So, there's three guys standing at the gate of heaven waiting for St. Peter. An Optomotrist, a Doctor and Lawyer. Finally, St. Peter comes and says, "Okay, to get into Heaven, you have to answer one question.
The Optomotrist walks up first. St. Peter says, "What was the famous ship that sank in 1912?"
"Thats easy," He said. "The Titanic."
"Go on in." Said Peter.
Then the Doctor walked up.
"How many people died on the Titanic?" Said Peter.
"Well, that would be hard, but fortunately I saw the movie. 1500."
"Go on in."
Then, the Lawyer walks up.
"Name them." Said Peter.

Q. What do you get when you cross the "Atlantic" with the "Titanic?"
A. Halfway!

A paniced passenger on the Titanic asked how far is the nearest land. The Captain replies with the words 'Ooh about two miles' The paniced passenger then breaths a sigh of relief but still looks confussed and he looks out to sea and then says 'Which Direction' The Captain replies with the word 'Down!'

The Top 15 Rejected Theme Songs for the Movie "Titanic"
15. Ironic
14. Under The Sea
13. Dancing on the Ceiling
12. Ice Ice Baby
11. Feeling HOT, HOT, HOT
10. Smoke on the Water
9. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
8. 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall...the Floor...the Wall...the Ceiling... the Other Wall...
7. Scream
6. Candle In The Water, 1912 ("Goodbye, English boat...")
5. When I'm Sixty-Four (Farenheit)
4. Hey, You, Get Offa My Raft
3. Achy Breaky Hull
2. Jump
1. Whoomp, There It Is!

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