WELCOME TO THE SUPER
FRIENDS HEADQUARTERS
1973-1986
LATE BREAKING SUPER HERO NEWS
:
09/04/02
- SUPERMAN ANNOUNCED TODAY IN METROPOLIS THAT
HE IS OFFICIALLY GAY. WE NEVER SUSPECTED. SO THE TIGHTS REALLY WERE JUST AN
EXCUSE!
- IN IDAHO, A LOCAL PAPER ANNOUNCED THAT WASHINGTON
D.C'S OWN SPERMMAN IS A HOT ITEM WITH ACADEMY AWARD WINNER AND SEXY BITCH
GWENYTH PALTROW.
- LEE LANCASTER HAS AN OFFICIAL FRIENDS COUNT
OF THREE FRIENDS. IT'S A SURPRISE.
- SELLOUT MAN IS MAKING YET ANOTHER BLOCKBUSTER
SEQUEL TO HIS LUCRATIVE FRANCHISE. HE PRODUCING AND STARRING IN SELLOUTMAN
XXII FOR A REPORTED 20 MILLION DOLLARS AND A STOCK SHARE IN MACDONALDS
COMPANY. THE STORY FOLLOWS SELLOUT MANS BATTLE AGAINST DOCTOR HIPPY. WHEN
WE'LL HE STOP THE INSANITY.
- SPIDER MAN TURNED 72 THIS WEEK, AND ONE
HAS TO WONDER HOW LONG HIS WEB WILL LAST. HE CAN SAVE NYC FROM VENOM BUT
HE CAN'T PROGRAM A VCR!
- IN A TRAGIC TURN, THE DAREDEVIL WAS STRIPPED
OF HIS SUPER FRIENDS LICENSE. HE'S NOW WORKING AS A JANITOR AT JFK JR. HIGH.
- ALBINOMAN'S SECRET IDENTITY HAS FINALLY BEEN
REVEALED AS LATE NIGHT'S CONAN O'BRIEN. UNBELIEVABLE YET VERY BELIEVABLE.
A SUPER FRIEND MOMENT...
In this especially memorable clip from March 1981, Super friends meet in
their secret underground headquarters to decide which one of of them impregnated
Wonder Woman. Robin came out of the closet, Aquaman had only gills, leaving
Batman and Superman to collectively blame Invisibleman from Las Vegas.
In this heart warming Super Friends Sunday morning special, the Fash
teaches 14 year old Teen Flash about the birds and the bees. In this clip,
he says that sometimes in life and love being fast isn't always an advantage.
The Flashes new name became "The .000001/3 Second Man".
In a tragic side to the Super Friends, the Ambiguously Gay Duo were
kicked out of the group due to their alternate lifestyle. They especially
creeped out Daredevil. By the middle of their first season they were gonel!
But the Duo knew the truth was because they were Irish and had laser vision
that could see through briefs. The Duo was replaced by "Jiss" the leg humping
dog. They left the Super Friends in 1984 and turned to vigorous campaigning
for Presidential candidate Walter Mondale(D).
BACK TO THE ASYLUM