Welcome To The Asylum Personals....

(We Are Now Legal)

WALLY HUMP:

Hey ladies, My name is Wally Hump. I purchased this link to premiere my killer ass in order to meet the ladies of America! Now before you just move on to a better site let me defend this piece of sex meat they call the "Hump". First off, I did a little internet searching. I am not a fan of this site, however, it is very very cheap.. so cheap, it was the only site in my price range. I spent at least fifteen dollars for you my sweet ladies. I talked to Lee Raw the technical Chief of Design for The Asylum and he assured me that the fifteen dollars I gave this corporation will go to the inner workings of this site to continue delivering quality information of SNL on the internet. He concluded by stating that they will be soliciting only the finest prostitutes in Long Island. Any who, I have to say I bought this slot because I need a woman. I am a very attractive male, 90% sex, 10 brains. If any lucky girls get to go on a date with me my Ma says she will let me borrow her 1981 Cordoba. Only the best will do my my lady! I was also nominated by people Magazine as one of the Worlds most Revolting Bachalors of the Century right in front of James Earl Ray; the guy who killed that Martin Luther King guy. Besides the fact that I am legally retarded, I would be a great boyfriend for any deserving females. What I am basically saying is Please! Please date me!!! I need a woman! Badly!! At least email me and taunt me with your female beautey. I beg of you... Please treat me with the contempt I deserve! I'm sick of being alone so kick me in the teeth and call me your bitch!

To win a date with male sensation Wally Hump email his corporate offices at wallyzhump@yahoo.com. Write in twenty five words or less, single spaced, explain why you are truly deserving of Wally's true love... and also please leave your bra size.

If you are one of the lucky few dozens... you win a date with Wally. You get a free meal and Gilbert Gottfried's autograph on an old pair of Wallys used briefs.

THE ASYLUM QUESTIONAIRE

AGE: 26 1/2

PREFERENCE: What are you getting at buddy?

OCCUPATION: Part time Calvin Klien Underwear model/ Part time Chicago land area belching Champion.

HOBBIES: White supremacy.

EYE COLOUR: A murkey greyish, hazel, puke.

FAVORITE FOOD: Boiled lamb and harvested onions.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING: Harvested onions.

BIGGEST SECRET: I know how to avoid prespiring.

ROMANTIC MOMENT: That time I did my beautiful wife and that lesbian chick from Jack In The Box, in a box with a guy named Jack. Wierd, eh?

SENSENUAL PART OF YOUR BODY: The back of my neck, next to my sores and the mole in the shape of Elvis' head.

REASON FOR LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDING: She had a problem with me beating her... Women, it is always something!

To date Wally Hump email him at his love shack in the Montana wilderness at wallyzhump@yahoo.com

WILL ACCEPT PRISION BITCHES!!!

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