THE HOSTS OF SATURDAY NIGHT...

Jim Carrey is definately the funniest host, even though he's Canadian.

Sarah Michelle Geller has hosted three times now. She loves to hold her boobs, yet she freaks out whenever I and my trucker buddies touch them! Whatever girl, she has gone Hollywood dude!
Jen was a great host! I gained a newfound respect for her talents and in one sketch you can totally see a nipple. It was delightful!
Britney has hosted twice, but her breasts have only hosted once.
Al Gore has hosted once, he was abducted, liquidated, beaten severely and touched inappropriately by Lorne. Finally, he turned out to be the best host of 2002... behind twelve others.

OPENING

Every Saturday night a figure in the public eye sadly attempts to be funny on national television. Generally this is both sad and pathetic, but every now and again a host shines and changes the way we perceive important issues. Remember back in '84 when Ed Asner  exposed the harmful effects breast implants have on infants.

General Electric Presents: 

A PLACE TO SELL OUT 

The tradition of selling-out is the essence of Saturday Night Live. The show has seen the greatest sell-outs of the twentieth century. All the comedy greats have been invited to studio 8H. Some refuse to come and file a restraining order. Some do come, from Steve Martin to Tom Hanks to Jim Carrey to the Dunkin' Donuts guy.

 These are the hosts of Saturday Night Live.

TOP HOSTS I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH:

1) George Wendt (I am not gay!!!)

2)Britney Spears (We had fun together, then that Justin come around and messed it up.)

3)Reese Witherspoon (Very Sexy now that she is legal!!)

4) Elle MacPherson (I know I'm just a hairless, lanky, virgin with a website-but I think I have a chance!)

5) Christina Aguilera (She hasn't hosted yet but she has great buttock muscles.)

How do you get to host?

There is a systematic procedure to host the show. 

  1. First, sleep with Lorne and/or something that knows Lorne. Remember, this is your selling point. Make it last. 
  2. Second get really famous. This should be easy. 
  3. Thirdly, find something to promote, you're doing a toothpaste commercial? that works. 
  4. Forth step, do a bad movie. Maybe something with Chevy Chase or Steve Guttenberg. Right now they are casting for a movie based on the Mango character. This should be a great opportunity to suck.  
  5. Finally, you need to have a scandal that will make people accept you and love you. Do something, anything! I recommend a sexual scandal, it worked for Rob Lowe. O.J. tried killing to get on the show but that just sort of backfired.

It's just that easy to host the show. 

This webpage is brought to you by Peg's "Sexy Limbs, Artificial Legs". The sexiest wooden limbs in Snub, New Jersey. Get your sexy limbs today. They make a great Christmas gift and they are now environmentally friendly. 

Coming Soon: *New Disposable legs. "For the cripple on the go!"
 
 

Last Updated by Hammer(No I am not hosting... this is my job now!)

*This website is in no way assosiated with talent.

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