross out factor was good in this episode. It wasn't a particularly scary episode, but it had it's moments when Scully went poking around in Mrs. Crump's exploded ear. Toby Lindala does it once again. Speaking of the autopsy, why weren't they wearing goggles and hair nets like every other time Scully does an autopsy? Especially when there's the threat of exploding ears. How did Mulder figure this one? I appreciate the fact that they explained a lot of what happened to the victims by the end of the episode, and I was impressed that it was all very feasable (feasable in an X-Files sort of way). But how did he know that that case would be something he'd want to look in to while they were out in Idaho? And how could Mulder deduce what he did from a 10 second bit of videotape he sees on Farmer Joe's TV? "Looked to me like he was trying to warn the cops before she died." This guy sure does take leaps in his investigations. It's amazing how most of them are right, too. I loved this little dialogue, so I thought I'd include it in here. Crump--"What kind of name is Mulder anyway? What is that, like...like Jewish?" Mulder--"*Excuse* me?" Crump--"Jewish, it is, right?" Mulder--"It's Mr. Mulder to you, you peanut pickin' bastard!" So, it's looking like Mulder's Jewish. I admit, I was thinking that after seeing 'Kaddish'--Mrs. Mulder's Christian and Bill Mulder was Jewish. They never celebrated one way or another, so Mulder never got into either religion. It makes a lot of sense. But we never got a solid confirmation, unless you count: "On behalf of the International Jewish Conspiracy, I just need to inform you that we're almost out of gas," as one. It's really too bad that Mulder and Crump's relationship got off on the wrong foot, because they could have had a wonderful time discussing conspiracies like "Agent Orange" and the government "puttin' radiation in little retarded kids gonads." The other half of the partnership did her share of investigating in this episode, too. I was very impressed at the way Scully figured out that it was the sound that made Crump and the others sick. But then again, when am I going to learn? Scully's always right when it comes to this kind of stuff. About half-way through the episode I became convinced of the fact that Mulder and Scully would come up with some way to save Crump's life, but they would be two minutes too late. The tried and true method of Mulder being those few moments too slow and having to witness another death he was powerless to stop came into use again this week. Assistant Director Kersch. Hmm. I don't know. I can't comment on him right now. He has the potential to be a great character, I'll say that. But that's what I said about Spender and Diana. And look what happened with them! I must say I'm looking forward to seeing our friend Skinner in next week's episode, though. But Kersch did point out something I've thought of myself. "You two obviously relish the role of martyr." I don't know about Scully, but I think Mulder does. Seeing as how this was a slightly religious episode in terms of Mulder, I feel like I'm allowed to take this one step further. I think Mulder quest is, in his eyes a religious one. Yes, this has been said before, but I don't think I've ever heard him compared to Jesus. I don't mean for this to be sacriligious in any way, but I think Mulder sees himself as that kind of a figure. He works for the good of the people (or what he percieves to be the good of the people) and doesn't want anything that I can see in return. He's never asked for a raise (not that we've seen) and he doesn't look for fame and glory through the media, either. When confronted with some costly expenditures, he immediatly tells AD Kersch he'll pay for them out of his own pocket. I think Mulder thinks he's somewhat holy. (And we all know St. Scully is anyway.)

ODDS AND ENDS
* "Jehovah's Witnesses?" I loved that line; Scully's patient face and Mulder bored insect-swatting in the background.
* The red Taurus was interesting. For my birthday I started jokingly requesting a car, now my requests are for a red Taurus, not just any car. Or maybe a black Intrigue. (Like I'll ever get either one)
* Something little that caught my eye: When Mulder's trying to sell Scully on his day trip to Nevada, the last thing you see in that scene is this cute little eye-brow wiggle that Mulder does. Go back and look for it. It's cute!
* "You really know how to pick 'em, I'll tell you that." It's uncanny how Mulder can pick out the real X-Files from the hoaxes...even from a snippit of news tape shot from a helicopter.
* "I must be crampin' your style." Did anyone notice how many G's were dropped from the end of verbs in this episode? I guess moving to LA has made them go Suth'n. (No offense intended to anyone who happens to live in the South...just a joke)
* "Gee, I don't know if I can see to drive; my eyes are tearin' up so bad." Once again: the dropped 'g'. And I never thought I'd hear Mulder say "gee".
* ...did anyone else think Scully looked about ready to cry at the end in the meeting with Kersch?
I guess I really was too hard on this episode at the beginning there. Let me say that after going through the whole review rigamarole, I've re-evaluated the episode and am starting to think of it in a better light. I guess it's one of those episodes like Unusual Suspects and Detour--at first you think they're total bombs, but the more you think about them the more you like them. Now, watch, by this time next year, I'll be singing the praises of this episode. "
-Lass S.-

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